Tag Archives: Daily

Ya Bettah Know Who You Be!

OH MY GOODNESS!

Let me tell you something guys!

Let me warn you! If you don’t know who you are and what you want in this world, people will dictate it for you!

I know what I want is typically unusual and I sometimes act really quirky and odd, but I embrace who I am!

If you have a title or a position in church, please, I beg of you to be careful of what you pray over people. I leave every time feeling misunderstood and alone. No one gets me. They assume everything about me but no one ever sat down to talk with me and get to know me and why I’m there. It was then, that I realize that some churches are not what they are suppose to be.

I left feeling horrible, not uplifted. No one came to ask me how I felt or if I wanted to talk. They just left me there.

My walk with God is lonely.  No one cares to hear my story. No one cares to listen. So, I bottle it all up inside. It wasn’t until a few moments ago that I realized something powerful. Every time someone tries to put me down or tell me who I am, that is when I know I’m on the right track. Every time that happens, something good comes out of their negative words.

We are to uplift not tear down.

I held on to every single dream I had in my heart. I told some people and they tried to discourage me or tell me why I can’t do it.  I’ve been misjudged by those I cared about. They choose not to love and encourage me but to kick me when I was down. This came from various people, whether in church or not.

The greatest thing I have is my faith and integrity. Without these two things, I am nothing.

Faith doesn’t equate perfection. I will tell you I had my moments of doubt. I had my moments where I wanted to die and give up. Life was just too unbearable. Suffering is inevitable.

But this time around, despite my nonsense, despite the pain, I held on to God. I was angry with Him, but I didn’t run away from Him. I stood still in my anger and raged through it. I experienced every single feeling: from anger to hopelessness to despair.

I can honestly say that today, I feel a lot better. It happened through a small prayer in bed before I fell asleep. I admitted that I was wrong and I simply said I will no longer fear anything.

It was that simple. I mean seriously, it was just that simple. I do not know what tomorrow will bring, in terms of my mood, but I will take it a day at a time.

The Christian walk is marked by ups and downs. I decided not to hold on to the guilt of missing the mark but to embrace the grace that Christ had died for. I admitted I was wrong and that I needed Christ Daily.

I also found an article that reminded me just how important spiritual discipline is. I became overwhelmed with trying to better my life, but everything flows from my spiritual health. Not physical, mental or emotional health but my SPIRITUAL HEALTH. Everything flows from God.

He gives us wisdom and understanding. He directs where we go and influences the decisions we make. He sets things in order, behind the scenes. He ordains our future and destiny.

Without Him, our efforts are empty. Personally, without Him I can’t even survive. Literally, God has become the very essence of my well-being. I don’t feel healthy without Him. I begin to wither and die like a plant.

The source of my joy is right relationship with Him. My heart became dirty with disappointment and fear. I was too busy to read the bible, pray or even worship through song. God was literally squeezed out of my life because I had too much going on.

I also blamed Him for certain things in my life, instead of trusting that all things will work together for my good.

Despite all of my failures, God has kept me and given me peace this day. It took a bad situation for me to see the truth. I must always remind myself of  who God is and what I know about myself.

I will never be loud or arrogant to prove anything to anyone. I will quietly leave my mark on this earth. I want to be known as the Woman that loved God and walked with Him. For in my weaknesses, He is gloried and in my victories, He is declared King.

Those that love you, will seek to understand you. As Christians, we are called to love one another. That means to truly get to know those we are serving and in fellowship with. Not judging them, putting them in a box and then tossing them aside to move on. Truly connect with people and help them where they are.

 

That is all for now,

 

3/25/2017

Its time for a joy post! YAY!

  • This morning I had a delicious breakfast: my new found love – well done sunny side up eggs with basil, cheese and spinach. Gluten free garlic toast and some turkey bacon. I washed it all down with hot “tonic” water. Y’all might wonder why breakfast and food means so much to me. Well, when you have to fight yourself daily: fatigue and aches and pains, any amount of energy to make a healthy balanced breakfast is something to celebrate!
  • After a horrible and long couple of weeks, I finally resumed my routine! This has been a struggle for me for many years. You know how you beat yourself up for falling off the bandwagon. Not anymore! 😀 Slow and steady wins the race!
  • I got to see the sun rise!
  • I have made peace with my feelings. This doesn’t mean my problems go away, but I trust in a loving and powerful God that can do anything, including healing my pain and making me strong. I don’t have to bear unnecessary burdens alone, anymore.
  • I’m thankful for being alive today!

What are you guys thankful for? What brings you joy this morning?

11/25/2016

It’s been a while since I’ve done a post like this! I’m excited to share my list of what brings me joy today. Some are revelations and inspirations, which is a little different from the other posts I’ve done in the past.

