After the Lord healed me from a chronic illness this year, I watched him order my steps even when I was confused or missed the mark. I had come to understand his love and concern for me.
I took a leap of faith and took tiny steps towards where I am today. I actually never imagined I would end up here. I was going in one direction and God lead me to another.
I had great setbacks and distractions. From health scares, to emotional and mental fatigue, I had to learn how to pray. I had to learn how to be led by the Holy Spirit. I had to trust daily in supernatural provision and health.
I found that it was easy to trust God in those times. My faith was soaring.
I was excited to see what else God could do.
However, there are parts of us that we hide from God. God knows our hearts, he knows everything, but there are parts of us that we do not want God to see. We don’t want God to touch us there because it hurts.
I knew I was in the process of deliverance. I knew it deeply and with a certainty. As much I tried my best to avoid it, it still happened. Everything in my heart came flooding out.
When God wants to heal you, you must first confess everything. You must be honest and open with HIM.
I was forced to look in a mirror. A mirror that I had broken. However, God fixed it and placed it right in front of me.
He told me I could have it. That very thing I didn’t want to face. He said that I didn’t need anyone’s permission but his. He said that he understands me and that he is a loving father that gives us good things when we ask HIM.
My faith wavered. In my anger I wondered why this even had to happen. I had a preconceived idea of how my life should look. I keep falling into this trap of thinking I know what is best for me. For hiding away my concerns and dreams from God.
I didn’t know I wanted this but it was seeping into my life in many unhealthy ways.
I truly believe that once we are open and honest and don’t feel ashamed of what we need, God will begin to prepare us for what we asked HIM for.
I am writing this on whim, and I am pouring out my heart to you in sincere honesty.
My hope is that you too can trust God with your heart. That you will open up to him and share with him ALL of what is inside of you, knowing that he is a good father that gives his children good gifts. Honoring his sovereignty, knowing he is all-knowing and in control.
He orders our steps, truly. I may not completely understand where He is taking me but I know he won’t lead me to destruction.