Tag Archives: Self Worth

My Father Is A King And He Dwells In The Heavenlies

Lady in Purple outfit

Proverbs 31:22 (NLT) She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.

One day, I was having an intimate conversation with God and I began to speak in poetry –

My father is a King and he dwells in the heavenly courts. It was the beginning of a powerful prayer, a prayer of identity.

God also told me to read Proverbs 31 during another time in prayer. I was like, “excuse me but, what does this have to do with what I’m going through?” I read it anyway.

Proverbs 31:22 (NLT) She makes her own bedspreads, she dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.

 

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

This, Proverbs 31, woman knows her worth. She is frugal, a business woman, intelligent, wise and hard working. She isn’t lazy and she isn’t cowardly. She also obeys the Lord.

A lot of times people make this about a wife – and rightfully so, as she is a proverbs 31 wife BUT I believe all people : male and female can learn from her.

You see, when we know who we are in Christ, we start living like it. We start acting like people that know Christ. It’s not enough to say the sinners prayer, say you’re a christian, go to church etc. We must walk with God like Enoch, Moses , Daniel and Joseph did.

Photo by Jonny Caspari on Unsplash

Photo by Jonny Caspari on Unsplash

A Princess doesn’t hang around filth – which in our case would be sin. A Princess seeks the best and she is backed up by her father – the King. He has her back, she can run to daddy and he helps her. He protects and provides for her. This doesn’t mean trouble won’t come and it also doesn’t mean she isn’t required to rise up in her identity, but it means she has power and knowledge backing her up. She knows the God of the world protects her spirit.

She has complete confidence in God – not her abilities. Human beings are of great worth to God. We are precious to him. Christ gave up so much – coming to earth as a human and experiencing  life, death and betrayal. He was the perfect demonstration of God’s love – meeting us in our limitations but because He is holy – he is the perfect demonstration of a Godly life.

He is God because he didn’t stay dead and he didn’t continue to live on earth but once alive, he went back to heaven.

We have hope – because we all must die. But the hope is that we too get to spend the next life (after death) with Christ forever.

So, our time on earth, must be spent walking in that identity God has given us. We are children of a great King and everything he does is good. We must trust that our father loves us. We must trust him.

Like Daniel’s friends who trusted God – even knowing that God is not required to save them. But they love him no matter what.

Photo by antonio ochoa on Unsplash

Photo by antonio ochoa on Unsplash

If God doesn’t give us what we prayed for, will we continue to walk with him? Will we continue to talk to him and trust him?

Flee from sin. A godly life is your comfort and protection. Royalty does not mess with filth. Don’t let your wicked heart taint your life.

Purple is the color of royalty simply because purple dye was rare and costly. Only the rich could afford it. I’m quite sure most of us are not rich, but I truly believe that we can be rich/wealthy with whatever we have. We don’t need to walk around looking destitute, depressed and defeated.

Humility is a deposition. Humility involves gratitude. I truly believe God wants us to be creative and imaginative.

Remember your worth – God loves you. Don’t mess with sin – run from it and trust God. He is your father and he dwells in the heavenly courts. He has all knowledge and all power! He has ultimate control. Trust Him with your future and your soul and you will always be at peace.

God Bless,

 

 

Don’t Numb The Pain – You Have A Choice!

Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

One of the greatest things I’ve done in life was sit through the pain. I didn’t run away, didn’t rationalize, didn’t find unhealthy ways to cope. I dropped everything and sat in my anger, shame and pain.

I sat there and embraced it, completely.

It was in my pain that I saw a loving God and the strength he has given me. In that lonely and painful time, it was then, that I realized that I am in full control over my decisions and actions. I decided, that the greatest power I have, is wielding my faith and holding on to my integrity. All the pain:  self-inflicted or caused by others, was not going to make me into a horrible  person.

I knew I ready won. No one can take God or my integrity away from me.

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

I can do good and be good.

I can rise above the pain of life.

I can hold on to what I truly believe in.

I can explore life with faith.

I also accepted that I knew nothing about the promises of God. It’s not enough to do good deeds, we need to know why we do them.

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

We do good to off balance evil.

We do good to help others.

We do good to glorify God

We do good for our own future – storing up treasures in heaven that never rot or decay.

Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

The sight of heaven and being with God as a reward, made it easier for me to press on. Our mistakes and failures are meaningless under grace. We have a choice, every new day, to chase after God and his ways. We must be willing to throw out human opinion and fear of man to rise up. We will be misunderstood, hated and suffer all kinds of things when we decide to follow God. But, don’t focus on that. Focus on God and what he tells you to do. No one can make you do anything or be anything. No one has that power unless you give it to them.

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash

It’s a choice that affects every other choice you make.

Always aim to choose wisely.

Friend or Foe?

Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash

Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash

Man oh man!

I’m sorry but excuse me? How did I not see this coming? It’s okay though,  I understand now.

CYCLES! History constantly repeats itself until you get it!

Step 1: Identify your weak points and discipline yourself to strengthen them!

That means removing triggers, being aware and slowing down when making decisions!

Step 2: Identify those that undermine you and by all means throw them in the trash!

You are not strong! Don’t try to put up with it, rationalize it out of existence or make excuses for this person. Get rid of them at all cost. There is no negotiating or pleading with these people. Feelings don’t change overnight. You will know a malicious person, set to undermine you when:

1. They put you down whether overtly or covertly through insults, comparisons, or dismissive behavior.

2. You notice you become confused, sad, resentful and private.

Why? Because their aim is to make you feel WORTHLESS!

3. This will happen for the rest of your life so get use to it.

4. Slowly build a support system that will surround you and uplift you during your times in need.

By all means shun every single church, or person that doesn’t fit this qualification. There are churches out there that will make you paranoid, zap you of your life and vitality and make you walk around with constant guilt. Be patient and take your time creating this circle. State what you expect ahead of time and watch people carefully. Circumstances and situations will expose a person.

You deserve to be loved and honored. Don’t settle for less than that! Your inner circle should be people that would even lay their lives down for you and vise versa. Not people that just want to be around you and have a good time, or hear your woes but don’t actually want to root for you and uplift you as a person. This means a lot especially when you are low.  No one will always be happy and full of joy and on cloud 9, 10 and 11, so you need a system of people that will encourage and push you forward. Job had horrible friends. God knew that too and Job had to pray for them, so God would forgive them for judging him and speaking falsely on God’s behalf. But then we see Jonathan, who was not only willing to give up all he had for David, for He understood the calling on David’s life, but was supportive and spoiled the plans of his father Saul to protect his friend. Your friends are LOYAL to you and do not want to see you harmed.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get this right, right way. I wanted to feel guilty for allowing certain people in my life but what will guilt do? Guilt just robs you of your vitality and hinders you from growing and learning. For some, this comes naturally, for others, not so much.

Be willing to walk alone for a season until you find those that will surround you with the love you deserve and help you reach your goals in life. We need each other, but we need the right people!

Until next time,

 

 

 

 

The Price of Kindness

Photo by Matt Collamer on Unsplash

Photo by Matt Collamer on Unsplash

Unnecessary Disclaimer: I’m being honest and open.

A series of events led to my eye open experience.

There is a price to pay for being kind. In a cruel world, people see meekness and kindness as weakness.

I witnessed this even in a church! The very place where meekness, kindness and gentleness should be respected and even honored, the meek and the kind are shunned, insulted and made to feel inadequate. Brashness, cruelty and harsh words were celebrated as strength, used to control, manipulate and crush it’s recipients.

It was covered up in the guise of tough love, honesty, boldness, playful banter etc. We have lots of fluffy words for cruelty these days.

It’s tempting to want revenge, or to prove yourself to these people but this is my conclusion.

I want to remain kind. I want to be myself and who God made me to be. It takes a lot of strength NOT to fit in. It takes a lot of strength to keep going after being rejected, mistreated and misunderstood.

I had someone tell me that kindness is fake. Poor soul. Poor soul believes kindness is fake and rudeness is strength.

In wisdom, you’ll know that sort of person is troubled and being unkind back will just exasperate the issue.

I think these experiences, while they hurt me deeply , has made me stronger.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I have fallen in love with myself even more. I pick and choose my battles wisely. If I make a mistake, I apologize , fix it as best as I can and move forward. I also know that my actions aren’t always kind but I want to be kinder.

Kindness for me is peace. It’s about being at peace with oneself and others. I don’t have time to be cruel. Cruelty is boring! There is so much to do in life than plotting against your next victim.

