Tag Archives: Peace

Teacher – I Have A Question!

Photo by Marcos Luiz Photograph on Unsplash

Photo by Marcos Luiz Photograph on Unsplash

I’m stumped! I have no advice to give you, maybe some words of encouragement but here is just a glimpse of a mind full of questions.

What do you do when a situation makes absolutely no sense. It makes sense based on patterns, human nature and folly, wickedness, sin, and just simply life. But, I hear all the time Christian leaders tell us to have expectation, to speak to our situation etc.

If God is sovereign, if his ways are higher than ours, if his wisdom is meant to confuse the wisest of men, what are we to expect? What about those that are martyred for the faith? Those that lose everything? What about people that die despite trusting God?

I remember, last year, I was sick and I told God that I loved him. I washed my face, fixed my hair and got dressed. I set out to live my best life , sick and poor.

I am simply going to make that same confession: God, I love you. You healed me last year and even though things are not exactly how I want them, I am going to fix my hair, wash my face and get dressed. I am going to serve you afraid. I will serve you confused. I will serve you as I am, where I am and with what I have.

I have no answers. I cannot put the puzzle pieces together. I don’t even know what the puzzle looks like. I have no clue what God is doing but all I do know is that I love him. He has done more than enough for me. He is my strength, even now.

All I can expect in this life are two things: Human suffering and that Christ died and rose for me. Because of what He did, I have eternal life. That is the only guarantee in life. I could lose my life, all my material possessions, friends and family but the only thing that remains is my faith and the hope of salvation.

How God chooses to help me, if he even helps me – is his business. I won’t complain or tell him what to do.

The greatest peace I had was waking up and going on with life with the goal of living! I will not just survive, I will strive. I will utilize all that I am and all that I have.

I am thankful. He gave me everything I needed to face the unknown storm heading my way.

It’s like reaching new levels in a game. After winning each level you gain new skills, higher XP and learn better strategies to overcome. Each level makes you stronger.

Daniel 3:16-28(NKJV)

16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. 17 If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. 18 But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.”

Read the rest from the link above…

To those that lost everything or might lose everything, to those that are suffering in different ways, and those that were taught to speak to their situations and to believe in the false doctrine of the Law of Attraction, hear me:

Trusting in God does not mean bad things won’t happen. Trusting in God doesn’t mean you can speak to a situation and change it. God decides in the end when and how things will end. You must reach a place where you are willing to lose everything for Christ. To accept that persecution and troubles are part of life and especially the Christian life. We are not promised riches, fame or anything these false prophets have shoved down our throats.

Photo by Joshua Hanks on Unsplash

Photo by Joshua Hanks on Unsplash

Our goal is sanctification – pruning and refinement. To become virtuous – humble, meek, gentle and kind. To have great faith and to walk in holiness. These things will never fade away.

God has the power to save us from all trouble but we must learn and be willing to learn. It isn’t always about our comfort. God is not a genie. But He did say he is our friend, our comforter and guide. We don’t know what kind of life God has planned for us, but all I know is that whatever it is, it is ultimately for our good and the good of those around us.

Keep the faith,

 

Don’t Numb The Pain – You Have A Choice!

Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

One of the greatest things I’ve done in life was sit through the pain. I didn’t run away, didn’t rationalize, didn’t find unhealthy ways to cope. I dropped everything and sat in my anger, shame and pain.

I sat there and embraced it, completely.

It was in my pain that I saw a loving God and the strength he has given me. In that lonely and painful time, it was then, that I realized that I am in full control over my decisions and actions. I decided, that the greatest power I have, is wielding my faith and holding on to my integrity. All the pain:  self-inflicted or caused by others, was not going to make me into a horrible  person.

I knew I ready won. No one can take God or my integrity away from me.

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

I can do good and be good.

I can rise above the pain of life.

I can hold on to what I truly believe in.

I can explore life with faith.

I also accepted that I knew nothing about the promises of God. It’s not enough to do good deeds, we need to know why we do them.

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

We do good to off balance evil.

We do good to help others.

We do good to glorify God

We do good for our own future – storing up treasures in heaven that never rot or decay.

Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

The sight of heaven and being with God as a reward, made it easier for me to press on. Our mistakes and failures are meaningless under grace. We have a choice, every new day, to chase after God and his ways. We must be willing to throw out human opinion and fear of man to rise up. We will be misunderstood, hated and suffer all kinds of things when we decide to follow God. But, don’t focus on that. Focus on God and what he tells you to do. No one can make you do anything or be anything. No one has that power unless you give it to them.

