Tag Archives: heart

What Do You Want?

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

This is an on whim post.

I am not only sharing this but it’s documentation for future reference. I will save this in the bin of things to read after a year or two.

This weekend was stressful. I haven’t had to deal with this issue in a long time and it was quite a shock for me to deal with it once again. You know when you get tired of dealing with an issue for years but feel trapped? You’ve tried everything possible but nothing works.

I’m going to be real and raw : when you pray to God and ask for help and he gives you 1 million encouraging words like : peace and hold on and go forth and be strong, only for you to stare that same problem in the face.

You’ve tried everything, nothing works. You reach out for help but people don’t care, don’t understand. They leave you there to figure it out on your own but wonder why you don’t want anything to do with them.

We live in a world where people are cruel. People don’t care about you until you’re dead. Then they will say, I wish I knew or I wish I had done something to prevent this from happening. But all the while, you had asked them for help but they didn’t care to help.

So one day, I was fed up and took a leap of faith. Where I am today was because of my own hard work, vision and faith in God.

I have made peace with the fact that people don’t care and are cruel. These people will try to kill your dreams. They will open their mouths and use their words to kill you. If you are in a broken place, they will succeed. The only way to protect yourself in a broken place is to have selective hearing.

YOU MUST SHUN AT ALL COST anything negative being spoken to you. It’s not anything  mystical, it’s a simple fact that your ears are a gateway to your heart. Your eyes and ears are gateways to your heart. Your mouth is the exit of your heart. So those people are speaking from what is in their hearts. But if you listen and observe what they are saying, they can begin to shape and mold you.

You must NOT allow anyone to plant that seed in your heart. Everything you become starts from your heart. This is why the Bible warns us about guarding our hearts.

The greatest way to silence your enemies is to continue living your life as if their words have no weight. Your mere presence is a threat to them and that’s their battle to fight.

So I ask, ” what do you want? What makes you happy?” Do what YOU want without apology. If it’s wrong, God will make it right. If it’s too far left, God will push it a little more to the left. Let GOD mold you, not people. Don’t you ever do anything simply because people say so, but because you know in your heart it’s the right thing to do. Everyone is living their lives, including those trying to dictate yours.

The greatest thing you could ever do is accept yourself as you are.

The way you are is perfect and God can use you as you are right now. Perfectionism is a sham. It’s just there to keep you crippled in an infinite loop of madness,  unlike the line of progression of authenticity.

Being authentic comes with a price: you will have people that love you and those that hate you. At first it might seem as if everyone hates you but there will be those that will identify you and admire you. The beauty of it is that when you were trying to please people and remain unnoticed by fitting in, people still hated you. But now  you know who loves you as the real you.

Everyone goes through this. The journey between childhood and adulthood is a turbulent one. It is an uncertain phase and you must learn to shift out what you have been taught with what is truth. Not everything taught is truth.

Who do you want to be? I stopped asking God what I should do with my life. You will either know from youth or walk into it as you live. Most of us walk into it. God doesn’t reveal things at once. If so, then we wouldn’t need him and life would be predicable. What would we learn? For those that already know, only know so much.

Life is like jumping in the dark. You can’t see beyond eye view and sometimes you can’t see at all. You must take jumps: some small and some big. Where you land, the floor tiles light up, enabling you to see. As you keep jumping,3 you are able to see what was behind you and from eye view, what’s around you. If you refuse to jump, you won’t be able to see or make progress.

We also jump in our own ways. Some of us only have one leg. Some of us have a crutch. Others have both legs. Some of us are taller and some shorter. Others of us are heavier and some lighter. The way we jump and how we land are influenced by these factors. People might say one way is better than the other but that’s not true. God made you as you are and even if it was from life’s circumstances, this is who you are. The way you jump and land is YOUR STORY and it’s a unique one. It’s YOURS. Striving for the unknown, best jump is not only ignorant but a waste of time. We shouldn’t strive to have the same story but to find ways to share our own unique stories. We will find our people. We will find common ground with those that jump differently but we are all here to motivate and encourage one another to jump.

When we bicker and fight we stop jumping. Then our world becomes dark and we can only see what’s behind us.

This year I’ve thrown down the veil of perfectionism and take up the mantle of faith.

