Monthly Archives: October 2016

A One- Sided Conversation with YOU.

Love is easy. Breathe in, then breathe out. It’s as easy as breathing. One day you just had enough and you silence all the noise in YOUR OWN HEAD..because the noise on the outside doesn’t matter. It’s when you have those loud, obnoxious voices in your own head, embracing all the lies they said.

Tell yourself enough is enough. Tell yourself it’s time to take a stand. Tell yourself you don’t care who is offended, it’s time to clean the slate and surround yourself with new friends….new parents….new siblings…..NEW PEOPLE…

 

People who WILL : never put you down but lift you up. People that know how to laugh and have fun! People who are not self absorbed….there is a give and take going on between the both of you.

Re create your inner circle…your inner world is influenced by your inner circle. People change, so ensure that you clean out your closet every couple of years- if needed. But aim to find people that you do not want to live with out. People that are willing to apologize and right wrongs till the end. Cuz we all know, no one is perfect.

But…at the end of the day…you must be your own very best friend. Stop beating yourself up! Push hard, but it’s okay to say “You did your best.”

Let go of the past, don’t worry about the future and have fun today! Do everything you always wanted to do…do it without any restrictions or waiting for the perfect moment.

 

Stop waiting for that perfect moment, it might never come.

 

Make plans but also take risks! You are in charge of the decisions you make. Not even God controls you like a puppet. He gave you a will! A mind….a free mind…so use it! But also believe that He will steer you on the right path as you go along. Stay true to your convictions. No matter how angry or confused you are….be wise and don’t throw God away. Don’t say ” I don’t need God.” That’s not wise. Only a fool would say that.

But don’t wait. There is no perfect moment. Waiting….life will pass you by and you will look around and wonder why you wasted it.

You don’t need to be rich, or famous, or fit in nicely with societal norm. Just be yourself!

Love is easy. It’s as easy as air. When you love YOU ….love becomes easy. Love doesn’t hurt. Love doesn’t bleed. Love mends…and it heals. Love frees your mind and ignites your soul….with passion yes…but with peace. Peace in knowing that nothing…that people say or do will ever define who you are. And they sure don’t have any control over your future.

Your future is in your hands. What do you choose?

It’s Time To Go Higher!

I woke up recently, feeling a bit disturbed by my own thoughts and what I have allowed in my own life for the last couple of years. I was displeased in myself for seeking and taking advice from people who knew nothing about my situation, who sometimes gave advice simply to make themselves feel better; and I reduced myself to a mere product of society.

I realized that in the quest for worldly success, all true sense is thrown out the window and we become mindless drones. The quest for superficial beauty, tons of money, and all the comforts in life, drowns out what truly matters most.

I’d sway back and forth between my love for God and my love for success and end up no where anyway.

However, the Lord has been gracious to me, and I see tremendous growth in myself. I thank the Lord for this. It was all because of His pursuit for me to return to Him, that I am where I am today.

The true desire of my heart is to worship the Lord with everything I am. To be who I am outside what other people expect of me, to find my own voice and to silence those that wish to dictate who I should me to sedate their own jealousy. Yes, jealousy. It’s an evil disease of the heart that can infect mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, neighbors and enemies. It can spring up in the depths of a person’s soul and takes a whole lot to remove.

It hurt me for a while to even think that I’d have to fight the jealous scorn of people but there is one thing I realized. I realized that reducing yourself to please people, to get them to love you, to make them leave you alone is not the answer. They will always find something to hate. Always find a reason to put you down. It is not your fault. Even if you have no human support, remember that the Lord loves you.

After reading Psalms 119, my heart was soothed by the words of desperation in the hearts of godly men, who found comfort in the Word of God despite persecution. They threw down the quest for money and pleasure and sought the salvation of the Lord : which is His unfailing love. God tells me all the time,¬† ” I love you with an unfailing love.” While people in life will let you down, and we will let ourselves down; we can find comfort and strength in the love of God.

It goes on to say that when your enemies rise up against you, focus on the Word of God or His commandments. Instead of trying to find a solution to everything, these men cried out to God for His help. They believed that God is the one that sorts out conflict and they just cling to him and tell everyone about his law.

The more I tried to defend myself, prove myself or succeed to make my enemies feel ashamed, the worse I felt. It can only get you so far. You become so focused on them that you forget about God and yourself. You forget what truly makes you happy. You forget how to live.

True freedom comes from pursuing God. It doesn’t even come from pursuing passions, relationships or success.

Many people will harshly judge a poor man with a great heart but love a rich man with a filthy heart simply because he is successful. God sees that poor, gentle heart and he will always be with him. That is what I want. The comfort and peace of the Lord. I had to suffer, go through pain and hardship to truly understand what matters most. I had to suffer so I could make a conscious decision to give up all the desires of my heart to be with God. And if he so chooses to bless me with all my desires, once more, I must surrender to the process. I must surrender to Him. I must not try to work it out on my own but to hand it all over to him.

This process of surrender is truly hard. It is hard and many days you feel crazy. People will look at you like you’re a lunatic, just as they did Noah who built an ark, Abraham and Sarah who were old and waiting for their promised child and even Jesus who was accused of many things simply because he defied all what people had expected him to be. People will judge you, call you a child of Satan ( even when you know for a fact you serve God), they will isolate you and speak ill of you to your face. Some will put you down any chance you get or even use you for their own selfish ambition.