  • Joy is not dependent on external circumstances.
  • Stand your ground (don’t hide) despite the misunderstandings and betrayals.
  • Joy and happiness are a daily choice just like everything else.
  • God has been speaking to me through dreams recently. At first, I was a bit hesitant to take my dreams seriously because people put a lot of stigma on dream interpretation but God is really personal with how He deals with His children. I realized that I’ll sometimes wake up with the interpretation in my heart. Lately my dreams have been a source of inspiration, correction and revelation.
  • One major revelation is that enemies and conflict challenges the protagonist to change or experience growth. I remember one dream I had and the theme was CLIMAX: the highest or most intense point in the development or resolution of something; culmination.  The conflict in my life is teaching me to relax despite the chaos, trust God and praise Him while putting Him first. I’ve also learned that God restores us to wholeness. He wants to heal not just our bodies and forgive our sins but to help us overcome all of the things that holds us back from full maturity in Christ.  He forgives everything we confess to Him and our future is not defined by our past or circumstances. We walk by faith in Him not simply hard work. We are to hold everything loosely. The believer and the sinner all go through tough and good times, but what makes the believer different is faith in God. With God and in righteousness, we have security, joy and peace.
  • This is my new value/belief system. All of us will have to have our old systems and values challenged and uprooted for godly ones! None of us were born perfect or have it all figured out.

The Seed Is the WORD OF GOD

The seed of faith is the word of God not money. There is a lot of deception floating around about money being a seed. A lot of well meaning people fall into this farce but plain and simple the seed of faith is the word of God and it is planted in our hearts and produces the harvest of the fruit of the Spirit.

The greatest scheme of the enemy is to get us to distort the word of God because the word of God is what produces our harvest. We are to store treasures in heaven not bribe God with money to get a blessing. I hold on to this truth because it is the word of God that will bring my deliverance in all areas of life.

It’s not good works, it’s not going to church every Sunday, it’s not looking the part and saying the right things, but diligently depositing the word of God into the temple and believing that God will produce the increase!

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Wholeness is what God wants for us. He wants to make us whole! This means producing fruit in all areas of our lives. Whether it be self-control or showing love towards self and others, or having peace despite all circumstances, etc. These are the things God wants for us.

Another point I want to make is, we must work on ourselves before we can ever minister to others. We must allow the Holy Spirit to minister to us in this way first, being kind to ourselves first before we can ever do so for others. Sometimes God will enable us to help others along the way, but ultimately a relationship with God comes before ministry!

I am at a place where I am allowing God to minster to me. To bring me to a place of wholeness in Him and to rely solely on his Word alone.

This means more to me than any material goals I have. It means more to me than any other relationship I have. Because true peace comes from inside of us not the outside.

No one and no thing can fill the void in our hearts like God can. It is truly the Word of God that sets us free, every single day, step by step. A process we go through every day of our lives.

I learned something important. Sin can be conquered, Jesus told us he already did that. We do not fight sin as believers but TEMPTATION. There is a different. Sin leads to death and is a state. After we are delivered from a sin or a lifestyle/habit of disobedience, we are now walking in obedience and righteousness. We must now preserve this righteous state by resisting the devil aka temptation through prayer and feeding the spirit with God’s word. This is the example that Jesus gave is in the desert. He didn’t allow circumstances : being hungry and tired, deter him from his state of righteousness. He didn’t give into his flesh: literally his natural needs. We too can be like Christ because this he promised us! Cling to the promises of Christ! All that he has done, is freely given to us! What a mighty God we serve!

Money and the lust of the flesh will lead us astray if we put our confidence in that and twist the word for own selfish gain. Being a christian is rewarding, freeing and truly life changing but it comes with a price. It means we give up everything we once knew and take up the cross of Jesus. It means not always having our own way but submitting to a holy God. In time, this becomes our own nature. We feel joy in the things of God and are disgusted by things that God hates. But we must be willing to crucify, kill, destroy, annihilate the flesh. We must resurrect Godly boundaries and walk in humility and God given authority to speak, confess and believe what God promised. We will offend many because we no longer please the world but please God. They will never understand but we must be like Jesus and say ” I’m about my Father’s business.”

Source: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+5%3A22-23

I Am Free At Last!

Everyday is a new day to praise the LORD.  It is a new day to talk to him and learn something new about him and about yourself. A new day to fellowship and connect with others. A new day to help someone rise out of their slump and encourage someone to keep striving. It is a new day to marvel at the power and love of God. It is a new day to hope and trust in the LORD.

Every time the sun rises, it is like a clean slate from yesterday. The troubles from yesterday mean nothing and we celebrate the newness of every new day. No accumulation of junk and burden.  This is the rest Christ has given us in his forgivenss. 

