I realized in my anger towards God and the confusion around what He is asking me to do, that it all boils down to a lack of trust. Half submission. I want to know everything, why I’m doing it and if it will benefit me in the end. I become discouraged and frustrated when things do not go my way. I over-calculate and want everything to happen and flow exactly how I planned. Life is not that way. People cannot be controlled. Situations change. Trust requires us to be flexible with the outcome. It requires us to bend. It requires us to be obedient even if we don’t see the fruit of our labor today. We might never see it. Maybe the next generations will. Maybe my prayers for this specific person isn’t for me but for someone else. But I would be doing someone such a lovely thing , praying for someone is the best gift you can give them because God is everything we need and He knows how to meet every need.
When I am so caught up in my own world, how things will benefit me in the end, I allow fear to keep me from expressing true love. Do good, pray for others , even if you get NOTHING out of it! There will always be people that don’t mean us well, dangerous and risky situations…and yes…even people that do love us. We do need to know and recognize who is who, but at the end of the day, if we spend so much time protecting ourselves, we will never have time to love others! To experience true joy! The Bible tells us over and over that God is our strong tower and that He is fighting for us.
I wont willingly run into danger but if danger meets me on my road to Christ, I will stand on His word that He will see me through.
Don’t feel guilty for having doubt, fears or worries, but one thing I you must always do is bring every care to Christ. Tell him what is going on. He is faithful to open your eyes to the truth and that truth will faithfully set you free!
So, I will be obedient to what tells me even if it hurts. God knows why He asks me to do certain things and I can only trust that it will help someone in the end. Not my will but yours be done.