Tag Archives: friends

Friend or Foe?

Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash

Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash

Man oh man!

I’m sorry but excuse me? How did I not see this coming? It’s okay though,  I understand now.

CYCLES! History constantly repeats itself until you get it!

Step 1: Identify your weak points and discipline yourself to strengthen them!

That means removing triggers, being aware and slowing down when making decisions!

Step 2: Identify those that undermine you and by all means throw them in the trash!

You are not strong! Don’t try to put up with it, rationalize it out of existence or make excuses for this person. Get rid of them at all cost. There is no negotiating or pleading with these people. Feelings don’t change overnight. You will know a malicious person, set to undermine you when:

1. They put you down whether overtly or covertly through insults, comparisons, or dismissive behavior.

2. You notice you become confused, sad, resentful and private.

Why? Because their aim is to make you feel WORTHLESS!

3. This will happen for the rest of your life so get use to it.

4. Slowly build a support system that will surround you and uplift you during your times in need.

By all means shun every single church, or person that doesn’t fit this qualification. There are churches out there that will make you paranoid, zap you of your life and vitality and make you walk around with constant guilt. Be patient and take your time creating this circle. State what you expect ahead of time and watch people carefully. Circumstances and situations will expose a person.

You deserve to be loved and honored. Don’t settle for less than that! Your inner circle should be people that would even lay their lives down for you and vise versa. Not people that just want to be around you and have a good time, or hear your woes but don’t actually want to root for you and uplift you as a person. This means a lot especially when you are low.  No one will always be happy and full of joy and on cloud 9, 10 and 11, so you need a system of people that will encourage and push you forward. Job had horrible friends. God knew that too and Job had to pray for them, so God would forgive them for judging him and speaking falsely on God’s behalf. But then we see Jonathan, who was not only willing to give up all he had for David, for He understood the calling on David’s life, but was supportive and spoiled the plans of his father Saul to protect his friend. Your friends are LOYAL to you and do not want to see you harmed.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get this right, right way. I wanted to feel guilty for allowing certain people in my life but what will guilt do? Guilt just robs you of your vitality and hinders you from growing and learning. For some, this comes naturally, for others, not so much.

Be willing to walk alone for a season until you find those that will surround you with the love you deserve and help you reach your goals in life. We need each other, but we need the right people!

Until next time,

 

 

 

 

Be About Your Father’s Business: Walking into Your Purpose

The best yet most painful decision I’ve made this year was to physically and emotionally distance myself from certain people.

I am not strong. In the past, I would always say I’m strong, a leader and someone that can overcome anything. At first, it was an amazing feeling, to feel invincible and untouchable. But as I grew older, I realized that I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was. None of us are, in truth. Human beings are not strong. I’m sure someone will disagree with me and that’s fine. When I realized that I couldn’t depend on myself, that’s when I became liberated.

Another lie I was told was that I needed people. In essence, we are a community of people with talents and skills that are limited to a person. However, I do not believe we should be clinging to a specific person or skill.

My freedom came when I had nothing to prove. I admitted defeat. My admission to being weak led me to pick and choose the company I keep wisely. I saw people for who they were. There were people that were hyper critical of me, put me down and had impossible expectations. To others, I was never good enough. Everyone had an opinion on how I should live my life and who I should be. I would become very angry or defensive, it was draining. Something rose up in my heart, knowing that if I did not get these negative comments out of my ears, I would become an empty shell. When I sought help from people, I was told to BE STRONG or WHO CARES or YOU NEED TO LOVE THEM AND HELP THEM. These words were bondage. It put a burden on me to carry the weight of these people’s words and actions towards me, making me believe that I could control how they responded to me. I was made to fix everyone so that they would love and accept me or rather shut up. Laugh

One day, I had enough and I blocked and deleted everyone. Those that I couldn’t block or delete, I just stopped hanging around them. I was told being alone is of Satan. Laughs hysterically. I was told God didn’t want me to be isolated.  Some days I believed these words, but the more I am living with these conditions, the more I have a sense of freedom. A heavy boulder has been lifted off my shoulders. I am free to think for myself without noise. I am able to feel my own emotions without internalizing others. I am able to focus on things of substance and not always trying to guard myself.

Another thing happened that made me believe that I made the right decision. I had stopped believing that I needed certain people to help me and just moved by faith. Deep down, I knew that God was with me and would send help as needed. I went to Him first and He knew who to send. I’ve had someone bless me without me asking or begging for it.  Because It wasn’t a so called friend, I was not made to feel I owed this person. I was free to take this gift and praise God for it. Acts of kindness are best with no attachments.

I am not alone or isolated like people tell me. The Holy Spirit of God is always with me. Even if the whole world lost it’s inhabitants besides me, I would still not be alone. God would create something and someone out of dirt to help me and vise versa. God is capable of doing anything and everything. I do not put my trust in human strength or wisdom. I do not put my trust in anyone above God.

In my time alone, I got to look into a mirror and see my flaws and shortcomings. I was able to identify them and present them to God. I was also made to see what made me beautiful. A lot of us walk around with shame and guilt but Christ already died for all of our sins! Please, do not feel condemned. Condemnation is for those outside of Christ by their own choice, but for those of us that believe, we are made free.

I’m also talking to those of you that have done horrible things in life. The outcasts and the misfits. Those that mistreated others. Those that have a dark, dark past. I am going out on a limb here to extend the mercy of God even to you. It doesn’t negate what you have done, there will always be consequences for your actions, but mercy and grace means that God will not give to you what you deserve. It is in true mercy and grace that the most despicable person can change. Jesus had mercy on the prostitute that was going to be stoned. In those days, it was considered punishable by death those who committed adultery. The funny part of it all was that none of the men that used her services were to be stoned, just her. Jesus did something that they did not understand. He showed her mercy and THEN told her to sin no more. We don’t show mercy and condone the sin, we show mercy and then point them to Christ so that they may be free from sin.