Because I am a Child of God I have rest.Peace follows me wherever I go. I am prepared for resistence, but I am neither afraid or angry. I am prepared to lose alot of things but I am not insecure. I am prepared for criticism but I am not ashamed of Christ.

There are many things I do not know or understand but I will not pretend that I have it all together. I am simply allowing God to take me where he is leading me and along the way I’m giving him the honor for it.

I have depended on my own strength for so long. It’s peaceful to rest in the strong arms of Papa God.

I am finally free to flow with the Holy Spirit. What a joy is that to me!

To finally break out of my shell, the rigid structure and routine of religion and law, and moving into the free and flowing power of the Holy Spirit.

 

God With US

The number 23 holds significance in my life at this present time.

I recieved money to take care of an important task for the week. It was exactly 23 dollars and I also had some spare change which covered everything I needed. 15 is also significant because I had hoped the bill would be no more than 15 and without me counting or making an effort, it came up to exactly 15 on the dot. So, after spending that money, the next day as I was preparing for church, I counted all my money and found extra in the deep folds of my purse. The total amount equaled to 23. The same exact I was given. I was amazed and thanked God. However, I couldnt forget about the number 23.

According to amazingword.blogspot.com, the biblical meaning of 23 means “God with us.”

The more I thanked God for his provision in my life big or small, the more I knew and trusted that he was taking care of me. I knew God was with me in every area of my life. I had no worries, he covers all my needs so I can focus on serving HIM.

I also looked up the number 15 and according to biblestudy.org, the number 15 means rest that comes after deliverance symbolized by the number 14. While the Lord told me to rest all of last year, that day was a sign or a confirmation that my deliverance and freedom to find rest in Christ was near. That rest covered my need to worry if I had enough to pay for what I needed. Spiritually, God’s rest means I can trust and be at peace knowing that he has more than enough to meet my needs!

God is always talking to us in many different ways. Staying true to the original purpose of this blog, this experience is like the quiet small whisper, the unexpected sign of God’s love and mercy in my life.

 

 

Testimony of Deliverance

I decided as an act of obedience, to the Word of God, to share my recent testimony with everyone I know.

Pretty much I was troubled in my sleep for many many years. As time went on it, progressed to not being able to completely rest without guilt. I had to always prove I wasn’t lazy because a family member had negative things to say about everything I did. I grew up wanting to be strong and I tried my best being better than them. I wanted to be loving and kind , strong and wise. I felt as if I had raised myself. I didnt realize the amount of stress I was under trying to defy the words spoken over me and my future . I’ve had so many negative things spoken over me as a child and rarely anything positive without any insult added.

The LORD carried me through a series of steps. I was allowed to hide away and live in my own world where I was happy and free but it only took me so far. Last year, God placed me in a church where I could no longer hide and fade into the shadows. Almost every service God was speaking to me and exposing and removing the junk from my life. I struggled in my own strength for many years. My motto would be “I’m tired”. I knew if this continued I would die. The LORD said rest. I fought that too. Finally, on Saturday, I read scriptures instead of self help articles pertaining to sleep and rest. I was also watching youtube sermons about faith. I confessed what I read and heard. That rest is my right in christ. I have the right to rest and rest peacefully. I spoke to verbal curses from my past spoken over me, that they may be broken in Jesus name. That very night, as I slept, I was harrassed by an spirit that tried to choke me. I woke up and called out the name of Jesus but I couldnt go back to sleep after. I asked the Lord for energy to make it through service.

Again, I was put on the spot and I was very angry. I was so angry that I couldn’t speak. I was asked to say something in faith but instead of just doing it, I felt embarrassed and wanted to hide. It wasnt even logical because in my head, I had no idea why I was scared. I just wanted to be left alone. I didn’t want anyone to notice me. I just wanted to enjoy the service and go on my way. Basically I wanted to be invisible. But my church family prayed for me when I couldnt pray for myself. That same feeling of suffocation returned and I knew if I didnt pray I’d die. It was so hard to speak but I finally said “I will serve the Lord with all my mind, heart and soul.

I know I can do anything in Christ. I dont have to hide anymore or be ashamed of my struggles. My struggles are here to give God glory because he has rescued me time and time again. I don’t have to prove to myself that I’m not worthless or that I have to work harder than anyone else to be loved by God. The Lord has called me to speak, therefore I will speak. Not for my own gain but because of the Kingdom of Heaven and the work he has prepared for me to do.

May the LORD Jesus Christ be praised now and forever.

Obedience is Better than Sacrifice

Sometimes I have to remind myself who I am and who God is! Everything I do should be for God’s glory. Wisdom comes from God, my skills and talents and gifts comes from HIM .

