Monthly Archives: March 2014


I decided that I don’t want to sit around having a round table discussion about my problems. Neither do I want to participate in listening. I’m not trying to be selfish or anything but it really solves NOTHING when we sit around and  discuss how horrible life is. I find myself participating in things that drain my spirit: leaving me hollow, tired, and sad. I depend on the joy of God but if I’m feeding my soul with negativity, how can I be a productive christian? We can discuss our problems all day until we are blue in the face but what are we going to do about it? I’m making a conscious decision to walk away from every negative conversation. If I have a problem I will pray. When I am sad, I will speak the truth of God’s word over my circumstances. This cycle of complaining needs to end.


Sadly, I will have to put in great effort to stay away from people who love to complain. Who only see the negative in every situation. Who let their feelings cloud their judgement and chose not to let God work in their lives. You become just like the company you keep. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, you cannot fix them. If this person is you, you are in control over your actions. YOU CHOOSE whether or not you want to trust in God. You choose whether or not you will listen to good advice. You CHOOSE!

So don’t blame anyone for the problems in your life. We all have struggles: from the rich to the poor, Black, White and those in between, Christians and Non-Believers. We are all suffering in this world of sin and we need to realize that. Pity-party and complaining will get us no where.

For those that believe in Christ we have hope. There is a bigger responsibility for us to depend on God and wait and trust in him. It is our responsibility to chase after him. We have a greater responsibility to be a joyful example of God’s grace.

Throw away fear. Throw away insecurity. Throw away negativity. Throw away pity-party and pride and chase after Jesus.

There are TONS of scripture about complaining, negativity, etc.

Here’s a link to give you a head start.

Random Love.

Never be a martyr or a people pleaser. Someone who makes the people around you comfortable before you are even comfortable. You will become a target for various kinds of people simply because you have no boundaries. Like I mentioned before in another post, those that love you will not exhaust you. They won’t use or deplete you. As you invest in them, they will invest in you. Be mindful of their words and actions. Be sure that they line up.

Don’t put too much emotion or trust in those who do not even give you an explanation or make any effort in helping you understand what they want. Communication is the foundation to every healthy relationship. Someone that loves you would WANT to communicate and come to a conclusion.

In our world, love is scarce. It’s not something human beings naturally have. Parents are usually love-less and then those traits are passed down to their children. It takes just one person open and willing to learn and acquire love to change their environment. Before we can change our world we must allow God to change us first. We need to take the time to grow in love. Growing in love is painful. We start seeing our flaws. We begin to see the flaws in others. We begin to see what doesn’t work. We begin to feel. However, there is a flip side. We also begin to see our own transformations. We learn how to interact with others or when not to interact with others. We stop caring so much about the silly things and start investing in meaningful things. We learn how to celebrate others. We learn how to keep our dignity. We become people of integrity.

We are all imperfect but once we start seeking change, it will come. I’m learning to accept that some of us are learning and some of us will always be in a rut. Surround yourself with people who are learning. Help those who are learning. And yes, remove the rut dwellers. Maybe or may not they will find that spark that will ignite their passion for learning. If not, that is their own problem to fix. Accept that only God can change people, NOT US. We are only called to understand.

Love starts from the inside out. God said, love your neighbor AS yourself. Not more or less. Most of all love God with everything we have. Without that, we won’t even know where to start on our quest towards love.

Forgive yourself and others. Seek God for ultimate forgiveness. Always remind yourself of who you are and who you will become.

Be joyful always!

I won’t be silenced.

I will not be silenced

told when to speak

by you!

Close your ears and hide if you must

for my words speak truths that

haunt you at night.


Everything I represent

exposes the lies that you embody

I shall never be silenced!


Shut me up

and my legacy

will ooze from my pores

and come to life

in another form.


Everything I am

fuels the jealousy inside

you can’t hide

from your own worthlessness

simply because you refuse

to see your own worth

and elevate yourself

to mountain peek.


Don’t blame me for your misery

as truth hurts.

Do something about it

and change your world.

If not, you will be consumed

by your own inner darkness.


No one truly understands or cares about your problems. They don’t have to. Once you accept this, everything will make sense.


However, there might be one or two people who make the effort in understand you, your problems, your strengths…everything. These people should have a niche in your life.

For so long I didn’t understand what friendships should look like. I acted as if friendships could be with anyone willing to talk to me until they proved to be enemies. Until they did something horrible, they were considered friends before they did anything wonderful. This was the cause of so much hurt and anger.

The problem lies within ourselves. We should know our worth. We don’t deserve just anyone in our lives. We need to wait for people who will prove their love for us on a daily basis. These people will fight for us, care for us, cry with us but help us overcome. These people are our cheerleaders. These people WANT to see every part of us. They won’t allow us to stay in our rut for the sake of “love and friendship” either.

It didn’t make sense until this very moment. It took me YEARS to understand and finally I can articulate what I was feeling. It’s freeing in every way to know that I am on the right path.

In the quest for understanding, you will spend some days alone. Sometimes you will lose people who were never meant to be in your life. Don’t cling, let them go.

People who lie, speak ill of you, belittle you, harass you, DO NOT LOVE YOU. Many of them will claim to love you but deep down you will know. The bible clearly tells us what love looks like. Anyone who puts themselves first does not love. Remember that person who talks excessively about themselves? Yup, no love there. Love isn’t selfish and it doesn’t boast. The person who keeps bringing up your past? Yup, no love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

As you seek the face of God everyday he will continue to show you just what true love looks like. He’s the greatest teacher there is! Trust him, you’ll see.

To The Sick Everywhere

You know being sick sucks. It’s draining, life changing and in many ways damaging. However, lately I’ve been thinking about how we as sick people look at life. Do you sit around moping or do you get up and try to change your world each day at a time? I’ve had people ask me why I’m so happy. I am honestly not quite happy but I do know and accept ( for the most part) that I need to do what I can to change my perception. It’s not about mysticism, it’s not about self- help, it’s about trusting in GOD! YES! Life isn’t easy and some of us are blessed with supportive friends, families and doctors, but honestly, some of us don’t. Sometimes people and life WILL fail us. However, God will never fail us. He is in every way perfect and in every way loving. If it wasn’t for faith a year ago, I wonder where I’d be today. Would I be full of depression, sorrow, no hope for a future? Would I be devastated that In many cases I am unloved even by kin? I know some people reading don’t believe in God and some might but not in Jesus Christ. Let me tell you, Jesus is the only way to true inner peace. He becomes bigger than your problems, your illnesses, your past, and your present. He becomes bigger than the people that hurt you. You start learning how to relax and find peace in his love and mercy. You begin to see the beauty in the new life he has given you. How does this happen? Well, I have to say that being perfect is out of the question. You can’t buy God’s love. You also can’t work for it. However, you will have to give up a lot of things you hold dearly. Those things are pride, hate, anger, bitterness, laziness, addictions. It will be a process! However, don’t worry, Jesus gave us a counselor who is better than any therapist and his name is Holy Spirit. He’s awesome. He’s a very gentle spirit. He won’t leave you to figure it out on your own. Everything you need, he has it. Just ask him.

I am far from perfection. Everyday I am humbled by his love for me. Despite all the bad in my life, I’ve decided to cling to the good. No matter where you find yourself today, give it to Jesus. This isn’t just a message for those who are ill but for those who feel hopeless, rejected, afraid or bound by addictions. There is hope but it’s only found in the messiah.