Tag Archives: hope

There Is No Formula

Photo by Antoine Dautry on Unsplash

Photo by Antoine Dautry on Unsplash

You can’t approach God like a math problem to be solved.

You can’t find steps in the Bible, apply them, and expect an outcome.

I know people say you can, and preach about it…maybe it works for them,

but for me, that’s not the case. I didn’t find peace after praying. I didn’t even find joy in it.

I didn’t find immediate comfort after reading the bible, or seeking prayer from other Christians.

The only thing I did was wait.  I mean, seriously, I couldn’t manipulate the situation or change my feelings. I couldn’t fake happiness or joy. I couldn’t just think positively and fake it till I made it. I had to just sit in all of it and wait.

I couldn’t manipulate, convince or negotiate with God. I couldn’t get Him to do what I wanted with any of my actions.

I just woke up today feeling joyful. I stopped caring about a lot of things and just left it alone. I desperately needed rest. I rested for almost two months. In those two months I was miserable and overwhelmed. I tried everything : praying, crying, asking for advice, seeking prayer from Churches and Christians, singing, YOU NAME IT. Nothing worked.

Will I always feel joyful? I think I can but feelings are fleeting. People say joy isn’t influenced by our circumstances. It’s somewhat true but who can be joyful when something bad is happening at the moment? I mean, I want to believe that there is a time and a place for sorrow and joy. You can’t expect to be happy or joyful all the time. I think faith requires more than that. That you can be as hopeless as Job and Elijah in their seasons of struggle but still hold on to God.

God gave Elijah rest. Resting is so important. We fear losing everything if we rest but resting requires faith that God will take care of us. I had to let go of my need to control, plan and prosper and just rest.

Life can be tough. LIFE IS TOUGH. So why complicate it any more than it is. Hard work and rest has their due time and season.

There is no formula for joy. Just be alive and you’ll experience many different emotions, feelings and state of mind. The only hope we have is that we know God is real, He hears prayers and that He is the source of our well-being. I guess joy is just simply who you put your trust in.

Until next time,

You are loved…

Photo by Skye Studios on Unsplash

Photo by Skye Studios on Unsplash

Even if the whole world misunderstands you, judges you, hates you, rejects you, mistreats you, and you feel unloved, that’s OK. Your feelings are a byproduct of how you were treated. It doesn’t make you inferior or self-hating. We are humans and we bleed and cry and hurt.

People will kick you while you are down. They will tell you it’s all your fault. They will tell you that somehow you did something to make people treat you that way. You will shoulder all the burdens of other people’s actions, even if you have done nothing wrong.

New age false doctrine of how you can control how people treat you.

Where in the Bible do we see such things? Many times we are warned that we will suffer because of others. When were we ever called to take on that burden as a fault of our own?

Don’t worry, I’m giving you permission to cry. You have all the right to be upset, to feel pain. You have all the right to be sad. No one is happy all the time and true deliverance comes when you admit there is a problem.

But, let me remind you, as a loving friend would, that you are loved. You are loved by God. He sees your tears and your pain. You do not need to holler and scream worship music if you don’t feel like it. Sit with God quietly. Cry to God. Bare your hurts to him. He will comfort you.

And when he renews your strength you will rise up and smile again. You will find joy and peace once more.

This isn’t about those people that hurt you or even the people that misjudged you when you asked for help. It’s about you and God. He is better than any earthly friend. Better than a lover. He can mend a broken heart. He understands you better than anyone else can.

He will validate your feelings, other times correct you, all the time guide you and restore your strength.

There are hills and valleys in this journey with Christ. Sanctification, the pruning process, is difficult and painful.

You will begin to learn how to totally depend on God and walk with him. That your perfection or lack thereof means nothing. It’s all about trusting and having faith and it is then, that your life will change and take shape.

Human beings cannot replace God. Neither the things you strive for in life. These things will never ever touch the depths of your heart like God can.

So truly know that it’s okay and you’ll be OK.

 

With much love,

Restless

I’m restless and uncomfortable.

I’ve looked up the definition of restless and read a few articles on this emotion and everything about it is negative.

But, I’ve learned to listen to my feelings, at times, for clues as to what is going on with me.

I have concluded that it’s time for a major change. Change is approaching. I feel like I’m changing and it will be a good change.

I will embrace my feelings of restlessness. I refuse to accept certain elements in my life anymore. If I want change, I must embrace being uncomfortable. I must embrace uncertainty, fear and pain. I must embrace the hard work and pain that comes with birthing change.

When old habits die, you feel very uncomfortable. You become hyper vigilant and aware that something is missing.