 

I’ve reached a place in my life where “obedience is better than sacrifice” rings  true. Just because I do something considered right or good doesn’t mean it’s what God wanted for a specific situation. Honestly I believe and hold it in my heart, that God still talks to us today just like he did with those in biblical times. Why are we so reliant on our own personal understanding? God is personally here with us! His word is the standard we base everything on BUT what about our daily life choices? Is God just leaving us to interpret the scriptures and apply biblical prophecies where ever we see fit? No, the bible promises that we will know his voice, those that truly walk with HIM.

 

How many times I could have chosen to do something because it seemed right but not what God wanted for me at the time! Obedience is better than sacrifice and everything we do should give glory to God.

My prayer is that I become ever the more sensitive to the voice of God and his direction. That I will not depend on my own reasoning but wait on HIM! To God be all the glory now and forever!

 

But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.

1 Samuel 15:22 NLT

http://biblehub.com/1_samuel/15-22.htm

Moving Beyond Yourself

I had to take a moment and thank God for everything he has done for me. For protecting me, guiding me and helping me along. However, I wanted to say more than that. I wanted to experience more than that. Those things are wonderful but I want to move beyond what I have now and see the heart of God. I want to see him beyond what I see now. I want to move beyond my world, my very small and limited world and see the world through God’s eyes. I want to see things the way God does. I want to talk to God in a way that is greater than I have today. I want to move beyond my troubles, beyond my circumstances and just see God. No distractions. When you take a moment to give God all your fears and cares it truly means freeing yourself of those burdens so you can truly concentrate and focus on him only. I know he will take care of me. And forgiveness is important. When you don’t forgive you are holding yourself back. That’s why God commands us to love each other. Just forgive. Ask God to help you to forgive.

Right now, my place is in the arms of God. I can’t expect to be a blessing to anyone else if I don’t have a solid relationship with him first.

I will Enter Your Rest

The Sabbath day was created for us as a way to slow down and relax after work. God did just that. He showed us how to live through example. All work but no rest causes build up of stress and negative emotions that can lead to illness. I know this from experience.

 

Even simply worrying over things can build stress. Honoring the Sabbath is more than just physical rest but also mental and emotional rest. Jesus is the ultimate source of rest. I find that through prayer, thanksgiving (gratefulness/thankfulness) and being content with who we are,where we are and who God is we find complete peace.

I had a dream that I will never forget. In that dream I was asked why I wasn’t dead but since I’m alive I should rest. REST.

Over and over God has reminded me how important it was for me to rest. I want everything done now; I must do it myself because only I can do it best and my self worth was tied into performance. If I didn’t get everything done at a set time I was worthless and a failure. I also took on other people’s problems in excess. I love helping others and expressing concern but constant whining and negativity left me drained. I always say, a person will accept help when they want change. I cannot fix anyone and so I don’t need to sit around being everyone’s therapist.

I have slowly implemented ways to reduce physical stress through OCCASIONAL exercise, and breathing techniques, avoiding stressful food and environments. Mentally changing the way I see things and allowing myself time to rationalize my feelings and finding ways around situations. No more running away but no more worrying either. Worrying is another way to saying to God ” I don’t trust in you”. It’s ok to have concerns but that’s why the bible tells us to go to God in prayer about everything.

When I’m tired I will rest. Everyday make time to rest and talk to God. Simply do nothing. Lay still; at home or even in the sun. Have ONE DAY where you don’t cook anything, use electronics, talk to anyone unless for emergencies. Solitude is important. I always say that if a person cannot be alone with themselves, they have an issue.

Embrace a lifestyle that is not acceptable by Western Society. There was one thing I looked forward to growing up and it was having freedom. To me, being a adult not only meant having responsibilities but the freedom to create a life that makes you happy. You can choose exactly how you spend your time. I feel that money has become a burden more than a source of comfort and we spend our time living for status and wealth we never enjoy. The bible also talks about this in Ecclesiastes. There is a time for everything under the sun and what is the point in working hard but not enjoying the fruits of your labor?

Money should work for you, not the other way around. Remember, you are the goal and everything else is the means. You are the end to every goal knowing that by the grace of God every need will be met. I personally don’t think God wanted us to suffer for the natural things in life which is why Jesus told us not to worry about food or clothes like the heathens do.

Exodus is another book that displays the graciousness of God, supplying all that the Israelite needed to get through a very rough time in their history. God gave them the 10 commandants as a way to live in harmony with each other and to have peace of mind within. It is for our benefit that God gave us such rules. It was never meant to keep us from experiencing freedom but actually gives us complete freedom.

I choose from today to honor the Sabbath.