Tag Archives: Holiness

Don’t Numb The Pain – You Have A Choice!

Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

One of the greatest things I’ve done in life was sit through the pain. I didn’t run away, didn’t rationalize, didn’t find unhealthy ways to cope. I dropped everything and sat in my anger, shame and pain.

I sat there and embraced it, completely.

It was in my pain that I saw a loving God and the strength he has given me. In that lonely and painful time, it was then, that I realized that I am in full control over my decisions and actions. I decided, that the greatest power I have, is wielding my faith and holding on to my integrity. All the pain:  self-inflicted or caused by others, was not going to make me into a horrible  person.

I knew I ready won. No one can take God or my integrity away from me.

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

I can do good and be good.

I can rise above the pain of life.

I can hold on to what I truly believe in.

I can explore life with faith.

I also accepted that I knew nothing about the promises of God. It’s not enough to do good deeds, we need to know why we do them.

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

We do good to off balance evil.

We do good to help others.

We do good to glorify God

We do good for our own future – storing up treasures in heaven that never rot or decay.

Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

The sight of heaven and being with God as a reward, made it easier for me to press on. Our mistakes and failures are meaningless under grace. We have a choice, every new day, to chase after God and his ways. We must be willing to throw out human opinion and fear of man to rise up. We will be misunderstood, hated and suffer all kinds of things when we decide to follow God. But, don’t focus on that. Focus on God and what he tells you to do. No one can make you do anything or be anything. No one has that power unless you give it to them.

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash

It’s a choice that affects every other choice you make.

Always aim to choose wisely.

You Are God’s Treasure

Love produces change. Cruelty to oneself just makes you feel guilty and icky. It is self-sabotage. When you love and embrace your worth, you are able to make better choices. Not out of obligation, guilt or fear but out of deep inner conviction. You stop settling and start wanting the best with humility. You will begin to nurture, love and encourage yourself like a treasured friend. You will enforce healthy boundaries and learn how to say no with strength and confidence.

If you are a temple where God dwells, we all know people take great care of sacred places and items. How much more are we to care for our whole selves: body, mind and spirit. Holiness transforms a person completely and holiness says: “I must not be defiled.” Cruelty will defile you, so love: truly truly love.

 

I AM Truly Happy!

The strangest thing has been happening to me within the last couple of days.

I’ve been feeling happy and joyful. Extremely happy and joyful! The happiest I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve honestly never been happy before. There were days I’ve felt really really low and my somewhat good days were when I felt numb. I was that girl that got her work done, laughed with friends but deep inside I was sad.

One day recently, I just stopped and noticed that I no longer felt sad, numb or worried. I enjoy living in the moment and any turbulence in my life is met with prayer. I think that was the turning point in my life, when I turned to God in prayer. I prayed for most of my life, but my prayer life has changed drastically when I realized these few things:

  1. God is sovereign: He is in complete control.
  2. God is loving and kind: seriously, He really loves us!
  3. I no longer had to hide away from Him in anyway: intimacy was something I always wanted but then I realized that true intimacy starts with God; baring my whole heart to Him without fear.
  4. I stopped subconsciously trusting people. I was always cynical by nature but even cynical people deep down are afraid of being hurt. While, I am wiser now and enforce proper boundaries with people, I hold everyone and everything loosely.
  5. I enjoy people for who they are, right now. Not who I want them to be or who I think they are and not fearing if they will hurt me in the future. Guess what, they will and might but I’ll be okay.
  6. Take everything to God in prayer: take ALL of your concerns to God. Every single one of them, including the small ones. I tell Him everything and I pray at all times.
  7. I forgive: this is a big one. People have forgiveness all wrong. They think forgiveness means hanging out with said offender. Uhm, no. Some people are just too toxic and dangerous for that. Forgiveness is something God strengths us to do. Just because it’s a command in the Bible, doesn’t mean it’s something we produce in our own strength. Remember, if we abide in Christ, who is the Vine, He will abide in us and we will produce good fruit. When I pray for my enemies, it opens my heart for the power of God to transform it. I have come to the place where I do not want anyone or anything to come between me and my God.
  8. There’s more but I cannot think of them at the moment. (HA HA)

I’ve been feeling so happy lately that it makes no sense. It leaves me feeling very uncomfortable at times. I’ve gotten so use to being sad that now when I’m happy, I have no idea how to behave.

However, I am excited about my future. I try not to look too far ahead but as I am enjoying my life, day to day, I have come to accept that everyday is a step towards a brighter future.