No one takes a leap of faith when they are comfortable. No one changes or progresses in life while being comfortable! There is usually a turning point in your life that pushes you to take flight. Like a momma bird that pushes her baby out of the nest. That baby doesn’t think it’s ready. It doesn’t even know if it’s ready or not, but momma bird pushes it out and knows there are risk for their baby involved. But if I believe that God is real and loves me, even if I free fall to the earth, He will catch me as I learn to spread my wings and fly.

I want to fly. I want to expand. I want to develop. I want to struggle! I want to experience everything I know is godly possible.

Being perpetually comfortable is bondage!

Now I know something must change and I see my circumstances as the catalyst for my growth. I will use every bad and good experience as stepping stones to my destiny.

I want to say this:

I was accused of being many things, these last few days, while journeying within my frailties, and I want to extend a word of encouragement to those that are seeking and searching for something more than what they have:

Keep searching: Don’t allow anyone or anything to tell you to RELAX or BE AT PEACE or JUST WAIT. Yes, there are times for that but sometimes your restless seeking is part of growth. No one looks for anything if they already have the answers. ¿Comprende?

Don’t let anyone talk you out of what YOU KNOW. You will be presented with a lot of options and opinions….remove them! Get into a quiet mental space and write down your thoughts and feelings. Only worthy opinion is God himself at this stage of the game.

Isolate: Only from people you KNOW for a fact will not support you in anyway. I can’t stress this enough. Stop asking people for their opinion. Learn to navigate your own life!

Be open to learning : Learn hard skills, soft skills, biblical truths, Yourself, Who is God and what does he expect of you?, research, research, research, listen to pioneers that went before you, but don’t let it control you.

Rebuild what was lost: If it’s important, rebuild it. Cultivate it. Nurture it and watch it grow. You need a strong foundation to fall back on. A lesson I learned was that I wasn’t ready for certain things, as I was. I was growing and things were going well but I wasn’t firmly rooted in it. It was easy when adversity came to revert and undo everything I’ve worked so hard to establish. So, one part of the process is to become rooted and grounded in your beliefs, values and system of working. These things will surely help you when adversity and hardships come your way.

Fight for Christ: People will fight for lovers and family but is anyone willing to fight for their relationship with God? Like all relationships, there are ups and downs, including with the savior. So, fight with a vigor and don’t give up on Him.

I embrace change but I will also fight for it!

Until next time,

 

* disclaimer: images from a google search

 

 

 

What Do You Want?

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

This is an on whim post.

I am not only sharing this but it’s documentation for future reference. I will save this in the bin of things to read after a year or two.

This weekend was stressful. I haven’t had to deal with this issue in a long time and it was quite a shock for me to deal with it once again. You know when you get tired of dealing with an issue for years but feel trapped? You’ve tried everything possible but nothing works.

I’m going to be real and raw : when you pray to God and ask for help and he gives you 1 million encouraging words like : peace and hold on and go forth and be strong, only for you to stare that same problem in the face.

You’ve tried everything, nothing works. You reach out for help but people don’t care, don’t understand. They leave you there to figure it out on your own but wonder why you don’t want anything to do with them.

We live in a world where people are cruel. People don’t care about you until you’re dead. Then they will say, I wish I knew or I wish I had done something to prevent this from happening. But all the while, you had asked them for help but they didn’t care to help.

So one day, I was fed up and took a leap of faith. Where I am today was because of my own hard work, vision and faith in God.

I have made peace with the fact that people don’t care and are cruel. These people will try to kill your dreams. They will open their mouths and use their words to kill you. If you are in a broken place, they will succeed. The only way to protect yourself in a broken place is to have selective hearing.

YOU MUST SHUN AT ALL COST anything negative being spoken to you. It’s not anything  mystical, it’s a simple fact that your ears are a gateway to your heart. Your eyes and ears are gateways to your heart. Your mouth is the exit of your heart. So those people are speaking from what is in their hearts. But if you listen and observe what they are saying, they can begin to shape and mold you.

You must NOT allow anyone to plant that seed in your heart. Everything you become starts from your heart. This is why the Bible warns us about guarding our hearts.

The greatest way to silence your enemies is to continue living your life as if their words have no weight. Your mere presence is a threat to them and that’s their battle to fight.

So I ask, ” what do you want? What makes you happy?” Do what YOU want without apology. If it’s wrong, God will make it right. If it’s too far left, God will push it a little more to the left. Let GOD mold you, not people. Don’t you ever do anything simply because people say so, but because you know in your heart it’s the right thing to do. Everyone is living their lives, including those trying to dictate yours.

The greatest thing you could ever do is accept yourself as you are.

