I am going through a heavy transition in my life mentally, physically and lastly spiritually. I say lastly because it’s the part of me that is the most stubborn, tattered and lost.
I want to start off by saying that there is every reason for me to be happy. As I am happy, even when things are far from my idea of perfection, I know that there are miracles happening all around me.
However, the most confusing part is my spiritual life. I posted about this before – bad habits die hard. It’s not only habits but mindsets, expectations and just the way I was raised. You know, silly things that I take for granted. Letting one bad thing slip, or noticing that I think a certain way or entertain a certain feeling or attitude.
I become a busy body when I’m running away from something. AGAIN. Some of us are stubborn and need a kick to the rump before realizing that God is tugging at our hearts to look at him.
How caught up I am in my own personal goals, living life, trying to make the best of life without him being part of it.
How dare I do such a thing. You would think after all he’s done for me I’d get with the program.
What happened to the luster of worship. The passion in reading the word. The humility in bowing down in prayer. When since talking to him became a burden? Why can’t I pour out my heart to him? Why do I always feel the need to pour out my heart to others? Even though I do not, I want to more than I admit.
So many emotions, so many, too many things…
No wonder stress is common in our day and age. But is that really an excuse?
I have so much to be thankful for and yet no gratitude shown to the one who is responsible for it all.
I exclaim ” Thank God” or ” By the grace of God” But such empty words if I don’t tell him first.
“TELL HIM FIRST. ” “HIM FIRST.”
It’s not about me. Remember. It’s not a concert or one woman band. This is God’s world and I fit into it. Sounds weird to most but this is the truth. He made it and I fit into it. We are part of GOD’S PLAN! HIS PLAN.
Which means we consult him for OUR LIVES. MY LIFE.
So how dare we ( I ) think to put myself, others or anything before his plans.
The audacity. Get real. Stay true. I just have to be real. Humility is a gem. A wonderful skill, trait, personality, virtue to have. But it’s hard to come by, hard to maintain.
Humility. Knowing who you are and where you fit in. What’s my place?
I am not a god. I am not the protagonist in a book. I fit into HIS PLAN.
So who am I to take the place of the one who made the world?
Grace. I’m so thankful for it. Without it I wouldn’t have the opportunity to stand before God and speak with him without the stain of sin. Grace , the opportunity to allow God to do his job. Because sin, whether it is fornication, murder or PRIDE ( lack of humility) etc etc, destroys the bridge of communication.
Ever felt far away? On a distant planet away from the SUN? Felt cold and lifeless, empty, frail and afraid? Even when you think you are comfy under that blanket ( false security), not realizing it’s exactly what’s keeping you back. Not realizing that you should be doing everything in your power to lean towards the sun ( like some plants do).
Without our heavenly father we will fall. I will fall.
I don’t want to travel that path. Been there, done that and it was scary.
Scariest time. Deadly gamble of the soul. Don’t go there.
A WARNING. Danger lurks in hidden places.
Don’t let life, goals, negativity, your job…..NOTHING hinder you from making God primary!