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash

It’s a choice that affects every other choice you make.

Always aim to choose wisely.

How God Used Web Development To Prune Me

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

It’s about time I talk about my journey in Web Development. If you follow me on twitter, you will see tweets about events I’ve attended, splashed here and there.

My journey started in late 2017. I learned HTML, CSS and JavaScript fundamentals in a class setting. It was an amazing experience. I fell in love with code: mainly design (JavaScript kicks my butt, but I haven’t given up) and I’m now learning WordPress and PHP.

I learned so much over the span of this experience. It was difficult. At first, it was like a dream. I was excited and dedicated. Then life hit me, and I had to make decisions that challenged my faith.

I mentioned in a previous post about attending a Boot Camp. Well, that was an eye opening experience in itself. I want to start of by saying that the aim of this post is to serve as a source of  encouragement and also a teaching lesson. I almost lost everything – including my life – BUT it was all God’s plan and it was only at this moment that I could fully accept this as truth.

You might remember my angry posts. My posts about not being happy and losing joy. I was in a very dark place. I was worried I lost everything – all that God had given me – over something so stupid.

I won’t get into details over what that thing was but the root of it was – I wasn’t solid in my understanding of who God is. This was a teaching moment for me and God was going to let me fall on my face so I could understand.

We must be rooted in God’s love for us. My greatest fear happened to me and I was thrown off course. I was upset – I questioned God. How could He allow the very thing I was trying to avoid. I was content with where I was and where I was going. I was content with the future I had planned out for myself. It was as if God led me right into my fears and then left me alone to see how I would respond. Prayers were not answered: I ran to and fro to anyone that could give me counsel. I was embarrassed and ashamed.

by: Tim Mossholder

by: Tim Mossholder

I began to doubt God’s love for me and my heart grew dark. I was angry with God. I wanted to shut down my blog – I felt as if I was living a lie. How could I write about joy when my joy is gone? I knew I had to be honest. I knew I couldn’t lie about how I was feeling.

The boot-camp was not the thing that made me angry with God, but because I was angry, I couldn’t hear God’s voice. God’s voice leads us in our choices in life. Well, my spiritual ears were blocked so I couldn’t hear or recognize that God was telling me not to go.

I worked so hard for this opportunity. Every door slammed in my face during admissions. I finally made it to the end and awaited judgement. Verdict: access denied. I was so upset. I worked so hard just to push down every door that closed in my face. I received a call back, saying a spot was opened that I can fill. I accepted but I wasn’t able to celebrate with sincerity. Honestly, at this point, I was so upset with God that I threw everything out the window. I stopped praying, etc and I was beginning to revert to a part of me I didn’t like. I tried to tell myself this was a miracle – but deep down I wasn’t so sure this was God opening a door for me. It felt more like He gave me what I wanted because I threw a horrible tantrum.

Everything was fine in the beginning. I had this major distraction in my life. It was a person. I realized that every time I’m about to do something important in life – a distraction comes my way in the form of a person. This person undermined everything I sought out to accomplish. At first, person was nice and sweet but over time, person began to chip away at my core beliefs. Person tore me down. I made excuses for person. I thought person was my friend and had my back. I want to warn you: be cautious of who you allow in your inner circle. Be cautious of who you share your inner thoughts and feelings. Some people may appear to be kind and loving but their agenda is to destroy you. They might not even know that they are doing it. Remember, we are fighting a spiritual battle. Sampson , a mighty Judge , was cut down and his destiny cut short because he allowed Delilah to wear him down and expose his weakness. Our enemy is Satan. He sends people – like the Philistines sent Delilah – to uncover your weaknesses. They pose as a friend or a lover – someone you should trust.

Everything became chaotic in my life. It has always been chaotic but because I had lost sight of Christ, the chaos began to affect me. Let’s just say I was a mess. At this point, I wanted to give up on life. I had reached my limit and I was tired. It felt as if all of heaven and earth was against me and I was fighting to survive. Desperate – but cautious – I visited a local church because people were nagging me to fellowship with other Christians. This too was another distraction. You might say : but isn’t fellowship with other Christians a good thing? Not always. Again, not all people that say they are Christians, really are. Christians are also human beings that struggle with sin tenancies, some that are not too pleasant to be around. Then there are others that believe in false doctrine.

