Tag Archives: Confidence

How To Survive In This World As An Introvert



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Introverts are labelled many things: stupid, antisocial, cold, rude, stuck up etc. Sadly, this only reveals the insecurity of the people making these judgments.

No one is the same. We are not born with the same temperaments. Some people are loud, in your face and full of energy. They love people and conversation, some can talk for hours and feel amazing.

Then there are introverts. No, we are not always shy, no we are not rude or even hate humans. We simply love quiet, being quiet and having short and straight forward conversations.


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Some of us need to get to know you first before opening up, so give us time to do so. Personally, it takes me years before I consider someone a friend or someone I can trust. If I am pressured to trust and open up before I am ready, best believe I will withdraw or never speak to you again. Give people room to make decisions for themselves. Sadly, I believe a lot of people look for validation from others. So, if an introvert doesn’t give them the attention they seek, they feel…less than.

Everyone wants to be a motivational speaker these days. It’s quite infuriating, honestly. I don’t mind others wanting to do it, but I surely do not. And I’m quite sure, there are others that feel the same. They will force you, shame you and nag you into public speaking, as if your worth and future depends on it. Give people the freedom to choose their own path and their own lives without the guilt trip. That’s right, saying someone isn’t going to make it in life because they don’t live up to your standards is controlling.


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It takes a lot of strength, as in introvert to say ‘NO’. We are shamed everyday for being who we are. We are not allowed to shine in our strengths but forced to change, to see ourselves as faulty. I believe true strength is quiet, sometimes. It takes strength to be different, to quietly assert your confidence in a way that is unseen. To be so secure in yourself that you do not need the validation of others, you do not need the company of others to define your worth or your future.

I had to learn how to speak up for my needs. I had to learn how to enforce boundaries and make it clear that I’m not changing and I’m not doing anything I am uncomfortable with or don’t believe in.


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We need all kinds of people to function and strive in this world. Introverts have a great role to play. If you are a manager of a company, a teacher, a spiritual leader, a parent, or anyone in position of authority, please do not change or shame the introverts you lead. Be observant and you will begin to see a whole list of traits and skills that these wonderful introverts can add to your company, etc.

Introverts carry many valuable soft skills that are often overlooked and needed in a company. Some include : analytical skills, attention to detail, excellent written communication, patience under pressure, and the ability to work and stay focused. It does differ from person-to-person, but this is just to give you a general idea of what to look for.

A great leader observes a person as an individual with their own skill sets, not someone to mold into their image.


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My hope is that this will bring some awareness to those that have an ear to hear, but also a source of comfort and encouragement to fellow introverts, who feel as if they are not allowed to be themselves, completely. I’m here to tell you, that while it will be a life long battle, you hold the power in your hands. ‘NO’, is a powerful word – use it to enforce your boundaries. Trust me, you will feel so much better that you did.


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Just Be Yourself – Literally

Microphone with blurred background

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This week was full of anxiety. I cried so much over the weekend, and during the week, I was too scared to think clearly. The week went by in a blur and it wasn’t until today that I found many lessons – and a major one worth writing about.

You see, I am not a speaker. I’ve had the whole world and their momma (haha) tell me that I’m a speaker. Where I work, I am sometimes asked to speak and instruct. It’s nerve wrecking and it brings me great anxiety. I have tried, all my life to overcome this but it has only gotten worse as I got older.

Sitting Woman in sweater, holding her head and a mug on a table in front of her.

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It hit me in the face, today, that I’m being someone I’m not. Well, I’m being pressured. People will say : “if you don’t overcome public speaking fears you will never succeed.” , “You are a coward.” “You can adapt and change.” “You have low-self confidence.”

I realize this is peer pressure dressed up in a fancy package called motivation. It demoralizes a person. Makes them feel less than and sub par for not meeting expectations. Watching the “I look down on you” expressions from people that want you to live up to their standards.

Group with hands in middle

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Where they (and I for a short while) saw mistakes and failure, was where I saw strength and character. First off, congrats to me for even doing it. However, I realized my own strengths. I have the ability to break down hard concepts into simple and easy to understand examples. I can relate to people who are a bit slower than the rest and provide encouragement and a safe place for them to learn. I use my mistakes to help others avoid the same pitfalls. I also like brain storming with people – giving us all an equal footing , instead of me just lecturing and teaching something.

I was so focused on being like them, instead of being me and I refuse to do that ever again. I may not know everything – and I am honest about it – and I may not be the most eloquent speaker but I don’t need to be.

Never again will I allow anyone or anything pressure me to perform. Never will I be anything other than who I am. God made me the way I am and I will not change myself to fit in, be liked, or to succeed. There are skills and traits that I will develop over time, but public speaking just isn’t one of them.

I will succeed either way because I believe I will, not because other people say so. Remember, you must believe in yourself even if the world doesn’t. You must stand firm in your beliefs and identity even if the world rejects you. You don’t have to change to fit in. I don’t need anyone’s approval, nor do I need to speak unless I have something important to say.

I thought becoming myself was improving each part , piece by piece. But it was finding a hidden wholeness seeing the fractures as the design. - Brianna Wiest

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I hope this message is clear: introverts , quiet people, don’t you dare change who you are for anyone! You were created this way for a reason. If everyone is the same, who will be different? It was all the quirky people that left a real mark in this world. Not everyone will do the same things and in the same way and in the same order.

Don’t let the world, or the church, family or friends pressure you to be someone you are not. You will feel like an impostor, you will feel anxious and afraid and you will most definitely NOT feel confident. There are many ways to take risks, many avenues and paths to venture. Don’t be forced to do anything but do everything out of love.

Be yourself, literally and don’t compromise!

Until next time,

I Am Simply Me

I have learned, in my short time on this earth, that I am not responsible for anyone but myself. I am not my race, I am not my country, I am not even the people within my faith. I am me and I can only do what I can to ensure that I do the right thing. People will continue to label me due to the fact that I am a black woman. I can do everything in my power to overcome stereotypes but at the end of the day that will not change anything. Despite that, I will continue to be who I am and stay true to higher values. I will not try to overcome stereotypes, nor will I internalize hatred from other races and even my own. Be strong, respectful and full of love. Celebrate who you are and continue to strive for excellence. Either they will judge you based on your character or they will choose to judge otherwise. That’s their business.