The way you are is perfect and God can use you as you are right now. Perfectionism is a sham. It’s just there to keep you crippled in an infinite loop of madness,  unlike the line of progression of authenticity.

Being authentic comes with a price: you will have people that love you and those that hate you. At first it might seem as if everyone hates you but there will be those that will identify you and admire you. The beauty of it is that when you were trying to please people and remain unnoticed by fitting in, people still hated you. But now  you know who loves you as the real you.

Everyone goes through this. The journey between childhood and adulthood is a turbulent one. It is an uncertain phase and you must learn to shift out what you have been taught with what is truth. Not everything taught is truth.

Who do you want to be? I stopped asking God what I should do with my life. You will either know from youth or walk into it as you live. Most of us walk into it. God doesn’t reveal things at once. If so, then we wouldn’t need him and life would be predicable. What would we learn? For those that already know, only know so much.

Life is like jumping in the dark. You can’t see beyond eye view and sometimes you can’t see at all. You must take jumps: some small and some big. Where you land, the floor tiles light up, enabling you to see. As you keep jumping,3 you are able to see what was behind you and from eye view, what’s around you. If you refuse to jump, you won’t be able to see or make progress.

We also jump in our own ways. Some of us only have one leg. Some of us have a crutch. Others have both legs. Some of us are taller and some shorter. Others of us are heavier and some lighter. The way we jump and how we land are influenced by these factors. People might say one way is better than the other but that’s not true. God made you as you are and even if it was from life’s circumstances, this is who you are. The way you jump and land is YOUR STORY and it’s a unique one. It’s YOURS. Striving for the unknown, best jump is not only ignorant but a waste of time. We shouldn’t strive to have the same story but to find ways to share our own unique stories. We will find our people. We will find common ground with those that jump differently but we are all here to motivate and encourage one another to jump.

When we bicker and fight we stop jumping. Then our world becomes dark and we can only see what’s behind us.

This year I’ve thrown down the veil of perfectionism and take up the mantle of faith.

I will walk as I am, talk as I am and live as I am. I will keep jumping and leaping and landing. I will let my leaps paint a picture of light around me.

With faith, no one can crush you. With faith, no one can take away your dreams or your joy. With faith, hope follows and with hope there is peace.

The bible says do not fear EVIL people with their wicked schemes.

Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Psalm 37:7 NLT

Just keep leaping and landing and one day you’ll find yourself where you need to be. The Lord is faithful to guide our imperfect steps. He is God and we are not. Accept who you are and cling tightly to the one who has the power to save you.

 

 

Being Honest with God

Photo by: Jon Flobrant on Unsplash.

After the Lord healed me from a chronic illness this year, I watched him order my steps even when I was confused or missed the mark. I had come to understand his love and concern for me.

I took a leap of faith and took tiny steps towards where I am today. I actually never imagined I would end up here. I was going in one direction and God lead me to another.

I had great setbacks and distractions. From health scares, to emotional and mental fatigue, I had to learn how to pray. I had to learn how to be led by the Holy Spirit. I had to trust daily in supernatural provision and health.

I found that it was easy to trust God in those times. My faith was soaring.

I was excited to see what else God could do.

However, there are parts of us that we hide from God. God knows our hearts, he knows everything, but there are parts of us that we do not want God to see. We don’t want God to touch us there because it hurts.

I knew I was in the process of deliverance. I knew it deeply and with a certainty. As much I tried my best to avoid it, it still happened. Everything in my heart came flooding out.

When God wants to heal you, you must first confess everything. You must be honest and open with HIM.

I was forced to look in a mirror. A mirror that I had broken. However, God fixed it and placed it right in front of me.

He told me I could have it. That very thing I didn’t want to face. He said that I didn’t need anyone’s permission but his. He said that he understands me and that he is a loving father that gives us good things when we ask HIM.

My faith wavered. In my anger I wondered why this even had to happen. I had a preconceived idea of how my life should look. I keep falling into this trap of thinking I know what is best for me. For hiding away my concerns and dreams from God.

I didn’t know I wanted this but it was seeping into my life in many unhealthy ways.

I truly believe that once we are open and honest and don’t feel ashamed of what we need, God will begin to prepare us for what we asked HIM for.

I am writing this on whim, and I am pouring out my heart to you in sincere honesty.

My hope is that you too can trust God with your heart. That you will open up to him and share with him ALL of what is inside of you, knowing that he is a good father that gives his children good gifts. Honoring his sovereignty, knowing he is all-knowing and in control.

He orders our steps, truly. I may not completely understand where He is taking me but I know he won’t lead me to destruction.