After every heartache I make two declarations: I will serve God no matter what and I want to do the right thing.

Love is patient and kind. Listen, I don’t always get it right, no one will but being consistently cruel to people, even those that have hurt you isn’t right! There is no justification for it!

Forgiveness is a choice! A process yes, but it’s a choice you have to make.

Forgiveness gives you internal peace in a chaotic world!

I was mad at God over things in my life, including my own choices. Now thinking about it, as painful as it was, I don’t regret it.

In a fallen world, pain builds character. All of my struggles and heartaches, sins (yup) and mistakes , not one piece or part must be forgotten for they all are the building blocks to my character.

The Bible clearly shows us the faults, mistakes and triumphs of it’s characters. There is constant character development.

The most important elements to life are our character and godliness. The quest for material things ends with death but our character and our godliness will be tested in the next life.

I learned through it all that God loves me too.

Precious Gem

I saw someone today that I knew since childhood. We don’t talk and haven’t talked in many many years.

As I smiled at her and answered some of her questions, I felt two feelings in my heart.

  1. Feeling 1: OMG RUN! She’s going to judge you and your situation. Be embarrassed.
  2. Feeling 2: What is there to be embarrassed about? Life happens. I am a treasure. A precious flower and loved by God. My struggles are not to be ashamed of but to glorify God.

I decided to go with feeling two and in me rose a confidence and peace that I haven’t had in a long time. You know when you just get tired of feeling sorry for yourself. When you realize that nothing is wrong with you and that your pain and suffering is just part of the journey. While writing this, I have hope that my suffering is coming to an end. No, not my life, but this chapter of suffering and pain is coming to an end. I learned so many lessons along the way. I am not who I use to be, even when I thought I was perfect and amazing. I am finally human. A human with feelings and an ear to hear the Lord.

I can finally smile from my heart because I am no longer concerned about how I will get to the other side. I have my moments of sorrow and despair but I know I can never ever hit rock bottom again.

This time around, I am stronger and wiser. Just like Apostle Paul , I know what it’s like when things are going somewhat well and when times get rough. I know I will survive because of Christ and his Spirit that orders my steps.

That doesn’t mean I’m going volunteer information, just for the sake of blabbering my mouth (rolls eyes). What it does mean, is that at the end of the day my life is not defined by just the good or just the bad but is a collective narrative of MOI.

I am celebrating my life TODAY! I refuse to wait until things seem to be better. Life is a gift and my life is precious. You have to remember that even when things seem to be falling apart, destruction all around and disappointment wants to fill your heart with stone. It is not your burden to carry alone. Everyone has a story and you’d be surprised to hear what they have gone through as well.

YOU ARE A PRECIOUS TREASURE!

Don’t forget. <320170405_151357

Jealousy: That Toxic Infection of The Heart.

Jealousy is a sneaky but dangerous infection of the heart. It is rooted in insecurity. I was going to write about people who struggle with jealousy and insecurity but I want to focus on those that are on the receiving end.

Being the recipient of jealous actions is toxic and slowly, but surely, it has the power to destroy you. It has the power to make you feel small, to doubt yourself. It backs you up in a corner. It makes you question yourself on many occasions, wondering if something is wrong with you.

I want to tell you a secret. Well, it’s not really a secret but let me remind you that who you are is not defined by anyone else. Continue to shine, live, laugh and have fun! Continue to strive and grow and chase after everything you wanted in life.

Some of these jealous people will smile in your face, give you gifts and even pretend they are kind. But you can tell, deep down, that something isn’t right. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. Do not allow anyone to reduce you or bully you into submission. Stand your ground and say enough is enough. You don’t have to be rude about it but speak your truth!

People will try to dismiss you. They will say, “she doesn’t know what she’s talking about” or,” She’s sensitive”, or ” who cares and ignore it”. And while I do believe that ignoring petty foolishness is the key to success and happiness in life, there are some things that will require you to address it in a mature way. When people know the lines and boundaries they cannot cross, it let’s them know that their jealous tendencies cannot infect you. Your boundaries are like immunity. It is a wall of protection from behaviors and comments that are meant to keep you in a position that will feed their infection.

They will hate you, talk bad about you ( I always say if its not to my face then it’s none of my business) and show disdain at your success and accomplishments but leave them in God’s hands.