Honestly, I believe what happened to me was for a reason. I had to see first hand a lie that is floating around in the Body of Christ and allow God to show me the truth in his word. Some churches are so focused on hyper spirituality that they forget to serve the people. Assembly line prayers – I reached out for prayer and all I got was judgement. Prayer full of judgement and when I sought out a listening ear I was told that I needed to sit down because I was already prayed for. I was appalled. I left the building with a sense of emptiness. It was then that I grit my teeth and said to myself : WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!

I got really quiet in my spirit and started cutting people out of my life – again. One by one, I closed the door without a word. I did not care who was confused or upset. I was not concerned with pleasing others – I was focused on getting better. While I was cutting people out, I dropped out of the boot-camp. At the time, I was very sad but I knew I had to. It was the best decision I made that year. I spent 2 months recovering – I stopped coding, tended to my weary body and started praying again. It was a painful process – I was very run down.

God began to speak again, or rather, I was able to hear his voice. He comforted me in ways no one else could. When I opened my heart to see the filth inside of it, God cleaned it up and then told me what He was doing. You see, it was his plan the whole time. I had a lot of inner issues I needed to deal with. I realized I had a lot of beliefs that were not really my own. I just accepted them because I accepted the label of Christianity. I learned about the bondage of guilt and shame and that Christ died to get rid of that. He doesn’t want us walking around with guilt and shame. He doesn’t want us to repay for our sins – he already paid for it. But I was walking around with so much baggage – trying to live holy, not because It truly came from my heart, but because I thought it would compensate for my short comings. I also allowed people to heap on burdens on me. I allowed people to wear me down. God held up a mirror and showed me my true identity, outside of the garbage people kept dumping on me. It was then that I knew what He wanted me to do. The vision of my life became clear and my joy returned.

Photo by Sushobhan Badhai on Unsplash

Photo by Sushobhan Badhai on Unsplash

Now my joy is rooted and grounded even more in God’s love. God was pruning me. It is an unpleasant experience but don’t give up. God showed me my growth: instead of completely running away from him, I told him that I would wait for him in my anger. I had to go through the pain and turmoil of my negative emotions. I didn’t run away.

I can now share this experience with the hope of encouraging you to keep the faith. Embrace the pain, the frustration, the anger and the confusion. Like David said ” wait on the Lord.” Sometimes you do everything a good christian is suppose to do and it’s not enough. We cannot manipulate the situation – all we can do is wait on God to teach us and renew us in time.

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

God is refining us. I am no longer bound by the garbage people try to throw at me. I am no longer bound by my preconceived notions about how my life should be – I’m free to accept every good blessing from God. I am free to be myself without shame. I was willing to lose everything I worked hard for to have God and he turned around and gave me so much more.

Love, peace and joy are worth so much more than money and prestige. It’s worth more than any earthly relationship and it’s a true blessing from God. Seek after it with all you have and you will have all that you need.

Please let me know in the comments of how God has pruned you? What did you learn?

Until next time,

The Lord Is Faithful, So Let Faith Make You Move!

Photo by Rachel Pfuetzner on Unsplash

Photo by Rachel Pfuetzner on Unsplash

Hey guys!

July 26, 2018 marked the 1 year anniversary for littleeverydayblessings.com!

I am so happy and excited to have another year to explore all that God has in store.

I will tell you, it came with great struggle. Let no one tell you that doing anything in this life is smooth sailings. There will be time of doubt, fear and just plain foolishness. At one point, I questioned if I wanted to continue blogging but God made sure I didn’t give up! What happened really amazes me.

This blog is truly a work of faith. I prayed really hard, worked really hard, planned super hard and did everything I could to get this blog up and running. Here’s the story.

Last year, I earned $200 doing a cleaning/organizing gig for someone at my previous church. At the time, I was greatly ill, so this was just a nice little thing to do on the side (but boy did it kill me). So, after that gig was done, things happened and I found myself, by myself and with only $200 dollars. I asked myself, what can I do with this money?  I spent the first half on ridiculous things and I said to myself, OH NO WAY, please do not waste this last $100 on nothing special.

So, I went to God and I asked Him what I should do. At the time, I was blogging but not regularly. Sometimes I’ll go months without posting anything. It was then that I realized that I wanted to blog and I enjoyed doing it.