Depression is a real struggle. It’s a battle for your LIFE. Not just your mind or your emotions, not even your body, but your LIFE. Satan wants to snuff you out! It doesn’t matter if you are a Christian or not, Satan’s goal is to destroy as many people as He can before His time is up. Literally, the personification of “misery loves company.”

He will try to mess with your mind: there are many influences out there that are anti-God and anti-Christ that has even seeped into the Church. He will use your childhood experiences, your failures, hurts and pains to make you feel utterly hopeless.

The moment I decided that I hated Satan, God’s enemy, was the day my life changed. What does this mean you ask? Well, I began to see the commands of God differently. I see holiness as security and protection. I saw it as worship to God. I now see holiness as my weapon of mass destruction against Satan’s kingdom. I start seeing obedience as worship to a God that I love. When I focus on God, Satan cannot win. The righteousness of God transforms me and allows me to be an agent of peace wherever I go. Then the love of God will spread to everyone I meet. It will touch someone. I might not know I am touching someone’s life, but God knows.

You see, I am not an active witness and I don’t plan to be unless God says otherwise. And I’ve come to accept that it’s okay to be exactly who I am. I am my best being simply who I am.

I guess I’m done, have a great weekend! ♥

The Way Papa God Loves Me

I cannot hide from you, O Lord. Your love is so large and too grand to contain, to comprehend.

And yet,it is that love that captivates my soul and brings me to tears. It is that love that changes me.

Lord, you are willing to talk to me, personally. “Let’s talk,” you’d say. “Let’s work things out, my precious daughter,” you’d tell me.

You are a fair Papa with no favorites. I know you are just and I can trust you with my life. You do not leave me wandering in the dark, lost and confused. You counsel me along the way. You comfort me when the heart is bleeding. Wounds that time won’t heal.

You deal with me personally. You are not a generic God. A one-size- fits-all-kinda-problem-solver.

You get right to the heart of the matter. You are brutally honest, your word cuts me down but brings me to life, a better life. Hanging out with you makes me more like you, the ultimate role model!

Thank you sweet Papa God for your everlasting and unfailing love. 

God’s Love is Beautiful

I wrote this on June 18th 2016 and presented it to my church. The LORD put it in my heart to share this with everyone. It’s my prayer for whoever reads it.

Love births change.

With love, we flourish, we strive, we live, we finally start living.

The love God has for us is complete and perfect.

Our worth doesn’t come from our size, body type or the people we know.

Our worth isn’t defined by our occupation or our achievements or failures.

Our worth doesn’t come from a man or a woman but from God alone.

We don’t have to do anything to win his love, it’s already freely given.

God is truly in love with us, obsessed with us. He is always concerned about every tiny aspect of our lives.

Just like a loving parent that knows everything about their children, so does our heavenly father know us.

It is embracing the intimacy of his love that we learn that it’s alright to trust him. That his love goes beyond this life and beyond us and extended to every other person.

It is in this love that we change, find hope and peace. God made each of us unique with different talents and skills. Use it to give him glory and help one another. Shine bright in the uniqueness that God has created you, for in that lies your true beauty.

A beautiful person is one who fears the Lord.

I challenge everyone, including myself to find the beauty in God’s love. It is in his love that we find security and true peace. It is in his love that we find the power and grace to live for him and sharing the gospel through out words and actions.

One Day At a Time Little One

Mathew 7: 21-23
True Disciples
“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’
I keep having reoccurring themed dreams about my university. I truly feel at this point in time, my heart is opening up to the idea of using the rest of my life, energy and talents for investing in the Kingdom of God.
However, there are many times where I feel confused about which talent I should invest in, which direction to go and how to even get started. There are days the confusion weighs heavy on my heart and there are days I feel I can’t do anything.
 I do know the urgency of walking in the will of God but I have no understanding of timing.
 What does this have to do with the scripture you ask? Well, I truly feel that doubt, fear and anxiety are not of God and reflects a lack of trust in him. I have to keep telling myself that he will show me everything at the right time, all I have to do is let him fix me, mold me and purge me into the woman I am to be.
 However, while investing too much into fixing the world and using my so called God given talents and gifts, I don’t ever want to lose my way. I don’t ever want to get so caught up that I forget to keep the law of God. I love the law of God. I love it because I know it’s for my benefit and those around me. I also know it brings joy to God because he is the pure essence of love and holiness. So, instead of focusing on something that is in many ways out of my control , at this time, I will use my energy to seek the face of God. Search for understanding: of him and my role in his master plan of salvation for the world. Because this is HIS SHOW, not mine. All I can do is walk with him in purity.
Mattthew 6:33-34
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
 Sources: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A33&version=ESV
Youversion.com

 

Something I must share.

