Tag Archives: Authenticity

What Do You Want?

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

This is an on whim post.

I am not only sharing this but it’s documentation for future reference. I will save this in the bin of things to read after a year or two.

This weekend was stressful. I haven’t had to deal with this issue in a long time and it was quite a shock for me to deal with it once again. You know when you get tired of dealing with an issue for years but feel trapped? You’ve tried everything possible but nothing works.

I’m going to be real and raw : when you pray to God and ask for help and he gives you 1 million encouraging words like : peace and hold on and go forth and be strong, only for you to stare that same problem in the face.

You’ve tried everything, nothing works. You reach out for help but people don’t care, don’t understand. They leave you there to figure it out on your own but wonder why you don’t want anything to do with them.

We live in a world where people are cruel. People don’t care about you until you’re dead. Then they will say, I wish I knew or I wish I had done something to prevent this from happening. But all the while, you had asked them for help but they didn’t care to help.

So one day, I was fed up and took a leap of faith. Where I am today was because of my own hard work, vision and faith in God.

I have made peace with the fact that people don’t care and are cruel. These people will try to kill your dreams. They will open their mouths and use their words to kill you. If you are in a broken place, they will succeed. The only way to protect yourself in a broken place is to have selective hearing.

YOU MUST SHUN AT ALL COST anything negative being spoken to you. It’s not anything  mystical, it’s a simple fact that your ears are a gateway to your heart. Your eyes and ears are gateways to your heart. Your mouth is the exit of your heart. So those people are speaking from what is in their hearts. But if you listen and observe what they are saying, they can begin to shape and mold you.

You must NOT allow anyone to plant that seed in your heart. Everything you become starts from your heart. This is why the Bible warns us about guarding our hearts.

The greatest way to silence your enemies is to continue living your life as if their words have no weight. Your mere presence is a threat to them and that’s their battle to fight.

So I ask, ” what do you want? What makes you happy?” Do what YOU want without apology. If it’s wrong, God will make it right. If it’s too far left, God will push it a little more to the left. Let GOD mold you, not people. Don’t you ever do anything simply because people say so, but because you know in your heart it’s the right thing to do. Everyone is living their lives, including those trying to dictate yours.

The greatest thing you could ever do is accept yourself as you are.

The way you are is perfect and God can use you as you are right now. Perfectionism is a sham. It’s just there to keep you crippled in an infinite loop of madness,  unlike the line of progression of authenticity.

Being authentic comes with a price: you will have people that love you and those that hate you. At first it might seem as if everyone hates you but there will be those that will identify you and admire you. The beauty of it is that when you were trying to please people and remain unnoticed by fitting in, people still hated you. But now  you know who loves you as the real you.

Everyone goes through this. The journey between childhood and adulthood is a turbulent one. It is an uncertain phase and you must learn to shift out what you have been taught with what is truth. Not everything taught is truth.

Who do you want to be? I stopped asking God what I should do with my life. You will either know from youth or walk into it as you live. Most of us walk into it. God doesn’t reveal things at once. If so, then we wouldn’t need him and life would be predicable. What would we learn? For those that already know, only know so much.

Life is like jumping in the dark. You can’t see beyond eye view and sometimes you can’t see at all. You must take jumps: some small and some big. Where you land, the floor tiles light up, enabling you to see. As you keep jumping,3 you are able to see what was behind you and from eye view, what’s around you. If you refuse to jump, you won’t be able to see or make progress.

We also jump in our own ways. Some of us only have one leg. Some of us have a crutch. Others have both legs. Some of us are taller and some shorter. Others of us are heavier and some lighter. The way we jump and how we land are influenced by these factors. People might say one way is better than the other but that’s not true. God made you as you are and even if it was from life’s circumstances, this is who you are. The way you jump and land is YOUR STORY and it’s a unique one. It’s YOURS. Striving for the unknown, best jump is not only ignorant but a waste of time. We shouldn’t strive to have the same story but to find ways to share our own unique stories. We will find our people. We will find common ground with those that jump differently but we are all here to motivate and encourage one another to jump.

When we bicker and fight we stop jumping. Then our world becomes dark and we can only see what’s behind us.

This year I’ve thrown down the veil of perfectionism and take up the mantle of faith.

I will walk as I am, talk as I am and live as I am. I will keep jumping and leaping and landing. I will let my leaps paint a picture of light around me.

With faith, no one can crush you. With faith, no one can take away your dreams or your joy. With faith, hope follows and with hope there is peace.

The bible says do not fear EVIL people with their wicked schemes.

Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Psalm 37:7 NLT

Just keep leaping and landing and one day you’ll find yourself where you need to be. The Lord is faithful to guide our imperfect steps. He is God and we are not. Accept who you are and cling tightly to the one who has the power to save you.

 

 

Never Thirst Again!

Photo by: Qang Jaka on Unsplash.

During my time in worship, I was led to read John 4 starting from verse 4 – the story of the Samaritan woman at the well.

How many of us use people, things, everything and anything to fill up the void in our hearts? In essence, humans were made to worship. We were created for that. However, Jesus points out to us the kind of worship he is looking for, reading from the MSG translation:

(background verses) 21-23 “Believe me, woman, the time is coming when you Samaritans will worship the Father neither here at this mountain nor there in Jerusalem. You worship guessing in the dark; we Jews worship in the clear light of day. God’s way of salvation is made available through the Jews. But the time is coming—it has, in fact, come—when what you’re called will not matter and where you go to worship will not matter.

23-24 “It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.”

The Samaritan woman had 5 husbands and currently living with a man she wasn’t married to. Sounds familiar? Sounds exactly like our world today. It’s a small section of the passage but it is very important.

