Tag Archives: Fake Friends

Friend or Foe?

Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash

Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash

Man oh man!

I’m sorry but excuse me? How did I not see this coming? It’s okay though,  I understand now.

CYCLES! History constantly repeats itself until you get it!

Step 1: Identify your weak points and discipline yourself to strengthen them!

That means removing triggers, being aware and slowing down when making decisions!

Step 2: Identify those that undermine you and by all means throw them in the trash!

You are not strong! Don’t try to put up with it, rationalize it out of existence or make excuses for this person. Get rid of them at all cost. There is no negotiating or pleading with these people. Feelings don’t change overnight. You will know a malicious person, set to undermine you when:

1. They put you down whether overtly or covertly through insults, comparisons, or dismissive behavior.

2. You notice you become confused, sad, resentful and private.

Why? Because their aim is to make you feel WORTHLESS!

3. This will happen for the rest of your life so get use to it.

4. Slowly build a support system that will surround you and uplift you during your times in need.

By all means shun every single church, or person that doesn’t fit this qualification. There are churches out there that will make you paranoid, zap you of your life and vitality and make you walk around with constant guilt. Be patient and take your time creating this circle. State what you expect ahead of time and watch people carefully. Circumstances and situations will expose a person.

You deserve to be loved and honored. Don’t settle for less than that! Your inner circle should be people that would even lay their lives down for you and vise versa. Not people that just want to be around you and have a good time, or hear your woes but don’t actually want to root for you and uplift you as a person. This means a lot especially when you are low.  No one will always be happy and full of joy and on cloud 9, 10 and 11, so you need a system of people that will encourage and push you forward. Job had horrible friends. God knew that too and Job had to pray for them, so God would forgive them for judging him and speaking falsely on God’s behalf. But then we see Jonathan, who was not only willing to give up all he had for David, for He understood the calling on David’s life, but was supportive and spoiled the plans of his father Saul to protect his friend. Your friends are LOYAL to you and do not want to see you harmed.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get this right, right way. I wanted to feel guilty for allowing certain people in my life but what will guilt do? Guilt just robs you of your vitality and hinders you from growing and learning. For some, this comes naturally, for others, not so much.

Be willing to walk alone for a season until you find those that will surround you with the love you deserve and help you reach your goals in life. We need each other, but we need the right people!

Until next time,






No one truly understands or cares about your problems. They don’t have to. Once you accept this, everything will make sense.


However, there might be one or two people who make the effort in understand you, your problems, your strengths…everything. These people should have a niche in your life.

For so long I didn’t understand what friendships should look like. I acted as if friendships could be with anyone willing to talk to me until they proved to be enemies. Until they did something horrible, they were considered friends before they did anything wonderful. This was the cause of so much hurt and anger.

The problem lies within ourselves. We should know our worth. We don’t deserve just anyone in our lives. We need to wait for people who will prove their love for us on a daily basis. These people will fight for us, care for us, cry with us but help us overcome. These people are our cheerleaders. These people WANT to see every part of us. They won’t allow us to stay in our rut for the sake of “love and friendship” either.

It didn’t make sense until this very moment. It took me YEARS to understand and finally I can articulate what I was feeling. It’s freeing in every way to know that I am on the right path.

In the quest for understanding, you will spend some days alone. Sometimes you will lose people who were never meant to be in your life. Don’t cling, let them go.

People who lie, speak ill of you, belittle you, harass you, DO NOT LOVE YOU. Many of them will claim to love you but deep down you will know. The bible clearly tells us what love looks like. Anyone who puts themselves first does not love. Remember that person who talks excessively about themselves? Yup, no love there. Love isn’t selfish and it doesn’t boast. The person who keeps bringing up your past? Yup, no love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

As you seek the face of God everyday he will continue to show you just what true love looks like. He’s the greatest teacher there is! Trust him, you’ll see.