I want to take the time to address something I’ve been going through this week. My aim is to share my thoughts, feelings and the way I want to solve this issue.
I am naturally an ambition person. From since I was a child, I had goals, dreams , aspirations and set out to accomplish them all. Then life hit me. I was sick for a very long time.
I tried everything to get better from changing my diet to seeing different doctors but no one could help me. I was dismissed too. It was a very troubling time for me. My life came to a screeching halt.
This week I was feeling very anxious. I wanted things to change. I was restless again. Seeking any way I could change my reality. However, I had to pause. I had to take a deep breath and analyze my emotions. My feelings are so harsh. Why am I being so harsh on myself? I push myself daily to do things I couldn’t do a few years ago, even a few months ago. I made mistakes along the way but honestly, I should be celebrating the little accomplishments. But I couldn’t because I’m stuck in the future. I had to reel myself back into the present. I had to make up my mind to thank God for where I am today. I am a completely different person: new mindset, new outlook and doing a lot more than I’ve ever thought I could. Yes, it took years to get here, but so what! I should be thanking God for life! I should be thanking God that I can finally walk longer than a block without assistance. No longer throwing up my food. No longer feeling so tired I couldn’t get out of bed. Now, I can take very long walks. I can do light exercise! God revealed to me the food that makes me sick (long but amazing testimony). My skin is glowing. I sleep like a normal person most of the time. Yes, I do have aches and pains…..BUT SO WHAT! When I get so caught up in the future, I must remind myself that slow and steady wins the race. One day I’ll look back at my youth and say…..she never gave up! She obeyed and trusted in God and look at what He’s done!
“Be kind to yourself”, I tell myself. “The whole world is harsh already. God loves you just the way you are. He knows your heart, He sees that you want to soar the clouds so badly, but learn to trust in Him for strength even in the ditch. A wise man said that you learn valuable lessons in the ditch. Lessons and skills that will help you once you reach the sky. Thank God, with a heart of gratitude for all your little accomplishments. You have nothing to prove to anyone but a testimony is being written as you live each day. Clothe yourself with joy and let the peace of God be your compass. The greatest accomplishment you can ever achieve in life is your God given calling and assignment. Everything else is to add a little flavor in between. Whatever God calls you to, He will get you to it. I owe Him my whole life.”
Much love to you all.