 

With love,

Freedom In Christ

Freedom is a mentality not a condition. How do I know this? Well, the Bible touches on many points about faith and belief in God. We are not putting our mental focus on ourselves, capabilities, or circumstances but we put our faith, hope and trust in Christ who saves us from sin and the sting of death. This brings healing and freedom that self-effort cannot.

It took me two years to become who I am today. We all know that I have been alive for a couple years now (Laugh ) but what I mean is, the transformed person I am today took two years. It was a grueling process of God exposing things in my heart and then making a decision to seek God for help. At first it was hard and confusing. It was unbearable and I found myself running away from God or hiding from Him. Other times I’d get angry, throw a tantrum and say I’m doing my own thing. Lately, I have seen a big change in my response to God. I don’t hide, I don’t run and I don’t throw tantrums. I have learned the seriousness of falling on my face and seeking the Lord for guidance and healing. My mind has changed. No longer do I see things how I use to. In the past, I would be anxious and flighty. Wanting everything to be perfect and instant. But today, I understand the importance of waiting on God and perseverance. Paul says we must run the good race and fight the good fight. David encourages the saints to wait PATIENTLY on God. I have learned that blessings aren’t necessarily material like people want to force feed us today. Blessings are wrapped up in the gift of a relationship with God through Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. Blessings are the fruit we produce as we stay connected to the vine (Christ). Blessings can be found in the little daily provisions and the little hands and feet God sends to minister to us. It’s not always about wealth, power and success. It is not about being the best or a know-it-all. It is about receiving God, walking with God and being transformed by God.

Freedom is not a condition. I’m quite sure the same people that made me feel bad for not attaining a certain status or place in life, would have the same thing to say now. Back then, I was very distraught over these things. I would try to work harder and better only to fall right back on my face. But the me now doesn’t care. Say what you want but I am where I need to be. I may not be rich, I may not have flashy things and I may not have much BUT I AM NOT THE SAME! I have changed! The Lord brought me out of my mental Egypt, took the shackles off my mind and melted the cold ice from around my heart. He dried up tears and touched my aching body. So it would be offensive and disrespectful to throw it all in God’s face because of things people say to me. It would be so offensive to throw it all in God’s face when in my mind and spirit I am at peace. I would not trade this for any amount of riches in this world. I have something…a treasure…that no one can take away! I am an asset not a liability.

I hope this encourages you, reader, to accept and have hope. If you are poor and struggling, sick and discouraged; if you feel hurt and betrayed etc. turn your focus on God. Tell Him all that bothers you. Throw your tantrums, cry, scream and yell but whatever you do, don’t turn away. God will meet you where you are and He will help you. That is a promise. Jesus said He is the bread of life and the living waters. He will quench and satisfy the longings of our soul. He will build you up and make you like a strong tree.

One day you will wake up and be at total peace. Nothing on the outside might have changed but YOU CHANGED. Don’t cling to God for material blessings. Christ is more than enough. You must be so in love with Christ that even the threat of death will not turn you away. You must be able to walk away from anything that will come between you and God. That is true freedom!

Good Morning!

I woke up today so happy. Nothing has changed at all, but I am full of joy. There is hope in this life and the next. Hope and security in knowing that my God is always with me. That nothing can separate us. People may be able to destroy my body, but they cannot separate my spirit from God’s spirit. People might try to persuade me to go the opposite direction, but if I know God’s word and his promises, I will always choose the right way. Life troubles come and go, but through it all, I can talk to God and let his words comfort me.

The best thing to wake up everyday to is PURPOSE. It’s an awesome feeling when God gives clarity to a situation. When He makes the way clear. The cloud of confusion is gone. So everyday you set out with direction towards a known goal,  (WOOO!) and that goal leads into the ultimate dream.

 

You Are Not Condemned

Anyone that speaks condemnation over your life is not of God. The bible tells us in John 3:16 that God so loved the world that he gave us Jesus Christ and that whoever believes in him has eternal life.

It is one thing to determine and judge the nature of a person, but it is another thing to condemn someone and speak on God’s behalf when you don’t even know what is going on in someone’s heart. Usually, we judge a person to determine the company we keep and the influences around us, but we are not God.

If you believe in Jesus Christ and follow him, you are saved. It doesn’t matter what you did or are struggling with. Notice I say struggle. We do not become perfect overnight but it is a process that the Holy Spirit takes us through.

If God based our future on who we were in the past, do you think we would even have the bible we have today? David was not only a womanizer, he was a murder: killed a man for his wife. Yet, he was still considered a man after God’s own heart. Moses also killed a man. Apostle Paul persecuted the early Christians but later became the main apostle to the gentiles.

