Tag Archives: Self-Pity

Love That Changes!

I just finished reading an article about a man that was born with a tumor in the middle of his forehead and a leg deformity. He spoke about his mother who, when she first saw him after he was born, considered him too ugly and wished he would die. Over time, she warmed up to him and was very honest about what she thought about him as he grew up. She made up in her mind to love him with honesty and in that he grew up understanding his place in the world.

He grew up, got married and had a baby girl in his 30th year. What amazed me about this story is that this man was able to live a full life, get married/embrace love and create a little family of his own. Instead of wallowing in self-pity over his appearance and disability, he instead was able to live a full life.

Those of us that are physically whole, we shamelessly call ourselves ugly, treat ourselves with such contempt and allow hateful comments of others dictate our self worth. I hear so many people who feel too inadequate to find love, too inadequate to make good and lasting friendships, too inadequate.

We must see our beauty, even in our lack. To see our worth, even when others refuse to respect it. We owe this to ourselves. Being too fat, too skinny, born with brown eyes instead of green, not having perfect teeth, perfect family members…these are silly superficial things! Lord help us!

My heart is bursting from this story and the tears that streak my face as I write this, serve as a testimony of how I had to overcome my own negative self-talk. Accept all of you. Embrace who you are with class and dignity! Like Tasha Cobb sang : “You are loved and it doesn’t matter who don’t like it!”

Whether your life lives up to the standards of others, doesn’t matter! Create a life that you want! A life that suits your personality and gives you a sense of fulfillment. Love yourself and cultivate good character and habits. Dress your body like you love it! Feed your body like it’s a holy temple! Because love springs forth when we have it within. A love that cannot be contained and overflows like a mighty rushing river. A love that engulfs and transforms. A secure, quiet love. A love that isn’t loud and self-seeking but a love that exudes! It becomes part of your DNA! Love changes things!


To read the story, click here.

The Route to Maturity

Self-pity is a big fat tantrum that  leads to depression because you lost your inner compass. You made a detour that lead to a path with no light at the end.

You are now open to negative influence because with darkness around, you don’t have light to see the origin of anything that comes your way. You walk around blind in a pit of self-pity.

And when no one turns around to look at you and validate your woes, you decide to do whatever it takes….

Whatever it takes to get noticed.

Little did you know that the cure for self-pity is responsibility. It’s growing up and accepting the things you can’t fix and fixing the things you can. It’s finding another route. It’s finding the bridge back to your main route. And when you find it, there is light and you can now see what exactly you are up against.

You are in control, more than you know. You have a voice even if you think no one is listening and you can change YOUR world, one day at a time. You decide what you choose to see each day.


I decided that I don’t want to sit around having a round table discussion about my problems. Neither do I want to participate in listening. I’m not trying to be selfish or anything but it really solves NOTHING when we sit around and  discuss how horrible life is. I find myself participating in things that drain my spirit: leaving me hollow, tired, and sad. I depend on the joy of God but if I’m feeding my soul with negativity, how can I be a productive christian? We can discuss our problems all day until we are blue in the face but what are we going to do about it? I’m making a conscious decision to walk away from every negative conversation. If I have a problem I will pray. When I am sad, I will speak the truth of God’s word over my circumstances. This cycle of complaining needs to end.


Sadly, I will have to put in great effort to stay away from people who love to complain. Who only see the negative in every situation. Who let their feelings cloud their judgement and chose not to let God work in their lives. You become just like the company you keep. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, you cannot fix them. If this person is you, you are in control over your actions. YOU CHOOSE whether or not you want to trust in God. You choose whether or not you will listen to good advice. You CHOOSE!

So don’t blame anyone for the problems in your life. We all have struggles: from the rich to the poor, Black, White and those in between, Christians and Non-Believers. We are all suffering in this world of sin and we need to realize that. Pity-party and complaining will get us no where.

For those that believe in Christ we have hope. There is a bigger responsibility for us to depend on God and wait and trust in him. It is our responsibility to chase after him. We have a greater responsibility to be a joyful example of God’s grace.

Throw away fear. Throw away insecurity. Throw away negativity. Throw away pity-party and pride and chase after Jesus.

There are TONS of scripture about complaining, negativity, etc.

Here’s a link to give you a head start.

Suck It Up and Get It Done.

Self- Pity, complaining, procrastination are all things that can take away our joy. One part of growing up is learning how to do things we don’t like doing. For instance, today I did not want to exercise and thought of every possible excuse to give. I then realized that If I didn’t do it, I would be selling myself short. In the end,  I can happily say that I’ve completed it and feel a lot better than before.

There is joy to be found when we maintain discipline and focus in our lives. I’m learning that if I want anything to happen in the future, I have to start now. If I want a good outcome, I have to put in the effort now. If I want to find peace and joy in life, I have to stop complaining, stop worrying over things I can’t control and start focusing on things that I can do to increase my talents and skills.

In my walk with God, I cannot sit and become lazy and expect growth.

Joy also comes from doing good things. Whatever they may be, do them without complaining. It might feel uncomfortable now but the rewards are worth the effort.

When We Have Cloudy Days


Two bad days so far, but I decided that pity-party is counter productive and not my style. I did a lot of bad things today from my thoughts, to my attitude, and my actions. However, these promises I rest on:

1.        God’s grace is sufficient to cover all my defects.

  • And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

2.    If I seek him everyday for renewal and guidance, he will reply.

  • And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.( Jeremiah 29:13)
  • Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. (Matthew 7:7)

3.    All my burdens, Jesus will freely take.

  • Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)

4.    I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)

5.    God is healer, provider, and his Spirit sanctifies.

  • But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatever I have said to you. (John 14:26)
  • Likewise the Spirit also helps our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. (Romans 8:26)

So bad days are meant to remind us that we are human and need God always.

Standing Up To a Bully

I am not a child. I haven’t been a child for a long time now, but I still deal with a big bad bully ( well this person thinks he/she is big and bad) who always waits out to catch me doing something he/she doesn’t like.

I said the most powerful words I think I’ve ever said: ” There is nothing you can do that will take away my Joy. You can try and try, but I am happy and content with my life.” 

I think this was more for me than for this person. I use to let this person terrorize my life. I use to get angry and flustered every time this person bothered me. I would cry and wonder why this person is in my life.

However, this statement made me realize that the joy of God exceeds ALL circumstances. Not only financial or health circumstances but ALL circumstances. A  joy that helps me focus on what’s more important : being proactive.

Self pity, depression, anything and everything JUST because of someone else is giving them power over you.

Neither do you stoop to a bully’s mentally. Remember you are a Child of God and he/she is as well.

This is something God is showing me and for many years I was bullied by all kinds of people.

Stand up to your bully with grace, class and a confidence that only comes from Christ. No one has the right to take away what God has given you, but if you sit back and allow them to take it away, you will have no one to blame but yourself.