God said vengeance is His job. God doesn’t like jealousy, pride and bullying (oppression) and God has a way of either convicting someone’s heart or silencing them all together.

 

 

 

The Lady of Noble Character

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31: 30

Throughout history, since the beginning of time…women…women have always been on the quest for beauty.

This post will not be about beauty! We have tons of articles, personal accounts from women from various cultures and nations and just a plethora of stories about the standard of beauty. I am, however, talking about self-worth and the standard of character. It is not enough to be intelligent. No, it’s not. The modern woman wants to be successful in her career and her education. However, I am here to tell you that it’s meaningless (in King Solomon’s voice)! You see, that charm…that thing that makes us stand out…whether it be the way we carry ourselves, or the way we speak. Another word for charisma…well…that’s meaningless too. You might say, “has she gone mad?” Well here’s the thing. It’s God. Everything must point back to Jesus.

I realized that my beauty is fading. I’m simply getting older. I will wrinkle, I will sag and I will eventually have white hair. It’s a part of life none of us can escape. My charm, the IT factor. That thing that makes me stand out from the crowd, that too is deceptive. Why? Because it’s dependent on what others deem as charming. It’s dependent on other people! My relationship with God, however, will never fade way, nor is it dependent on external circumstances or people. Good character is hard to find. It is not just simply external morality, but an internal heart condition. It is a heart that is yielded to God and then in turn produces the FRUIT of THE SPIRIT. Without the evident Fruit….our lives are meaningless. Without fruit we are empty vessels that look pretty and sound pretty.

My worth, Your worth….our sense of well-being…everything, must come from God. We cannot blame society, men or the media for who we choose to be. We cannot blame our parents, our circumstances…we cannot blame Satan for anything we decide to do.

Everyday, I have to make a conscious decision that I will follow Jesus. Everyday I must lay down my life for His Will. Being a christian comes with a daily cost. People believe it’s about blessings…but truly, it is about struggle. It is about being emptied out so that God can pour into…it is becoming a new person…literally. It’s not just bad habits that are being changed but also your very personality!!!!!

SHOCKER! I know. I know. And, while it’s happening, it HURTS. You kick and scream and cry. You fight…you throw tantrums. You ask God “WHY ME”! But then, you think back on all that God has done for you…from the initial dying on the cross, paying the price for our sins and then the intimate dealings in our everyday lives. You realize you owe God everything. And then, you also understand that you are being reborn. It’s for your own good….it truly is for your own good. You are not just going to be beautiful on the outside but a beauty that shines in the likeness of your heavenly father.

You know how people set up trophies on their walls….well….I don’t have a trophy wall. But I have a mental wall of progress. You see, the me in the past would not be saying these things. I’d probably go off, doing my own thing, being mad at God and ignoring His voice. I would be living it up, saying “forget it”! But this new me that is emerging is saying….YOU KNOW WHAT LORD! I AM NOT HAPPY AND I AM UNCOMFORTABLE BUT HAVE YOUR WAY! But whatever you do, do not remove your Spirit from me.…(in King David’s voice).

Nothing is worth losing God for. NOTHING! Not a man, not a career or your education, not family, not your body , NOTHING! Everything you need is in Jesus Christ. If you need anything…”Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.” Philippians 4:6-7

The humble prayer of my heart is simply…LORD, help us to give our thoughts, concerns and our feelings to you. Help us to pray about everything and to keep on praying until we are met with the blessing of incomprehensible peace. Let us be Proverbs 31 Ladies that find our worth in YOU…and not in deceptive and fleeting things.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

A One- Sided Conversation with YOU.

Love is easy. Breathe in, then breathe out. It’s as easy as breathing. One day you just had enough and you silence all the noise in YOUR OWN HEAD..because the noise on the outside doesn’t matter. It’s when you have those loud, obnoxious voices in your own head, embracing all the lies they said.

Tell yourself enough is enough. Tell yourself it’s time to take a stand. Tell yourself you don’t care who is offended, it’s time to clean the slate and surround yourself with new friends….new parents….new siblings…..NEW PEOPLE…

 

People who WILL : never put you down but lift you up. People that know how to laugh and have fun! People who are not self absorbed….there is a give and take going on between the both of you.