Not too long after, I experienced a miracle and God healed me of chronic pain and other ailments. It was then that I continued praying over that money, asking God what I should do. However, time was passing by and I became frustrated with myself and said “I’m taking a leap of faith God. I only have $100 but I will make this work.” I conducted research everyday, prayed everyday, every minute and during every situation that came up. I had many “setbacks” but also witnessed a lot of mini miracles. It was through this experience that I learned that faith truly produces action. You don’t just pray , you move.

I was able to get everything I needed to start my blog with just $100. This includes other things I needed to ensure that I could pay for services etc. God gave me wisdom to find ways to get what I needed for less.

Fast forward to a year later and I had to renew my subscription. I had no money, as I was in a boot camp learning web development (that in itself was a long and complicated story for next time.) and I did not know where the money would come from. I prayed and said “God, this blog, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve been so busy tending to other things in my life. Why did it end up like this?” Even though my prayer didn’t seem really powerful, it was. God heard me and gave me this grand idea to save whatever money I get from whatever source I get it. I had another source of income lined up for me, but I had no idea when it would come. I knew I couldn’t depend on that so, I saved almost every large bill I received.

A few days away from having my service cut, in my heart I worried and said “God should I just give up? I’m not sure I’m going to make it in time.” I heard in my spirit so clearly, “Don’t give up. Just wait. It will come.” I felt peace and continued saving whatever I received.  A day or two passed and I nonchalantly decided to count the money I saved. To my surprise I had enough to cover the expenses with change left over.  I screamed from the top of my lungs praising God! I was contemplating going the cheaper route but God covered the expenses for what I needed.

What made it even more awesome was that I didn’t even have to use the money that I was waiting for.

To some, this might seem like nothing, but in my lack, God came through for me. I learned that the righteous must truly walk by faith. Sometimes I find myself complaining about why I don’t have certain things but my struggles teach me about the sovereign and loving Savior that rescues me all the time.  This experience really touched me deeply and it is what I refer to when I feel sad and alone. God truly cares about everything in our lives, including the small things. He isn’t distant, judgemental or careless. He will guide you if you truly believe in Him.

Don’t beat yourself up if faith doesn’t come naturally. It didn’t for me but as I continued to walk with God, I learned that He is everything and all I ever need.

A job, education, people, my health… they all failed me. And I’m not saying that some of it was on purpose. It’s life. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that are just a reflection of what a fallen world we live in. However, when trouble comes, we must believe that God is able to deliver us.  Faith produces action. Faith without works is dead or rather fake. You can’t fake faith. You either have it or don’t.

I can’t even say believe in yourself anymore. All I can advocate is believing in God. He gives divine strength and wisdom that none can, not even yourself.

I challenge us to continue trusting God for whatever it is we need but let’s not hesitate to MOVE.

Matthew 19:26 (NIV)

 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 17:20 (NIV)

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

 

Ya Bettah Know Who You Be!

OH MY GOODNESS!

Let me tell you something guys!

Let me warn you! If you don’t know who you are and what you want in this world, people will dictate it for you!

I know what I want is typically unusual and I sometimes act really quirky and odd, but I embrace who I am!

If you have a title or a position in church, please, I beg of you to be careful of what you pray over people. I leave every time feeling misunderstood and alone. No one gets me. They assume everything about me but no one ever sat down to talk with me and get to know me and why I’m there. It was then, that I realize that some churches are not what they are suppose to be.

I left feeling horrible, not uplifted. No one came to ask me how I felt or if I wanted to talk. They just left me there.

My walk with God is lonely.  No one cares to hear my story. No one cares to listen. So, I bottle it all up inside. It wasn’t until a few moments ago that I realized something powerful. Every time someone tries to put me down or tell me who I am, that is when I know I’m on the right track. Every time that happens, something good comes out of their negative words.

We are to uplift not tear down.

I held on to every single dream I had in my heart. I told some people and they tried to discourage me or tell me why I can’t do it.  I’ve been misjudged by those I cared about. They choose not to love and encourage me but to kick me when I was down. This came from various people, whether in church or not.

The greatest thing I have is my faith and integrity. Without these two things, I am nothing.

Faith doesn’t equate perfection. I will tell you I had my moments of doubt. I had my moments where I wanted to die and give up. Life was just too unbearable. Suffering is inevitable.

