I saw someone today that I knew since childhood. We don’t talk and haven’t talked in many many years.
As I smiled at her and answered some of her questions, I felt two feelings in my heart.
- Feeling 1: OMG RUN! She’s going to judge you and your situation. Be embarrassed.
- Feeling 2: What is there to be embarrassed about? Life happens. I am a treasure. A precious flower and loved by God. My struggles are not to be ashamed of but to glorify God.
I decided to go with feeling two and in me rose a confidence and peace that I haven’t had in a long time. You know when you just get tired of feeling sorry for yourself. When you realize that nothing is wrong with you and that your pain and suffering is just part of the journey. While writing this, I have hope that my suffering is coming to an end. No, not my life, but this chapter of suffering and pain is coming to an end. I learned so many lessons along the way. I am not who I use to be, even when I thought I was perfect and amazing. I am finally human. A human with feelings and an ear to hear the Lord.
I can finally smile from my heart because I am no longer concerned about how I will get to the other side. I have my moments of sorrow and despair but I know I can never ever hit rock bottom again.
This time around, I am stronger and wiser. Just like Apostle Paul , I know what it’s like when things are going somewhat well and when times get rough. I know I will survive because of Christ and his Spirit that orders my steps.
That doesn’t mean I’m going volunteer information, just for the sake of blabbering my mouth (rolls eyes). What it does mean, is that at the end of the day my life is not defined by just the good or just the bad but is a collective narrative of MOI.
I am celebrating my life TODAY! I refuse to wait until things seem to be better. Life is a gift and my life is precious. You have to remember that even when things seem to be falling apart, destruction all around and disappointment wants to fill your heart with stone. It is not your burden to carry alone. Everyone has a story and you’d be surprised to hear what they have gone through as well.
YOU ARE A PRECIOUS TREASURE!
Don’t forget. <3