I’m going to be real here and say, don’t be dainty in your prayers. God already knows your heart. How many times have I lied to myself, trying to work out the scriptures on my own. Do you really think you can love anyone on your own? No, you need God. The Bible encourages us to pray always. David was blunt about his feelings towards his enemies. When Jesus said pray for your enemies, I don’t think he just meant dainty little prayers. Sometimes we need to be honest and say “God, guess what! I do not like this!” Tell him! Ask him! Cry out to him. Don’t curse your enemies but ask God for strength. Ask God to help you sort out your feelings. You don’t need a therapist or a shrink but the ONE who created you and your enemies. And the greatest thing we are to do for our enemies is to tell them about God. Yes! Keep talking about God and who He is to you. Do not shut up your testimony and do not stop talking about the goodness of God. They will get mad, they might even get violent but never shut up about who God is. Don’t enable your enemies. We live in a world where people are afraid to speak the truth and correct. Did Jesus , when he addressed the jealous religious leaders, hold back the truth from them? Did he just keep silent? No! How can anyone know the truth if we hold it in? Is that what love is nowadays?

The church has watered down what love is suppose to look like. We have become a compromised and laid back sort of people. We are afraid to be like the early church and the prophets of old and proclaim the word of God without fear. I have been guilty of this time to time as well.

I have given up all selfish pursuits in this life. When I looked in the mirror of truth recently, I realized that I lost all sense of normalcy. I didn’t know how to eat like a normal person because I was afraid of gaining weight. I forgot how to have fun because I was determined to overcome every single set back in my life. Stress was an intimate friend of mine and I told God one day that He needed to help me or else I’d be dead in a few years. The answer to stress is easy. Submit to the Lord. Truly submit. The answer does not reside in us…it resides in His presence. It resides in knowing who He is as a real person. We call the Trinity the Persons. Well, God is a person¬† and since He made us in HIS image he has feelings, thoughts and a will like us. It is not natural for me to be dependent on someone, I had to learn dependency through trials, but the more I sought help, the easier life became. We were not created to be a one man or woman band!

My decision is to stop worrying, stop trying to fit everything together like a jig-saw puzzle. Stop over-thinking, stop trying to fix everything and everyone, stop trying to do it all. JUST STOP. Breathe, slow down and then pray. Jesus said do not worry about tomorrow…do not worry about the future because the future has it’s own problems. It’s a day by day process. Everyday! King Solomon was truly wise when He wrote all His words of wisdom down. We want to eat nasty flavorless food in the name of being healthy but the truth is we cannot add another day to our own lives. It is God that determines the course of our lives. But I’ll leave that for another post.

I am on the quest to find understanding! I am on the quest to find wisdom. I am on the quest to find discernment. I am on the quest to find Christ and through Him, see the Father. I know I am up for a challenge of the lifetime because I’ll be fighting Satan, his minions and most of all MYSELF!

No more stretching in areas of life that are wasteful and pointless but to stretch in the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. His word never lies. If I do those things, He will, in His own marvelous way, provide all my needs. It’s time to go higher!

 

There Is No Such Thing As “Spot Reduction”.

Just like many fitness experts claim that we cannot spot reduce through exercise, we cannot spot reduce in the things of God.

I hear and see a lot of women strive for becoming holy and baggage free for a husband, some are chasing after health, and others are chasing after financial stability. Even in things pertaining to the spirit : like love, joy , peace, etc; these things have become a quest. As I was walking home from picking up dinner today, I realize that we cannot spot reduce; we cannot pick and choose which area in our lives we are going to fix. When we have a relationship with God, when we are truly walking with him, he deals with us as a whole person. The more I fought and sought to change myself, the harder it was. Everything we need to be like God is in Christ. It is in the package of our Lord and Savior. It is not a self-help concept. The more I worked, the more tired I became. The more tired I became, the more frustrated I was with God, myself and with people.

Everything we need is in God. It is in talking to him and being close to him. The Holy Spirit does something in us, something we cannot see or pinpoint. It is in that, that we cannot brag or boast that we have it all together! Realization of sins and shortcomings isn’t so that we search scripture, apply principles, and get out of sin. It is to fall on our knees and confess our sins to our God, who loves us and wants us to be close to him and to others. It is total dependency on God. It is total honesty and transparency. When we spot reduce, we run the high risk of becoming self-absorbed and fatigued.

I realized that my love for God was choked out by the issues of life: natural and spiritual. I was focusing on the issues, my condition and my surroundings instead of just resting in God. I told God last night, “God, I am on a quest for true peace and joy”. I knew joy was something I had to step into, “but how?”, I wondered. Well, it’s not positive thinking. It’s not even shunning negative influences or stressors. It’s honestly knowing God! It’s being in his presence. It’s seeing God as a tangible being. When I say tangible, I mean real! We must believe he is truly real. We must believe that he truly loves and hears us. We must believe that his Holy Word is true! The Bible reveals God’s character to us , so we have a foundation when we approach him in prayer. This is what Jesus came to do for us. He came to show us the Father. He came to reveal to us who God truly is and what he is capable of doing in our lives. It truly is a process and a journey but it’s a process and a journey only God can define.

My quest for peace is in a father and daughter relationship with my creator. It’s as simple and easy as that. *smile*