But this time around, despite my nonsense, despite the pain, I held on to God. I was angry with Him, but I didn’t run away from Him. I stood still in my anger and raged through it. I experienced every single feeling: from anger to hopelessness to despair.

I can honestly say that today, I feel a lot better. It happened through a small prayer in bed before I fell asleep. I admitted that I was wrong and I simply said I will no longer fear anything.

It was that simple. I mean seriously, it was just that simple. I do not know what tomorrow will bring, in terms of my mood, but I will take it a day at a time.

The Christian walk is marked by ups and downs. I decided not to hold on to the guilt of missing the mark but to embrace the grace that Christ had died for. I admitted I was wrong and that I needed Christ Daily.

I also found an article that reminded me just how important spiritual discipline is. I became overwhelmed with trying to better my life, but everything flows from my spiritual health. Not physical, mental or emotional health but my SPIRITUAL HEALTH. Everything flows from God.

He gives us wisdom and understanding. He directs where we go and influences the decisions we make. He sets things in order, behind the scenes. He ordains our future and destiny.

Without Him, our efforts are empty. Personally, without Him I can’t even survive. Literally, God has become the very essence of my well-being. I don’t feel healthy without Him. I begin to wither and die like a plant.

The source of my joy is right relationship with Him. My heart became dirty with disappointment and fear. I was too busy to read the bible, pray or even worship through song. God was literally squeezed out of my life because I had too much going on.

I also blamed Him for certain things in my life, instead of trusting that all things will work together for my good.

Despite all of my failures, God has kept me and given me peace this day. It took a bad situation for me to see the truth. I must always remind myself of  who God is and what I know about myself.

I will never be loud or arrogant to prove anything to anyone. I will quietly leave my mark on this earth. I want to be known as the Woman that loved God and walked with Him. For in my weaknesses, He is gloried and in my victories, He is declared King.

Those that love you, will seek to understand you. As Christians, we are called to love one another. That means to truly get to know those we are serving and in fellowship with. Not judging them, putting them in a box and then tossing them aside to move on. Truly connect with people and help them where they are.

 

That is all for now,

 

Established in Faith: What Do You Truly Know About God?

nikko-macaspac-263785

Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

It’s way too easy to lose your way…

A subtlety in your heart…

It’s funny because you won’t even know it’s there, or if you do know, you will try to rationalize it away.

Then one day you wake up and find yourself in a big mess and wonder how you got there.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat race. It’s easy to get caught up in things that will someday fade away.

God told me yesterday : remember when I healed you? How you walked with me day by day, moment by moment? How you asked ME for help and strength to get through the day. But now you say ” How am I going to do this?”

It was obvious now, I had slowly pushed God out of the way and relied on my own strength. In turn, I have grown very tired in every area of my life.

It was a slow thing. I became busy and spent less time in prayer and bible study. I said, I’ll do it tomorrow but when tomorrow came, I was again, too busy.

Then a stumbling block presented itself: my own heart. I was defenseless but God kept telling me what to do. I prayed so hard but my own heart was hardening. My view of God was inaccurate. I felt He was playing a cruel joke on me. “Why is this happening to me”, I asked.

I prayed and sought help but more and more the rage and bitterness in my heart grew. I was warned that this was not the way to go. I was mad at God. I prayed, I sought him, I asked him to protect me but he didn’t. I felt let down and It was then that I no longer wanted to trust that he cared and loved me.

I found myself in a mess. When my heart grew dark and cold, my joy and peace were the first to leave. I tried so many remedies but not even prayer worked.

Then to make matters worse, something I was working very hard for, failed. I was devastated. It was the final straw. God truly let me down. I shut down. I was numb, full of anger. Fear crept in and clouded my mind and judgement.

At the end, I decided that I wanted to talk to God. I missed him. I didn’t feel like myself – this is not who I am. So I prayed. It was then that I remembered the word established.

nathan-dumlao-553957

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

I looked up established in faith:

There are two ways to stay established or committed to God: Prayer and Bible study.

The very things that I stopped doing from the beginning. I was too busy to put God first.

It was then, when I decided to let go of that thing I held on to, that I experienced peace. I remembered that when I told God that I accept being sick and will serve Him with my life – that’s when He healed me. I was prepared: washed my face, fixed my hair. I was determined to serve God for the rest of my life sick , but He healed me instead.