This is a random post. Random and unedited.

As a christian who struggles daily and fails daily, at times I wonder if I could have support from a church that loves and serves God in Spirit and truth. Sadly, I haven’t been to church in the last few years because their sermons and how they present themselves do not line up with the Word of God. I know no one is perfect, none of us are but we should not make light our sins, and the sins of the world. We should not laugh or joke about sin. We should not make references to sin. We should not celebrate sin. We should run from it at all cost. When we fall, we should find it in ourselves to get up and cling to Christ. We should also help each other to serve God better. We should do so in love. We should not be afraid to stand up for what is right. I’m so sick and tired of seeing wishy washy Christians. No, not the ones who struggle with sin but those that CONDONE sin. There is a big difference.

I learned the difference recently. I use to live in condemnation because I thought I was suppose to be perfect. However You can tell alot about a person based on what they say and their attitude. If anyone were to ask me, I’d admit that I am someone who struggles with doing the right thing. I struggle to read my bible and pray. I struggle because I focus on the wrong thing. I focus more on my works than on Jesus. This is my personal struggle. However, lately I’ve noticed that the body of christ justifies sin. There is no remorse, repentance nothing. It’s a free for all, all is right kind of church. We judge those who try to do the right thing and praise and exalt all who live in sin with joy.

I remember the day I got saved. I prayed to God because I knew that he was the source of all good. I knew his word to be true. I knew that I was fallen and sinful. I knew that my disobedience was because i didn’t have God in my life. I knew I needed him. To this day the struggle is REAL. Being a christian isn’t easy. We struggle with our flesh daily. Sometimes we fall. We go through dry seasons where we lack joy and peace. We cry. However, We TRY.

Being a christian isn’t about perfection it’s about repentance and grace. It’s about humility and love. I’m tired of the church. I’m tired of seeing the church condone what is wrong. Why are we so caught up with what the world thinks about us? Then I realized that the church is also full of sinners. The body of Christ is made up of believers but the building can house non-believers and the saved. We are known by our fruits. So, I decided never to argue about religion. When people curse you for believing in God, just bless them and go on your way. When they call you hypocrite, go on your way. Focus on Jesus not your sins. Focus on getting back up after a fall. Focus on love. Focus on forgiveness. Let God show you exactly what you should be doing with your skills and talents. Don’t let the church fool you. We have alot of false prophets floating around preaching a wishy-washy gospel. I love the life changing gospel of Christ. Christ who came to forgive and his spirit that exposes truth.

I apologize for my unedited ramble but I’m very sure the things I’ve seen was to bring me to my own repentance and to see the truth within myself. I don’t ever want to be the person who condones sin. I don’t ever want to glorify satan with my life. The struggle is real.

This is my prayer, the the church will rise up and stand for what is right in love. I pray for all my sisters and brothers in Christ who struggle daily with sin. I pray for Christians around the world who are persecuted because of their love for God. I pray for those who are seeking Jesus and that they may find him soon. I pray for those that are hurting, may you find peace in Jesus. I pray for myself, that my life and my struggles in the end give God the glory. Let my words and my life and my attitude align with the Word of God. In Jesus Name, Amen.

 

The struggle is real but God is in control.

Who am I?

In pain I can find joy. To see my humanity and  finally admit that I am nothing without the Almighty.

Who am I? Who am I in a world that is not my home? Who am I in a crowd that forsakes the ONE?

It’s so easy to get caught up in a lie. Easy to believe a lie. To believe that you will always stay in a rut, that no one loves you, that you’re not good enough, that you have something to prove. God’s love is unconditional. His love covers our sins and our short comings. His love will take us out of the pit and place us in his heavenly home. His love completed everything so we have nothing to prove.

True Joy comes from identity in Christ. Becoming more and more Christ-like everyday. The devil is real and he sends people, circumstances etc to distract us. We also wrestle with our flesh and it’s desires. The price was already paid and we are already heaven bound from the moment we repented and accepted Christ as our savior. However, we must restate our allegiance daily. We must keep focused on our destination: heaven. We don’t have to fight but just STAND. Stand with the armor of God. If we are overcome with too much, continue to stand and hide under the protection of God.

It’s so easy to forget who we are in a world that is not our home. It’s so easy to run away from God because we are afraid or want a faster solution. I am willing to admit that as a Christian I fall short daily and I fall short miserably. However, by the Grace of God I can run to him and ask for forgiveness. I can press the reset button and keep moving. It is by diligence and perseverance that we can see the face of God.