Jesus presented himself as the cure to her sin. He didn’t condemn her, he simply implied: drink from my well and you will never have to settle for anything that is not good for you.

Like I mentioned in all my previous posts, don’t hide from God like Adam and Eve in the garden! Run and fall down before God and pour out your whole heart, everything to him. He is not judging you. He already knows! The Samaritan woman thought Jesus was a prophet because he knew she had 5 husbands and living with a man. Point proven, God knows ALL.

Go to him believing He is the solution and cure for all your deficiencies! You don’t need to go to a church building, or a temple. If you look for him, you will find him right where you are.

Let him quench your thirst forever. Drink from the well of his Spirit. He is the source of life. He IS LIFE. He came to give us LIFE.

Be free to be yourself. You do not have to play church, know church doctrine, know every bible verse. Be free! Just have an open heart before JESUS.

God is truly intentional. In my time of waiting on him, he gave me the answer I was looking for. God is in the business of healing deep wounds. He has his timing but when he is ready, he doesn’t care what you are doing and where you are. He will bring it all up to the surface. He will shine his operation light on all of your wounds and disease. He will draw them out with his loving power. He will give you a new heart …look here…

Ezekiel 36:26-28(MSG)

24-28 “‘For here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to take you out of these countries, gather you from all over, and bring you back to your own land. I’ll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed. I’ll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. You’ll once again live in the land I gave your ancestors. You’ll be my people! I’ll be your God!

Jesus fulfilled the words of the prophets of old. Jesus is the word, every word from the prophets were fulfilled in the person of Christ. Find him and you will find life.

Be Well,

Being Honest with God

Photo by: Jon Flobrant on Unsplash.

After the Lord healed me from a chronic illness this year, I watched him order my steps even when I was confused or missed the mark. I had come to understand his love and concern for me.

I took a leap of faith and took tiny steps towards where I am today. I actually never imagined I would end up here. I was going in one direction and God lead me to another.

I had great setbacks and distractions. From health scares, to emotional and mental fatigue, I had to learn how to pray. I had to learn how to be led by the Holy Spirit. I had to trust daily in supernatural provision and health.

I found that it was easy to trust God in those times. My faith was soaring.

I was excited to see what else God could do.

However, there are parts of us that we hide from God. God knows our hearts, he knows everything, but there are parts of us that we do not want God to see. We don’t want God to touch us there because it hurts.

I knew I was in the process of deliverance. I knew it deeply and with a certainty. As much I tried my best to avoid it, it still happened. Everything in my heart came flooding out.

When God wants to heal you, you must first confess everything. You must be honest and open with HIM.

I was forced to look in a mirror. A mirror that I had broken. However, God fixed it and placed it right in front of me.

He told me I could have it. That very thing I didn’t want to face. He said that I didn’t need anyone’s permission but his. He said that he understands me and that he is a loving father that gives us good things when we ask HIM.

My faith wavered. In my anger I wondered why this even had to happen. I had a preconceived idea of how my life should look. I keep falling into this trap of thinking I know what is best for me. For hiding away my concerns and dreams from God.

I didn’t know I wanted this but it was seeping into my life in many unhealthy ways.

I truly believe that once we are open and honest and don’t feel ashamed of what we need, God will begin to prepare us for what we asked HIM for.

I am writing this on whim, and I am pouring out my heart to you in sincere honesty.

My hope is that you too can trust God with your heart. That you will open up to him and share with him ALL of what is inside of you, knowing that he is a good father that gives his children good gifts. Honoring his sovereignty, knowing he is all-knowing and in control.

He orders our steps, truly. I may not completely understand where He is taking me but I know he won’t lead me to destruction.

 

With love,

Just A Thought…

People see the outward part of us. What we show to the world, but God sees the inner man. The places in our heart, mind, soul and spirit that even we cannot see. Unlike man that loves a performance and a show, God looks at the heart. He looks at the source. He sees the hidden things and if we allow Him, He can clean every nook and cranny until we are spotless.

I believe this is why God said do not focus on pleasing people. People usually do not care what’s on the inside, they just like seeing pretty things. They like to be entertained. If you try to please everyone, you will not only burn yourself out, but lose yourself in the process.

This ties into being who you were created to be. You were born special and unique. There is no competition in God’s kingdom. Moses was not like Joseph and both of them were not like David or Daniel but God used all of them and loved them all. The one thing they had in common was their love for God but their temperaments, life story and callings/ministries were different. We are one body with many parts. All parts are necessary and important for healthy function. So don’t compete. Don’t compare. Be free and be YOU and love God with all your heart because he saved you from the competition and stress of the world.

Here is a quote I came up with in the quietness of my own thoughts :

“The me of today can only do what I can do at this present time. And, I cannot do today, what I can do tomorrow. But, if I keep doing today what I can do for now, I know I’ll get better in time for tomorrow.”

Tomorrow is dependent on God. He forms the new day, calling it into existence. He keeps the world functioning as it should. He cares about the intimate details of our lives and so all progress in our lives rest in his hands. There is something different about the Kingdom of Heaven that is different than the system of this world. We use to rely on our own ideologies and our own will and strength but those things can crumble and fade away through the pressures of life and even in the face of death. But there is something supernatural about the system of heaven. It’s more about dependence on God. A faith that is reliant on God’s power, wisdom and knowledge but not our own.

I had a realization that unless we allow God to empty us, and refill us with Himself, we will never become who we were created to be, reaching our full potential. We will always be putting on a show. A source of entertainment for people to enjoy and feel comfortable, but true change is uncomfortable, forcing people to see beyond themselves and into the Light of Christ.