Honestly, I do not take that for granted. It bothered me, in my anger towards God, why I couldn’t let that miracle remind me of the goodness of God. I wanted this thing so badly, not realizing that God is sovereign and in complete control. He is my provider – He will sustain me. He gives me favor even if I am unqualified, for his glory and purpose. I relied on this thing and my effort and not him. He is showing me, through miracles, that He is God with all power, wisdom and knowledge.

In the midst of my sin, He comforted me. He said he isn’t judging me. He said he loves me. He asked me to come back to him and bare my heart to him. I must guard my heart from anger and bitter emotions, but I must also guard my mind from false opinion of God. He is full of grace, gentle and kind. In this, I realized that I was judging myself, worrying what other people would think of me, instead of knowing and trusting how God sees me.

I learned that I could’ve died in my sin – chasing after things that , in the long – term, means nothing. Don’t allow people, status, a career, or an opportunity, rob you of  your salvation and eternal life. Don’t allow these things to trip up your walk with God.

Put God first in all you do. Stay connected to God and bare your heart to him. Faith produces patience to wait on God, even if it seems like he is taking forever. Remember what he as done for you in the past and search the scriptures for examples of how God acts on the behalf of his people.

I can say now, with confidence that I am restored. My blessing will follow as such: a double portion of joy, peace, hope and faith. These are the things my heart now longs for but most of all I am just happy that I have my Christ back.

Blog Signature

 

Being Honest with God

Photo by: Jon Flobrant on Unsplash.

After the Lord healed me from a chronic illness this year, I watched him order my steps even when I was confused or missed the mark. I had come to understand his love and concern for me.

I took a leap of faith and took tiny steps towards where I am today. I actually never imagined I would end up here. I was going in one direction and God lead me to another.

I had great setbacks and distractions. From health scares, to emotional and mental fatigue, I had to learn how to pray. I had to learn how to be led by the Holy Spirit. I had to trust daily in supernatural provision and health.

I found that it was easy to trust God in those times. My faith was soaring.

I was excited to see what else God could do.

However, there are parts of us that we hide from God. God knows our hearts, he knows everything, but there are parts of us that we do not want God to see. We don’t want God to touch us there because it hurts.

I knew I was in the process of deliverance. I knew it deeply and with a certainty. As much I tried my best to avoid it, it still happened. Everything in my heart came flooding out.

When God wants to heal you, you must first confess everything. You must be honest and open with HIM.

I was forced to look in a mirror. A mirror that I had broken. However, God fixed it and placed it right in front of me.

He told me I could have it. That very thing I didn’t want to face. He said that I didn’t need anyone’s permission but his. He said that he understands me and that he is a loving father that gives us good things when we ask HIM.

My faith wavered. In my anger I wondered why this even had to happen. I had a preconceived idea of how my life should look. I keep falling into this trap of thinking I know what is best for me. For hiding away my concerns and dreams from God.

I didn’t know I wanted this but it was seeping into my life in many unhealthy ways.

I truly believe that once we are open and honest and don’t feel ashamed of what we need, God will begin to prepare us for what we asked HIM for.

I am writing this on whim, and I am pouring out my heart to you in sincere honesty.

My hope is that you too can trust God with your heart. That you will open up to him and share with him ALL of what is inside of you, knowing that he is a good father that gives his children good gifts. Honoring his sovereignty, knowing he is all-knowing and in control.

He orders our steps, truly. I may not completely understand where He is taking me but I know he won’t lead me to destruction.

 

With love,

Wait Patiently On The Lord

 

Photo by: Diana Simumpande on Unsplash.

 

Joy is not a feeling. Joy is a response. I have been pushing myself to feel happy, pretending that everything is okay and that is not true joy.

I realized, a personal revelation of sorts, that joy is simply finding hope and security in Christ. We based our faith on our emotions, on what we don’t understand or can’t do and that cannot be further from the truth.

Only God is perfect. Even God has feelings. He gets angry, sad and happy. So why are we forcing ourselves to be happy all the time? Why are we being fake and manufacturing emotions that we don’t have,

True intimacy is formed in honest, open communication.  Job, a righteous man that lost everything, went boldly before the Lord with ALL of his concerns. He was in anguish and pain. He lost his children, his money and even his health. His friends and his wife were not supportive but judged him. Job was alone.

The sign of maturity is feeling pain, confusion and anguish but running to God for answers. Job waited patiently for God to answer but he didn’t stop praying. Job prayed until he emptied out his heart.