I will walk as I am, talk as I am and live as I am. I will keep jumping and leaping and landing. I will let my leaps paint a picture of light around me.

With faith, no one can crush you. With faith, no one can take away your dreams or your joy. With faith, hope follows and with hope there is peace.

The bible says do not fear EVIL people with their wicked schemes.

Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Psalm 37:7 NLT

Just keep leaping and landing and one day you’ll find yourself where you need to be. The Lord is faithful to guide our imperfect steps. He is God and we are not. Accept who you are and cling tightly to the one who has the power to save you.

 

 

Daily Ramblings – The Perfect Person

ben-rosett-10613

Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash

I admit defeat.

I admit that I have hit a brick wall and don’t know how to climb it. That brick wall is a thought or even a belief. Something I’ve observed in my life from birth to current time.

Is there a perfect person to be found?

Someone that has all the qualities we admire and desire in a person?

People are on the quest for love and friendships. Dating and marriage advice plagues the internet, marriage coaches can be found on every IP address, relationship guru’s at every turn. Even sermons about friends, “frenemies”, toxic people etc.

Is there ever a perfect person? Can we ever find the perfect match? Someone with all we want and more?

I can’t offer answers, just questions. People say they’ve found the one. A man or woman that fits the list of all they wanted in a person, but what if that person fails? What if they don’t love you? Do you still chase after them simply because they fit your list,  or because they are accepted by everyone as being perfect for you?

Then we hear advice from 90 year – olds or people in decades long marriages and they say it takes hard work and commitment. That the person is completely different and yet they work hard at coming together with understanding. The highs and the lows of their relationship is met with the determination to never give up. These set of people focused less on the check list of a perfect person, but more so on the hard work and dedication it takes to love someone.

Another powerful testimony of love demonstrated by a father – who prayed 7 years for his son. He didn’t throw a tantrum at God asking why his son was bad and faulty – he simply prayed. He prayed, he said, even when things were getting worse as he prayed. Eventually his son turned around for the better.

Love without expectations, limits, unconditional love. In this world, what does that even mean? We can’t find this kind of love being encouraged anywhere,  but I think of the love God has shown me.

Let me share a personal story. There was a time when I turned away from God because of the weight of guilt and seeking perfection – doing works to gain God’s love.

When I returned to him, I would throw tantrums and hide whenever I was disappointed, mad or confused. I remember one day, while being very ill, laying in bed and feeling as if God was right there with me. I said to myself :  wow, I cannot hide from God. He is everywhere. I close my eyes and I hear him. I close my ears and I see him. I shut down my senses and He visits me. I cannot shut God out! He pursues me constantly. 

I was messed up, broken and hurt. I was ill. To the world I was worthless in every way. People could say : well she has nothing to offer society so why should anyone love her. Find a more suitable woman or friend. However, God didn’t say that about me. Time and time again I’d hear him say ” I know your heart”. He’d remind me that my worth did not come from how perfect I was – a job, education, social status (how many friends I had), how often I didn’t sin, how I looked etc,  but simply based on the fact that I am a being created by God. He said he saw my heart and with a heart like mine, he could work with it. He could break it down till it got soft, and then with his bare hands mold it and shape it.

Then he said something to me recently that was even better than before : that he is NOT judging me and that he will give me a new heart. Trust me guys, I read my bible and I knew I read that somewhere, so I did a quick google search and found it.

Here’s what that passage says:

Ezekiel 36 : 25- 27 (NLT)

 “Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. Your filth will be washed away, and you will no longer worship idols. And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.  And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations…”

I admit defeat. I cannot predict what God will do. I cannot predict what God will show or teach me. All I can do is have my questions and wait on His answers.  As I go through life, learning about Him and having experiences, I know I will know what I need to know. Ultimately, God is in absolute control. I just want a soft and responsive heart to hear his voice when he talks to me.

Till next time,

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Never Thirst Again!

Photo by: Qang Jaka on Unsplash.

During my time in worship, I was led to read John 4 starting from verse 4 – the story of the Samaritan woman at the well.

How many of us use people, things, everything and anything to fill up the void in our hearts? In essence, humans were made to worship. We were created for that. However, Jesus points out to us the kind of worship he is looking for, reading from the MSG translation:

(background verses) 21-23 “Believe me, woman, the time is coming when you Samaritans will worship the Father neither here at this mountain nor there in Jerusalem. You worship guessing in the dark; we Jews worship in the clear light of day. God’s way of salvation is made available through the Jews. But the time is coming—it has, in fact, come—when what you’re called will not matter and where you go to worship will not matter.