Re create your inner circle…your inner world is influenced by your inner circle. People change, so ensure that you clean out your closet every couple of years- if needed. But aim to find people that you do not want to live with out. People that are willing to apologize and right wrongs till the end. Cuz we all know, no one is perfect.

But…at the end of the day…you must be your own very best friend. Stop beating yourself up! Push hard, but it’s okay to say “You did your best.”

Let go of the past, don’t worry about the future and have fun today! Do everything you always wanted to do…do it without any restrictions or waiting for the perfect moment.

 

Stop waiting for that perfect moment, it might never come.

 

Make plans but also take risks! You are in charge of the decisions you make. Not even God controls you like a puppet. He gave you a will! A mind….a free mind…so use it! But also believe that He will steer you on the right path as you go along. Stay true to your convictions. No matter how angry or confused you are….be wise and don’t throw God away. Don’t say ” I don’t need God.” That’s not wise. Only a fool would say that.

But don’t wait. There is no perfect moment. Waiting….life will pass you by and you will look around and wonder why you wasted it.

You don’t need to be rich, or famous, or fit in nicely with societal norm. Just be yourself!

Love is easy. It’s as easy as air. When you love YOU ….love becomes easy. Love doesn’t hurt. Love doesn’t bleed. Love mends…and it heals. Love frees your mind and ignites your soul….with passion yes…but with peace. Peace in knowing that nothing…that people say or do will ever define who you are. And they sure don’t have any control over your future.

Your future is in your hands. What do you choose?

Love That Changes!

I just finished reading an article about a man that was born with a tumor in the middle of his forehead and a leg deformity. He spoke about his mother who, when she first saw him after he was born, considered him too ugly and wished he would die. Over time, she warmed up to him and was very honest about what she thought about him as he grew up. She made up in her mind to love him with honesty and in that he grew up understanding his place in the world.

He grew up, got married and had a baby girl in his 30th year. What amazed me about this story is that this man was able to live a full life, get married/embrace love and create a little family of his own. Instead of wallowing in self-pity over his appearance and disability, he instead was able to live a full life.

Those of us that are physically whole, we shamelessly call ourselves ugly, treat ourselves with such contempt and allow hateful comments of others dictate our self worth. I hear so many people who feel too inadequate to find love, too inadequate to make good and lasting friendships, too inadequate.

We must see our beauty, even in our lack. To see our worth, even when others refuse to respect it. We owe this to ourselves. Being too fat, too skinny, born with brown eyes instead of green, not having perfect teeth, perfect family members…these are silly superficial things! Lord help us!

My heart is bursting from this story and the tears that streak my face as I write this, serve as a testimony of how I had to overcome my own negative self-talk. Accept all of you. Embrace who you are with class and dignity! Like Tasha Cobb sang : “You are loved and it doesn’t matter who don’t like it!”

Whether your life lives up to the standards of others, doesn’t matter! Create a life that you want! A life that suits your personality and gives you a sense of fulfillment. Love yourself and cultivate good character and habits. Dress your body like you love it! Feed your body like it’s a holy temple! Because love springs forth when we have it within. A love that cannot be contained and overflows like a mighty rushing river. A love that engulfs and transforms. A secure, quiet love. A love that isn’t loud and self-seeking but a love that exudes! It becomes part of your DNA! Love changes things!

 

To read the story, click here.

God’s Love is Beautiful

Love births change.

With love, we flourish, we strive, we live, we finally start living.

The love God has for us is complete and perfect.

Our worth doesn’t come from our size, body type or the people we know.

Our worth isn’t defined by our occupation or our achievements or failures.

Our worth doesn’t come from a man or a woman but from God alone.

We don’t have to do anything to win his love, it’s already freely given.

God is truly in love with us, obsessed with us. He is always concerned about every tiny aspect of our lives.

Just like a loving parent that knows everything about their children, so does our heavenly father know us.

It is embracing the intimacy of his love that we learn that it’s alright to trust him. That his love goes beyond this life and beyond us and extended to every other person.

It is in this love that we change, find hope and peace. God made each of us unique with different talents and skills. Use it to give him glory and help one another. Shine bright in the uniqueness that God has created you, for in that lies your true beauty.

A beautiful person is one who fears the Lord.

I challenge everyone, including myself to find the beauty in God’s love. It is in his love that we find security and true peace. It is in his love that we find the power and grace to live for him and sharing the gospel through our words and actions.