Tag Archives: Church

Ya Bettah Know Who You Be!

OH MY GOODNESS!

Let me tell you something guys!

Let me warn you! If you don’t know who you are and what you want in this world, people will dictate it for you!

I know what I want is typically unusual and I sometimes act really quirky and odd, but I embrace who I am!

If you have a title or a position in church, please, I beg of you to be careful of what you pray over people. I leave every time feeling misunderstood and alone. No one gets me. They assume everything about me but no one ever sat down to talk with me and get to know me and why I’m there. It was then, that I realize that some churches are not what they are suppose to be.

I left feeling horrible, not uplifted. No one came to ask me how I felt or if I wanted to talk. They just left me there.

My walk with God is lonely.  No one cares to hear my story. No one cares to listen. So, I bottle it all up inside. It wasn’t until a few moments ago that I realized something powerful. Every time someone tries to put me down or tell me who I am, that is when I know I’m on the right track. Every time that happens, something good comes out of their negative words.

We are to uplift not tear down.

I held on to every single dream I had in my heart. I told some people and they tried to discourage me or tell me why I can’t do it.  I’ve been misjudged by those I cared about. They choose not to love and encourage me but to kick me when I was down. This came from various people, whether in church or not.

The greatest thing I have is my faith and integrity. Without these two things, I am nothing.

Faith doesn’t equate perfection. I will tell you I had my moments of doubt. I had my moments where I wanted to die and give up. Life was just too unbearable. Suffering is inevitable.

But this time around, despite my nonsense, despite the pain, I held on to God. I was angry with Him, but I didn’t run away from Him. I stood still in my anger and raged through it. I experienced every single feeling: from anger to hopelessness to despair.

I can honestly say that today, I feel a lot better. It happened through a small prayer in bed before I fell asleep. I admitted that I was wrong and I simply said I will no longer fear anything.

It was that simple. I mean seriously, it was just that simple. I do not know what tomorrow will bring, in terms of my mood, but I will take it a day at a time.

The Christian walk is marked by ups and downs. I decided not to hold on to the guilt of missing the mark but to embrace the grace that Christ had died for. I admitted I was wrong and that I needed Christ Daily.

I also found an article that reminded me just how important spiritual discipline is. I became overwhelmed with trying to better my life, but everything flows from my spiritual health. Not physical, mental or emotional health but my SPIRITUAL HEALTH. Everything flows from God.

He gives us wisdom and understanding. He directs where we go and influences the decisions we make. He sets things in order, behind the scenes. He ordains our future and destiny.

Without Him, our efforts are empty. Personally, without Him I can’t even survive. Literally, God has become the very essence of my well-being. I don’t feel healthy without Him. I begin to wither and die like a plant.

The source of my joy is right relationship with Him. My heart became dirty with disappointment and fear. I was too busy to read the bible, pray or even worship through song. God was literally squeezed out of my life because I had too much going on.

I also blamed Him for certain things in my life, instead of trusting that all things will work together for my good.

Despite all of my failures, God has kept me and given me peace this day. It took a bad situation for me to see the truth. I must always remind myself of  who God is and what I know about myself.

I will never be loud or arrogant to prove anything to anyone. I will quietly leave my mark on this earth. I want to be known as the Woman that loved God and walked with Him. For in my weaknesses, He is gloried and in my victories, He is declared King.

Those that love you, will seek to understand you. As Christians, we are called to love one another. That means to truly get to know those we are serving and in fellowship with. Not judging them, putting them in a box and then tossing them aside to move on. Truly connect with people and help them where they are.

 

That is all for now,

 

Finding Joy In Seperation

I am throwing down the plans for my own life. There has been a great conviction since the beginning to obey. And so finally after 5 months, I obeyed.

My heart is heavy. I am holding back tears. I thought that every time we do something for God we should experience joy and a fiery passion but right now I’m feeling pain and sorrow. I feel like I’ve lost something precious to me.

The pastor on Friday confirmed what I had prayed about. It was an indirect message but I felt it deep in my heart. That we shouldn’t cling to anything in this life. No matter how good it may seem, whether it’s a job , a person or a situation, If God says no, it means no.

I’ve always wanted to be obedient. However, my prayer for today is to accept God’s leading with joy, not sorrow.

Something I must share.

This is a random post. Random and unedited.

As a christian who struggles daily and fails daily, at times I wonder if I could have support from a church that loves and serves God in Spirit and truth. Sadly, I haven’t been to church in the last few years because their sermons and how they present themselves do not line up with the Word of God. I know no one is perfect, none of us are but we should not make light our sins, and the sins of the world. We should not laugh or joke about sin. We should not make references to sin. We should not celebrate sin. We should run from it at all cost. When we fall, we should find it in ourselves to get up and cling to Christ. We should also help each other to serve God better. We should do so in love. We should not be afraid to stand up for what is right. I’m so sick and tired of seeing wishy washy Christians. No, not the ones who struggle with sin but those that CONDONE sin. There is a big difference.

I learned the difference recently. I use to live in condemnation because I thought I was suppose to be perfect. However You can tell alot about a person based on what they say and their attitude. If anyone were to ask me, I’d admit that I am someone who struggles with doing the right thing. I struggle to read my bible and pray. I struggle because I focus on the wrong thing. I focus more on my works than on Jesus. This is my personal struggle. However, lately I’ve noticed that the body of christ justifies sin. There is no remorse, repentance nothing. It’s a free for all, all is right kind of church. We judge those who try to do the right thing and praise and exalt all who live in sin with joy.

I remember the day I got saved. I prayed to God because I knew that he was the source of all good. I knew his word to be true. I knew that I was fallen and sinful. I knew that my disobedience was because i didn’t have God in my life. I knew I needed him. To this day the struggle is REAL. Being a christian isn’t easy. We struggle with our flesh daily. Sometimes we fall. We go through dry seasons where we lack joy and peace. We cry. However, We TRY.

Being a christian isn’t about perfection it’s about repentance and grace. It’s about humility and love. I’m tired of the church. I’m tired of seeing the church condone what is wrong. Why are we so caught up with what the world thinks about us? Then I realized that the church is also full of sinners. The body of Christ is made up of believers but the building can house non-believers and the saved. We are known by our fruits. So, I decided never to argue about religion. When people curse you for believing in God, just bless them and go on your way. When they call you hypocrite, go on your way. Focus on Jesus not your sins. Focus on getting back up after a fall. Focus on love. Focus on forgiveness. Let God show you exactly what you should be doing with your skills and talents. Don’t let the church fool you. We have alot of false prophets floating around preaching a wishy-washy gospel. I love the life changing gospel of Christ. Christ who came to forgive and his spirit that exposes truth.

I apologize for my unedited ramble but I’m very sure the things I’ve seen was to bring me to my own repentance and to see the truth within myself. I don’t ever want to be the person who condones sin. I don’t ever want to glorify satan with my life. The struggle is real.

This is my prayer, the the church will rise up and stand for what is right in love. I pray for all my sisters and brothers in Christ who struggle daily with sin. I pray for Christians around the world who are persecuted because of their love for God. I pray for those who are seeking Jesus and that they may find him soon. I pray for those that are hurting, may you find peace in Jesus. I pray for myself, that my life and my struggles in the end give God the glory. Let my words and my life and my attitude align with the Word of God. In Jesus Name, Amen.

 

The struggle is real but God is in control.