Why Me? Even So, Love Without Fear

Photo by: Ken Treloar on Unsplash.

There will be a point in your life where you ask WHY?! For some of us, we might ask this often.

For the last few months, I was so happy. I was excited for the future. I was enjoying my new found freedom and all the perks that came with it. It was a great period in my life.

Then something happened that was out of my control. It was sudden, it was overwhelming and it left me confused and angry. I did all the right things:  I guarded my heart. I was focused. I kept a distance. I was learning more about myself, I put God first. It was just too perfect. What I didn’t realize was that in my heart, I was already making my own plans.

I had this notion that everything would work out the way I envisioned. I had it all planned out, I was prepared. I thought I could control everything! Big lie.

Now what? I asked God, “why is this happening to me”. “What does this all mean”? In the past, it was easy : just run away. Pretend it doesn’t exist. Throw dirt, pack it down and bury it for good.

Sadly, this time I can’t. It’s staring at me, challenging me to look at it fully and to extend myself in ways I didn’t know was possible for me.

It made me come to a full stop and peer into a mirror. A mirror that allows me to see the true desires of my heart that I hid for so long.

I asked God ” Is this something I can have”? I never thought this could be for me. I thought it was for everyone else but me.

I came up with every excuse as to why it wasn’t for me. Why it wouldn’t work. I felt comfortable in my fear. I felt comfy in never being brave and diving into a world that was uncertain and yet full of light.

Love without fear. Love without expectations.

It sounds so silly and odd but the Bible commands us to love. That true love drives out all fear. Love is brave and selfless. Love is not easy. It’s not the easiest path to take.

The hardest part is knowing that no matter what happens that I am already loved and that my love matters.

Dear one, your love matters.

Someone will cling to even the smallest acts of love from you. Your love matters.

From a small encouraging word to grand acts of sacrifice, love matters and we all need each other.

Embrace all that God wants to bless you with. It is not always money, a job or even health. It might just be as simple and as profound as love.

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