What amazes me about some of us , is that, we can be so happy for another person’s testimony. A man or woman that was caught up in drugs. Lived a horrible lifestyle, treated people horribly, but they share their wonderful testimony and everyone is so happy and applauding. But make someone in your own personal life go through these things. Make this person do something bad to you and it doesn’t matter if this person has changed and is sharing their testimony, no ounce of mercy or forgiveness is shown. It amazes me, we love success stories but we do not like the process.

We say we love people but we smile in their faces, pretend we want to pray for them but in our hearts we are just sizing them up. To see if they are worthy of what God is blessing them with. We don’t bat an eye when people that blatantly disregard God is financially prospering but let someone in the faith prosper, we turn a side eye or question why them.

Instead of looking in our own hearts, we are trying to appease our flaws by putting someone else down.

No one is perfect and no one can save themselves. We all fall short. Some of us fall miserably. There are consequences in life, yes. But wow I truly understand the significance of what Jesus did for that woman that was going to be stoned. Jesus said ” he who is without sin throw the first stone.”

We are all guilty, at some point, of believing that we are better than others. That our own mess don’t stink. We are guilty of believing that God plays favorites. God has no favorites, he loves us all. From the righteous to the unrighteous, his love and mercy pours down on us all. And remember, we were all unrighteous at some point. We weren’t born saved.

We have a false sense of love and mercy in this world. We believe that actions is all that love is. But, I pray for you and I feed you. I give you everything and yet my heart towards you is like poison. We must be full of love, even within our hearts. Our prayers and actions must come from a sincere place. And if this is not possible, remove yourself from that person’s presence and seek the Lord. Don’t hang around and try to push people down. Don’t hang around and continue the cycle of hate. If you KNOW BETTER, DO BETTER. With much knowledge comes responsibility.

As Jesus always say ” He who has an ear, let him hear.” Not every message is timely but if you have the right heart condition to heed this message, LISTEN.

The way you treat someone can greatly affect their walk with God. You can greatly discourage a person who is trying to live right. This is a message for all of us. We are constantly called to forgive and to allow God to wash our hearts daily.

Will we always get it right? NO! But at the same time, we must be mindful and always strive to do better.

 

The Beauty of Death

There is nothing in my head,

Nothing at all.

Empty, dead, what is there to find?

No matter how you try to look at it , everything died along with it.

Can’t cry, don’t need to cry anymore because one must accept that where there is a beginning, there is finally an end.

A beautiful end, a happily ever after.

The funny thing is, God can always rewrite your story. Cuz you see, we had a script we wanted to play but God’s vision for us is the masterpiece. 

So, I’m allowing my mind to die today. The beauty of death is the life in it, a life no one can take away.

To The Sick Everywhere

You know being sick sucks. It’s draining, life changing and in many ways damaging. However, lately I’ve been thinking about how we as sick people look at life. Do you sit around moping or do you get up and try to change your world each day at a time? I’ve had people ask me why I’m so happy. I am honestly not quite happy but I do know and accept ( for the most part) that I need to do what I can to change my perception. It’s not about mysticism, it’s not about self- help, it’s about trusting in GOD! YES! Life isn’t easy and some of us are blessed with supportive friends, families and doctors, but honestly, some of us don’t. Sometimes people and life WILL fail us. However, God will never fail us. He is in every way perfect and in every way loving. If it wasn’t for faith a year ago, I wonder where I’d be today. Would I be full of depression, sorrow, no hope for a future? Would I be devastated that In many cases I am unloved even by kin? I know some people reading don’t believe in God and some might but not in Jesus Christ. Let me tell you, Jesus is the only way to true inner peace. He becomes bigger than your problems, your illnesses, your past, and your present. He becomes bigger than the people that hurt you. You start learning how to relax and find peace in his love and mercy. You begin to see the beauty in the new life he has given you. How does this happen? Well, I have to say that being perfect is out of the question. You can’t buy God’s love. You also can’t work for it. However, you will have to give up a lot of things you hold dearly. Those things are pride, hate, anger, bitterness, laziness, addictions. It will be a process! However, don’t worry, Jesus gave us a counselor who is better than any therapist and his name is Holy Spirit. He’s awesome. He’s a very gentle spirit. He won’t leave you to figure it out on your own. Everything you need, he has it. Just ask him.

I am far from perfection. Everyday I am humbled by his love for me. Despite all the bad in my life, I’ve decided to cling to the good. No matter where you find yourself today, give it to Jesus. This isn’t just a message for those who are ill but for those who feel hopeless, rejected, afraid or bound by addictions. There is hope but it’s only found in the messiah.