23-24 “It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.”

The Samaritan woman had 5 husbands and currently living with a man she wasn’t married to. Sounds familiar? Sounds exactly like our world today. It’s a small section of the passage but it is very important.

Jesus presented himself as the cure to her sin. He didn’t condemn her, he simply implied: drink from my well and you will never have to settle for anything that is not good for you.

Like I mentioned in all my previous posts, don’t hide from God like Adam and Eve in the garden! Run and fall down before God and pour out your whole heart, everything to him. He is not judging you. He already knows! The Samaritan woman thought Jesus was a prophet because he knew she had 5 husbands and living with a man. Point proven, God knows ALL.

Go to him believing He is the solution and cure for all your deficiencies! You don’t need to go to a church building, or a temple. If you look for him, you will find him right where you are.

Let him quench your thirst forever. Drink from the well of his Spirit. He is the source of life. He IS LIFE. He came to give us LIFE.

Be free to be yourself. You do not have to play church, know church doctrine, know every bible verse. Be free! Just have an open heart before JESUS.

God is truly intentional. In my time of waiting on him, he gave me the answer I was looking for. God is in the business of healing deep wounds. He has his timing but when he is ready, he doesn’t care what you are doing and where you are. He will bring it all up to the surface. He will shine his operation light on all of your wounds and disease. He will draw them out with his loving power. He will give you a new heart …look here…

Ezekiel 36:26-28(MSG)

24-28 “‘For here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to take you out of these countries, gather you from all over, and bring you back to your own land. I’ll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed. I’ll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. You’ll once again live in the land I gave your ancestors. You’ll be my people! I’ll be your God!

Jesus fulfilled the words of the prophets of old. Jesus is the word, every word from the prophets were fulfilled in the person of Christ. Find him and you will find life.

Be Well,

My Religion is Love

Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

I was introduced to the Christian faith from since I was born. I heard about Jesus and He was a very big part of my life growing up. I knew of Him, admired Him and believed He was real. However, I never really saw what love truly looked like. All around me I saw hate, anger, bitterness and fear. I knew I wanted no part of these things but I had no clue what I was actually looking for as a replacement. My idea of God was a powerful being that held our spiritual future in His hands. We were to obey His rules and thus, escape judgement.

In the two major churches in my life, I didn’t see love either. I was force-fed their idea of what love was but it was just a mask. Everyone hid behind “perfection”, looking the part. You had to say the right things. You had to fit into the culture. Something hit me when I left this second time around.

Looking back at my own personal experience with God, I found true redemption. God stripped me of the legalistic mindset of good works as a means of winning His love, to finding His love as a free gift given through faith in Jesus. God was with me in my darkest moments, talking to me and comforting me, but I was too blind to see. He protected me from my poor choices and spoke to me in my dreams.

When I had my conversion moment, it was the day I saw God for who He truly was. A loving God. I started to measure the love people were force feeding me to the love He demonstrated. None compared! People were not mindful of what came out of their mouths. They would yell “hallelujah” and “praise God” and yet, they were tearing down other people. Gossip, malice, jealousy and even being fake! Imagine someone encouraging people to put on a fake smile when they clearly know they have something in their heart against another. Who are we fooling? Do we really think unbelievers are dumb? They can see through the facade. It made me check myself as well. I never claimed to be loving or anything of the sort, but I wanted to badly to understand what true love was.

I was not content with my environment and empty words. I was not content with empty acts of charity. God revealed to me that love comes from the heart. But where does a heart full of love come from?

I truly believe human beings are not capable of producing sincere love on their own. Every act of love and charity is a gift from God. He moves us to produce that first fruit of the spirit.

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)

*Screams* LOOK! It’s right there! “Against such things there is no law.” Love is a spirit! it’s spiritual.

Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.  That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You[ must be born again.’ The wind[blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:5-10 (ESV)

To break it down, laws are rigid. They are a check-list or a to-do list of what is wrong and if you do these wrong things, a judge pronounces judgement. However, those who are full of love or produce the spirit of love are free! This love is God’s spirit. It takes no shape or form. It cannot be manufactured. It cannot be conjured up. It comes from a transformed heart and flows out of it. This freedom comes from focusing on what or rather who. It comes from a place of grace: pointing us to God and Him covering our mistakes.

Love comes from a pure heart. Not one full of malice or hate. Before one can profess love, one must deal with their heart condition. Like David, one must fall before God and ask Him to clean their hearts. This is something we must do daily!

Instead of us worrying about specific isolated acts of love, we must focus on the well in which it springs from.

Our love must point to the perfect love of Christ. Our love doesn’t compare to the love Christ has for us but we are known by our love for others. It transforms the way we think about ourselves FIRST! Then, it bubbles over and spreads like a flood.

We focus so much on evangelism and preaching the word. Winning souls and conferences. Friday night bible studies and Church ministry when all it takes to be a disciple of Christ is to love him and acknowledge him in all our ways.

It’s simple. God is love. His love is real and tangible. His love is pure and true. His love changes things. We are simply the vessels His Spirit uses. We cannot boast in our imperfect love but we can brag all day about God’s love. We can share our testimony and our stories of God’s love with everyone we meet.

Love is not cussing out someone who makes you mad. It is also, apologizing if you do. It goes even further in understanding that our words can tear and break people. It is understanding that we must bless and not curse. It is embracing the fact that God fights for us. We have a God that loves us and we can pray for our enemies. When they hurt us, we pray and tell God how we feel. Then He will soothe and touch our hearts and help us to mend.

It is showing mercy. People are not living holy lives for your comfort or benefit. It for their own walk with God. So if you see a brother or sister stumbling, encourage them! If they fall, pick them up! Correction is also love. Don’t flatter and lie about sin to make people feel comfortable. In love, correct them. Love wants to see others succeed too.

Love is about someone else and not you. Love doesn’t keep track of all the good you have done. Love requires us to die. Love sometimes means we must walk away for the sake of peace and for good. Love also means not enabling others to sin.

Our love will never measure up but our love is simply an expression of the change God has done in us. Love lasts forever. Why? Because souls last forever. Chasing after material wealth and success, these things will fade. But human souls live forever. It gets passed down generation to generation. One act of kindness can change a life forever and their children’s, children’s, children.

My religion is love. It never fails.

Just A Thought…

People see the outward part of us. What we show to the world, but God sees the inner man. The places in our heart, mind, soul and spirit that even we cannot see. Unlike man that loves a performance and a show, God looks at the heart. He looks at the source. He sees the hidden things and if we allow Him, He can clean every nook and cranny until we are spotless.

I believe this is why God said do not focus on pleasing people. People usually do not care what’s on the inside, they just like seeing pretty things. They like to be entertained. If you try to please everyone, you will not only burn yourself out, but lose yourself in the process.

This ties into being who you were created to be. You were born special and unique. There is no competition in God’s kingdom. Moses was not like Joseph and both of them were not like David or Daniel but God used all of them and loved them all. The one thing they had in common was their love for God but their temperaments, life story and callings/ministries were different. We are one body with many parts. All parts are necessary and important for healthy function. So don’t compete. Don’t compare. Be free and be YOU and love God with all your heart because he saved you from the competition and stress of the world.

Here is a quote I came up with in the quietness of my own thoughts :

“The me of today can only do what I can do at this present time. And, I cannot do today, what I can do tomorrow. But, if I keep doing today what I can do for now, I know I’ll get better in time for tomorrow.”

Tomorrow is dependent on God. He forms the new day, calling it into existence. He keeps the world functioning as it should. He cares about the intimate details of our lives and so all progress in our lives rest in his hands. There is something different about the Kingdom of Heaven that is different than the system of this world. We use to rely on our own ideologies and our own will and strength but those things can crumble and fade away through the pressures of life and even in the face of death. But there is something supernatural about the system of heaven. It’s more about dependence on God. A faith that is reliant on God’s power, wisdom and knowledge but not our own.

I had a realization that unless we allow God to empty us, and refill us with Himself, we will never become who we were created to be, reaching our full potential. We will always be putting on a show. A source of entertainment for people to enjoy and feel comfortable, but true change is uncomfortable, forcing people to see beyond themselves and into the Light of Christ.