In my alone time, I am able to decide what I want to do with my life and how I want to serve others. I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t help others if I’m always guarding myself. I am best fit to serve if I stay true to who I am. No one knows me better than God. And I know myself better than anyone knows me. I know what I can and cannot do. I don’t want to be like anyone else but myself. God made each of us unique. We may share similar talents but even the way we use them is different. My advice is stop listening to other people and ask God for yourself. Better yet, live your life and He will order your steps. I spent a majority of my childhood asking God what’s my purpose, not realizing that you simply walk into it as you go.

YOU WALK INTO YOUR PURPOSE.”

Day by day, God places you in situations and circumstances to glorify Him. Did Shadrach Meshach and Abednego know that they were going to be thrown into a furnace that later was the catalyst for the King to acknowledge The Most High? And did Moses know that eventually he would become the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and perform miracles? He was an old man when God called him. So don’t worry, If you are close to God’s heart, you are probably touching lives already. It doesn’t always have to be something grand. It could be as small as raising your children to fear God. Loving your spouse. Helping a sick relative. It could be as small as being honest and hard working at your job. It could be as simple and encouraging someone who is sad. Not everyone is called to a large platform. Are you okay with that? In everyday life we are to praise God. It’s not about a title or a large stadium full of people. It’s not about a large church or doing charity work oversees.

There are people in your life right now that could benefit from you being yourself. You don’t have to be a prayer warrior if you are not. Maybe you are best at acts of service. Maybe you’re not good at either of those but you are a good conversationalist. Maybe you are good at crafting and working with your hands, so you make baked goods and other little goodies that declare the goodness of God. Maybe you are good at comforting people.

I’m about to get up and twirl around because of how amazing that is. YOU ARE YOU FOR A REASON! Cultivate YOU and you will be able to help others authentically.

 

Remove yourself from drama, fighting and jealousy. Remove yourself from these petty things and embrace the breath God gave you. He gave you life not to waste but to invest. We are to invest our lives as treasures in heaven. You cannot change people so those that refuse to grow up, must be cut off, so you will not swim around in dirty water. Don’t get sucked into the crabs in a barrel syndrome. You do not need to hang around foolishness to change foolishness. You need to be about your father’s business so they may see the light in you. As you live your life, they will hear about you and they will know from what you do that God is real and true. More than anything else, guard your heart. It is right to have selective hearing and vision. Not everything is okay to listen to or watch. Don’t defile your spirit. You are not strong, so don’t give yourself up to be tempted. Honor the season of solitude and you will reap the benefits. In due season, from a healthy place, you will find and cultivate healthier and godly relationships!

The Freedom of Solitude, Embrace it.

There is this saying floating around that being alone is a horrible thing and you’re doomed in life if you embrace that lifestyle.

This beautiful Wednesday morning,  I hear the birds chirping…I just finished a warm bowl of oatmeal and now I’m listening to the light clicking of my fingers typing away,  I have something I want to share with  you.

You will find yourself in seasons of solitude. It might be voluntary or involuntary, and I’ve come to tell you that it’s okay. It’s okay, don’t fret, don’t cry. Don’t pace back and forth in your living room. Don’t dive under the blanket and eat a tub of ice cream. Nothing is wrong with you. You are not less of a person because no one is around. Solitude is a great time to re-affirm your beliefs. A great time to slow down and get things done. It’s a great opportunity to have less social commitments and simply go outside and mingle with people for the sake of doing so. Think of it as a new adventure.

6/27/2017

LittleEverydayBlessings.com

You are about to embark on a journey. You are about to discover a whole new aspect to life, by yourself. You won’t have people nagging you, questioning your decisions, you are free to explore without limitations. If you had a fall out with people in your past, deal with it, bitterness is not cute. It will form clouds on that beautiful, radiant face of yours and we don’t want that.

Have friends that cramp your style and make you question your existence? Maybe it’s time to be like Abraham and let go of Lot. Is it healthy to be in constant turmoil when you can go to the opposite side of town and be in peace?

We live in a world where no one is free to simply be. We are pressured to have forced and labored interactions. Forced to smile when we don’t want to. Forced to be fake and pretend life is something grand when sometimes it’s not. It’s beautiful when you can smile because you know why you’re smiling, even if it’s something small and insignificant. It’s a great feeling to connect with someone honestly, and not just putting on appearances to make it seem as if you’re getting along. Joy cannot be manufactured.

I feel free just sharing this with you. It’s like a heavy burden was lifted off my shoulders the moment I stopped allowing people’s comments to dictate my feelings. I have always embraced my need for solitude and the seasons of solitude in my life, but I’ve also been criticized for it. Now, I’m not saying being alone and moping around is healthy for anyone, but if you are truly embracing the beauty of solitude and being alone , what’s the issue? Can someone tell me? No you can’t, so don’t even bother. Laughs.

Questions

Have you ever pondered the true meaning of friendship? Lately, that’s all I think about and I can not find a real, honest and pure meaning of the word.

What about the meaning of surrender? When they say SURRENDER and REPENT. What does that REALLY mean? Do I even know?

Sometimes I wonder If I, or anyone, REALLY know what anything means.

What does it mean that I’m even thinking about these things?

Endless sea of questions but I think I might be opening the door to something bigger than myself.