So today, I challenge myself and those reading to claim their inheritance and identity everyday. Say out loud ” I am a child of God. Christ has forgiven me and I have a new identity in him.” Don’t be afraid of anything. Be courageous!

 

Finding Joy in the Highs and the Lows.

There is always something happening every moment of the day. However, it might take weeks, months or years to finally understand it. Sometimes it’s best to be still, enjoy the experience, and then reflect.

I can write a list of all I am thankful for but right now the most confusing but important is my RELATIONSHIP with God.

Relationships are not easy: days of joy, happiness, doubt and confusion.

The bible mentions so much about perseverance:

1 Thessalonians 1:3    We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:2-5 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

1 Corinthians 9:24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 

We are to continue and persevere no matter what. Faith that despite how horrible we are, how distant God feels sometimes, how horrible life/world can be heaven is our goal. We must breathe and live it.

As I started my quest to better health, I realized I was borderline obsessed. That’s exactly how it should be. It’s hard maintaining self control or finding time to exercise, but I make time. It’s no different with how we are to live out our spiritual walk.

Yo-yo, Luke warm spiritual life that God warned us about and I’ve fallen victim to many times.

I think I’m learning something valuable here. That we can spend our whole time listing everything wonderful in our lives but only through EFFORT will things change.

It starts in the mind flows through the heart and ends in action. You have to want it more than you want it.

So if there is anything I am thankful for , it is knowing how to deal with the lows in relationships and mainly the one that matters the most.

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Wake Up-Transitioning…

I am going through a heavy transition in my life mentally, physically and lastly spiritually. I say lastly because it’s the part of me that is the most stubborn, tattered and lost.

I want to start off by saying that there is every reason for me to be happy. As I am happy, even when things are far from my idea of perfection, I know that there are miracles happening all around me.

However, the most confusing part is my spiritual life. I posted about this before – bad habits die hard. It’s not only habits but mindsets, expectations and just the way I was raised. You know, silly things that I take for granted. Letting one bad thing slip, or noticing that I think a certain way or entertain a certain feeling or attitude.

I become a busy body when I’m running away from something. AGAIN. Some of us are stubborn and need a kick to the rump before realizing that God is tugging at our hearts to look at him.

How caught up I am in my own personal goals, living life, trying to make the best of life without him being part of it.

How dare I do such a thing. You would think after all he’s done for me I’d get with the program.

What happened to the luster of worship. The passion in reading the word. The humility in bowing down in prayer. When since talking to him became a burden? Why can’t I pour out my heart to him? Why do I always feel the need to pour out my heart to others? Even though I do not, I want to more than I admit.

So many emotions, so many, too many things…

No wonder stress is common in our day and age. But is that really an excuse?

I have so much to be thankful for and yet no gratitude shown to the one who is responsible for it all.

I exclaim ” Thank God” or ” By the grace of God” But such empty words if I don’t tell him first.

“TELL HIM FIRST. ” “HIM FIRST.”

It’s not about me. Remember. It’s not a concert or one woman band. This is God’s world and I fit into it. Sounds weird to most but this is the truth. He made it and I fit into it. We are part of GOD’S PLAN! HIS PLAN.

Which means we consult him for OUR LIVES. MY LIFE.

So how dare we ( I ) think to put myself, others or anything before his plans.

The audacity. Get real. Stay true. I just have to be real. Humility is a gem. A wonderful skill, trait, personality, virtue to have. But it’s hard to come by, hard to maintain.

Humility. Knowing who you are and where you fit in. What’s my place?

I am not a god. I am not the protagonist in a book. I fit into HIS PLAN.

So who am I to take the place of the one who made the world?

Grace. I’m so thankful for it. Without it I wouldn’t have the opportunity to stand before God and speak with him without the stain of sin. Grace , the opportunity to allow God to do his job. Because sin, whether it is fornication, murder or PRIDE ( lack of humility) etc etc, destroys the bridge of communication.

 

Ever felt far away? On a distant planet away from the SUN? Felt cold and lifeless, empty, frail and afraid? Even when you think you are comfy under that blanket ( false security), not realizing it’s exactly what’s keeping you back. Not realizing that you should be doing everything in your power to lean towards the sun ( like some plants do).

Without our heavenly father we will fall. I will fall.

I don’t want to travel that path. Been there, done that and it was scary.

Scariest time. Deadly gamble of the soul. Don’t go there.

A WARNING. Danger lurks in hidden places.

Don’t let life, goals, negativity, your job…..NOTHING hinder you from making God primary!