Tag Archives: Bullies

Jealousy: That Toxic Infection of The Heart.

Jealousy is a sneaky but dangerous infection of the heart. It is rooted in insecurity. I was going to write about people who struggle with jealousy and insecurity but I want to focus on those that are on the receiving end.

Being the recipient of jealous actions is toxic and slowly, but surely, it has the power to destroy you. It has the power to make you feel small, to doubt yourself. It backs you up in a corner. It makes you question yourself on many occasions, wondering if something is wrong with you.

I want to tell you a secret. Well, it’s not really a secret but let me remind you that who you are is not defined by anyone else. Continue to shine, live, laugh and have fun! Continue to strive and grow and chase after everything you wanted in life.

Some of these jealous people will smile in your face, give you gifts and even pretend they are kind. But you can tell, deep down, that something isn’t right. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. Do not allow anyone to reduce you or bully you into submission. Stand your ground and say enough is enough. You don’t have to be rude about it but speak your truth!

People will try to dismiss you. They will say, “she doesn’t know what she’s talking about” or,” She’s sensitive”, or ” who cares and ignore it”. And while I do believe that ignoring petty foolishness is the key to success and happiness in life, there are some things that will require you to address it in a mature way. When people know the lines and boundaries they cannot cross, it let’s them know that their jealous tendencies cannot infect you. Your boundaries are like immunity. It is a wall of protection from behaviors and comments that are meant to keep you in a position that will feed their infection.

They will hate you, talk bad about you ( I always say if its not to my face then it’s none of my business) and show disdain at your success and accomplishments but leave them in God’s hands.

God said vengeance is His job. God doesn’t like jealousy, pride and bullying (oppression) and God has a way of either convicting someone’s heart or silencing them all together.

 

 

 

Holiness: Celebrating our Uniqueness in Christ.

From the moment we give our life to Christ and make him Lord of our lives, we are marked and every demon is on the attack. I knew this, but there were so many times when I was complacent because I couldn’t see demons or the kingdom of darkness.

Not to mention when one becomes complacent in their walk with God, Satan makes every opportunity to use our weakness to turn against God. We are naturally weak and defenseless against the attacks of Satan. It is only through Christ that we have power.

Over the course of a year or so, I was constantly hearing in my spirit to be still and  silent. God will move but you must be silent.  Did I listen? Nope. I found it necessary to speak  because it’s natural to defend. What do I have to prove? What can I do in my own strength to change anyone or their opinions of me? How is that going to make me feel better?

As a child my way of surviving was to stand up for myself and prove how strong I was. To this day, I struggle with that mindset. The biblical way to stand up to a bully is through love, submission and if all doesn’t work, removing oneself silently to avoid conflict. Too often I forget that this struggle is not with people but with the devil himself.

Too often the devil will use whatever means to get us to feel unworthy of God’s love, unable to act in God’s love, and to run away in defeat.  Too often the feeling of loneliness, not fitting in, being persecuted in various ways will wear us down when we lose sight of Christ.

Some of us respond by withdrawing, others in depression, some by backsliding in order to fit in ,  even others compromise to avoid conflict. I can personally say I’ve done all of those things. None of them fixed the problem. The feeling of emptiness is consuming. It’s an endless cycle of defeat. It’s only when I fall on my face and just worship Christ that I find purpose, healing and peace. Our whole lives are to be spent in worship. From the time we wake up to the time we sleep. From our choices, our group of friends, what we discuss, what we listen to, how we dress and how we react.

I realize now that this is not about winning, this isn’t about proving, this isn’t about perfection, it’s not about works but faith. Faith displayed in praise. My prayer for those reading is to continue walking in Christ, do not give up on praise. Do not give up on worship. Fight with the means of the Word of God, Prayer and spending time with God. Pray always. Never cease. Pray for each other as Paul commanded in his letters.

When you are lost and don’t know what to do, stand still. When you are being pushed to the limit, keep silent. When you feel hopeless keep singing. When you are sad look to the gospel. Don’t wait until something horrible happens to slap you into shape. But know that if that correction comes, it is for your own good.

You hear so often that “she was a good person” and ” he would do anything for anyone”, therefore, they must be with God. On the contrary, it is only those that trust and believe in Christ will be with him. We are different and unique not because of how good we are but because of how good He is, because of how righteous and holy and merciful he is. Simply because he is God.

So let’s celebrate.

Standing Up To a Bully

I am not a child. I haven’t been a child for a long time now, but I still deal with a big bad bully ( well this person thinks he/she is big and bad) who always waits out to catch me doing something he/she doesn’t like.

I said the most powerful words I think I’ve ever said: ” There is nothing you can do that will take away my Joy. You can try and try, but I am happy and content with my life.” 

I think this was more for me than for this person. I use to let this person terrorize my life. I use to get angry and flustered every time this person bothered me. I would cry and wonder why this person is in my life.

However, this statement made me realize that the joy of God exceeds ALL circumstances. Not only financial or health circumstances but ALL circumstances. A  joy that helps me focus on what’s more important : being proactive.

Self pity, depression, anything and everything JUST because of someone else is giving them power over you.

Neither do you stoop to a bully’s mentally. Remember you are a Child of God and he/she is as well.

This is something God is showing me and for many years I was bullied by all kinds of people.

Stand up to your bully with grace, class and a confidence that only comes from Christ. No one has the right to take away what God has given you, but if you sit back and allow them to take it away, you will have no one to blame but yourself.