I remembered how I was treated when I didn’t have it altogether. I was sick and going through a lot and instead of understanding and compassion, I was judged and criticized, just like Job. Looking back, I am tempted to stay angry but my eyes have opened to the situation I was in.

People strive on being fake. On being strong on the outside to prove they have it altogether. People do not understand the beauty in brokenness before God. Falling on one’s face before the Lord and crying out to Him.

You can sit there with your fake praises. You can sit there with your fake HALLELUJAH’s when you know deep in your heart you do not believe one word you are saying. God knows our hearts, we cannot lie to Him. We are only lying to ourselves.

David, another man of God, was also misunderstood and alone. He spent most of his life being rejected, misunderstood and in hiding but in his pain and loneliness he cried out to God. He expressed his anger, frustration, and fear. He told God how he truly felt.

The amazing part is, the more we pray, the Holy Spirit steps in and changes our prayers. As we read his scriptures for comfort, we begin to find hope and strength. God renews our strength.

He will renew your strength. He will strengthen you. He will open your eyes to see things differently. He is a place of safety from the harsh realities of life, people and circumstances.

You can do everything right like Job and still face adversity. I had to learn, for myself, that doing good and being righteous is not a get-out-of trouble card. Trouble comes. Confusion will come. Pain will find you. It is an inevitable part of life.

But in our moments of pain, run to God and then wait patiently on him.

How to Find The Joy You Once Had

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Photo by Pablo Orcaray on Unsplash

Do you want to know the secret of regaining your joy? Let your light shine! No preaching, no teaching, no need to nag or complain.

Don’t stay angry, and don’t bottle up your feelings because it will come out some where else.

Just let your light shine. God made you wonderful and beautiful. He placed hidden gems inside of you and as you allow God to reveal and cultivate them, you will be sharing your beauty with others.

The time spent trying to fix others, fix yourself, or even beating yourself up for not being perfect, could be spent doing all the things you enjoy and using it as a means to point to Christ.

Pray for those that hurt you. People WILL hurt you. It’s inevitable. It doesn’t mean you are weak, just human. Give all your feelings of hurt, shame etc, to Christ because he truly cares for you.

And He will give you peace that surpasses all understanding. I trust in this promise. More than anything, peace and joy matters! With these two , that work so closely together, you can accomplish anything.

Wait on God. His timing is true. We are not required to understand but to trust. Let Him be sovereign and let us be obedient.

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Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Matthew 5:13-16 (MSG)

Salt and Light

13 “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

14-16 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

 

Precious Gem

I saw someone today that I knew since childhood. We don’t talk and haven’t talked in many many years.

As I smiled at her and answered some of her questions, I felt two feelings in my heart.

  1. Feeling 1: OMG RUN! She’s going to judge you and your situation. Be embarrassed.
  2. Feeling 2: What is there to be embarrassed about? Life happens. I am a treasure. A precious flower and loved by God. My struggles are not to be ashamed of but to glorify God.

I decided to go with feeling two and in me rose a confidence and peace that I haven’t had in a long time. You know when you just get tired of feeling sorry for yourself. When you realize that nothing is wrong with you and that your pain and suffering is just part of the journey. While writing this, I have hope that my suffering is coming to an end. No, not my life, but this chapter of suffering and pain is coming to an end. I learned so many lessons along the way. I am not who I use to be, even when I thought I was perfect and amazing. I am finally human. A human with feelings and an ear to hear the Lord.

I can finally smile from my heart because I am no longer concerned about how I will get to the other side. I have my moments of sorrow and despair but I know I can never ever hit rock bottom again.

This time around, I am stronger and wiser. Just like Apostle Paul , I know what it’s like when things are going somewhat well and when times get rough. I know I will survive because of Christ and his Spirit that orders my steps.

That doesn’t mean I’m going volunteer information, just for the sake of blabbering my mouth (rolls eyes). What it does mean, is that at the end of the day my life is not defined by just the good or just the bad but is a collective narrative of MOI.

I am celebrating my life TODAY! I refuse to wait until things seem to be better. Life is a gift and my life is precious. You have to remember that even when things seem to be falling apart, destruction all around and disappointment wants to fill your heart with stone. It is not your burden to carry alone. Everyone has a story and you’d be surprised to hear what they have gone through as well.

YOU ARE A PRECIOUS TREASURE!

Don’t forget. <320170405_151357