Tag Archives: Patience

Wait Patiently On The Lord

 

Photo by: Diana Simumpande on Unsplash.

 

Joy is not a feeling. Joy is a response. I have been pushing myself to feel happy, pretending that everything is okay and that is not true joy.

I realized, a personal revelation of sorts, that joy is simply finding hope and security in Christ. We based our faith on our emotions, on what we don’t understand or can’t do and that cannot be further from the truth.

Only God is perfect. Even God has feelings. He gets angry, sad and happy. So why are we forcing ourselves to be happy all the time? Why are we being fake and manufacturing emotions that we don’t have,

True intimacy is formed in honest, open communication.  Job, a righteous man that lost everything, went boldly before the Lord with ALL of his concerns. He was in anguish and pain. He lost his children, his money and even his health. His friends and his wife were not supportive but judged him. Job was alone.

The sign of maturity is feeling pain, confusion and anguish but running to God for answers. Job waited patiently for God to answer but he didn’t stop praying. Job prayed until he emptied out his heart.

I remembered how I was treated when I didn’t have it altogether. I was sick and going through a lot and instead of understanding and compassion, I was judged and criticized, just like Job. Looking back, I am tempted to stay angry but my eyes have opened to the situation I was in.

People strive on being fake. On being strong on the outside to prove they have it altogether. People do not understand the beauty in brokenness before God. Falling on one’s face before the Lord and crying out to Him.

You can sit there with your fake praises. You can sit there with your fake HALLELUJAH’s when you know deep in your heart you do not believe one word you are saying. God knows our hearts, we cannot lie to Him. We are only lying to ourselves.

David, another man of God, was also misunderstood and alone. He spent most of his life being rejected, misunderstood and in hiding but in his pain and loneliness he cried out to God. He expressed his anger, frustration, and fear. He told God how he truly felt.

The amazing part is, the more we pray, the Holy Spirit steps in and changes our prayers. As we read his scriptures for comfort, we begin to find hope and strength. God renews our strength.

He will renew your strength. He will strengthen you. He will open your eyes to see things differently. He is a place of safety from the harsh realities of life, people and circumstances.

You can do everything right like Job and still face adversity. I had to learn, for myself, that doing good and being righteous is not a get-out-of trouble card. Trouble comes. Confusion will come. Pain will find you. It is an inevitable part of life.

But in our moments of pain, run to God and then wait patiently on him.

A Gentle Reminder…

I want to take the time to address something I’ve been going through this week. My aim is to share my thoughts, feelings and the way I want to solve this issue.

I am naturally an ambition person. From since I was a child, I had goals, dreams ,  aspirations and set out to accomplish them all. Then life hit me. I was sick for a very long time.

I tried everything to get better from changing my diet to seeing different doctors but no one could help me. I was dismissed too. It was a very troubling time for me. My life came to a screeching halt.

This week I was feeling very anxious. I wanted things to change. I was restless again. Seeking any way I could change my reality. However, I had to pause. I had to take a deep breath and analyze my emotions. My feelings are so harsh. Why am I being so harsh on myself? I push myself daily to do things I couldn’t do a few years ago, even a few months ago. I made mistakes along the way but honestly, I should be celebrating the little accomplishments. But I couldn’t because I’m stuck in the future. I had to reel myself back into the present. I had to make up my mind to thank God for where I am today. I am a completely different person: new mindset, new outlook and doing a lot more than I’ve ever thought I could. Yes, it took years to get here, but so what! I should be thanking God for life! I should be thanking God that I can finally walk longer than a block without assistance. No longer throwing up my food. No longer feeling so tired I couldn’t get out of bed. Now, I can take very long walks. I can do light exercise! God revealed to me  the food that makes me sick (long but amazing testimony). My skin is glowing. I sleep like a normal person most of the time. Yes, I do have aches and pains…..BUT SO WHAT! When I get so caught up in the future, I must remind myself that slow and steady wins the race. One day I’ll look back at my youth and say…..she never gave up! She obeyed and trusted in God and look at what He’s done!

“Be kind to yourself”, I tell myself. “The whole world is harsh already. God loves you just the way you are. He knows your heart, He sees that you want to soar the clouds so badly, but learn to trust in Him for strength even in the ditch. A wise man said that you learn valuable lessons in the ditch. Lessons and skills that will help you once you reach the sky. Thank God, with a heart of gratitude for all your little accomplishments. You have nothing to prove to anyone but a testimony is being written as you live each day. Clothe yourself with joy and let the peace of God be your compass. The greatest accomplishment you can ever achieve in life is your God given calling and assignment. Everything else is to add a little flavor in between. Whatever God calls you to, He will get you to it. I owe Him my whole life.”

Much love to you all.

One Day At a Time Little One

Mathew 7: 21-23
True Disciples
“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’
I keep having reoccurring themed dreams about my university. I truly feel at this point in time, my heart is opening up to the idea of using the rest of my life, energy and talents for investing in the Kingdom of God.
However, there are many times where I feel confused about which talent I should invest in, which direction to go and how to even get started. There are days the confusion weighs heavy on my heart and there are days I feel I can’t do anything.
 I do know the urgency of walking in the will of God but I have no understanding of timing.
 What does this have to do with the scripture you ask? Well, I truly feel that doubt, fear and anxiety are not of God and reflects a lack of trust in him. I have to keep telling myself that he will show me everything at the right time, all I have to do is let him fix me, mold me and purge me into the woman I am to be.
 However, while investing too much into fixing the world and using my so called God given talents and gifts, I don’t ever want to lose my way. I don’t ever want to get so caught up that I forget to keep the law of God. I love the law of God. I love it because I know it’s for my benefit and those around me. I also know it brings joy to God because he is the pure essence of love and holiness. So, instead of focusing on something that is in many ways out of my control , at this time, I will use my energy to seek the face of God. Search for understanding: of him and my role in his master plan of salvation for the world. Because this is HIS SHOW, not mine. All I can do is walk with him in purity.
Mattthew 6:33-34
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
 Sources: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A33&version=ESV
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