Tag Archives: Sin

My Father Is A King And He Dwells In The Heavenlies

Lady in Purple outfit

Proverbs 31:22 (NLT) She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.

One day, I was having an intimate conversation with God and I began to speak in poetry –

My father is a King and he dwells in the heavenly courts. It was the beginning of a powerful prayer, a prayer of identity.

God also told me to read Proverbs 31 during another time in prayer. I was like, “excuse me but, what does this have to do with what I’m going through?” I read it anyway.

Proverbs 31:22 (NLT) She makes her own bedspreads, she dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.

 

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

This, Proverbs 31, woman knows her worth. She is frugal, a business woman, intelligent, wise and hard working. She isn’t lazy and she isn’t cowardly. She also obeys the Lord.

A lot of times people make this about a wife – and rightfully so, as she is a proverbs 31 wife BUT I believe all people : male and female can learn from her.

You see, when we know who we are in Christ, we start living like it. We start acting like people that know Christ. It’s not enough to say the sinners prayer, say you’re a christian, go to church etc. We must walk with God like Enoch, Moses , Daniel and Joseph did.

Photo by Jonny Caspari on Unsplash

Photo by Jonny Caspari on Unsplash

A Princess doesn’t hang around filth – which in our case would be sin. A Princess seeks the best and she is backed up by her father – the King. He has her back, she can run to daddy and he helps her. He protects and provides for her. This doesn’t mean trouble won’t come and it also doesn’t mean she isn’t required to rise up in her identity, but it means she has power and knowledge backing her up. She knows the God of the world protects her spirit.

She has complete confidence in God – not her abilities. Human beings are of great worth to God. We are precious to him. Christ gave up so much – coming to earth as a human and experiencing  life, death and betrayal. He was the perfect demonstration of God’s love – meeting us in our limitations but because He is holy – he is the perfect demonstration of a Godly life.

He is God because he didn’t stay dead and he didn’t continue to live on earth but once alive, he went back to heaven.

We have hope – because we all must die. But the hope is that we too get to spend the next life (after death) with Christ forever.

So, our time on earth, must be spent walking in that identity God has given us. We are children of a great King and everything he does is good. We must trust that our father loves us. We must trust him.

Like Daniel’s friends who trusted God – even knowing that God is not required to save them. But they love him no matter what.

Photo by antonio ochoa on Unsplash

Photo by antonio ochoa on Unsplash

If God doesn’t give us what we prayed for, will we continue to walk with him? Will we continue to talk to him and trust him?

Flee from sin. A godly life is your comfort and protection. Royalty does not mess with filth. Don’t let your wicked heart taint your life.

Purple is the color of royalty simply because purple dye was rare and costly. Only the rich could afford it. I’m quite sure most of us are not rich, but I truly believe that we can be rich/wealthy with whatever we have. We don’t need to walk around looking destitute, depressed and defeated.

Humility is a deposition. Humility involves gratitude. I truly believe God wants us to be creative and imaginative.

Remember your worth – God loves you. Don’t mess with sin – run from it and trust God. He is your father and he dwells in the heavenly courts. He has all knowledge and all power! He has ultimate control. Trust Him with your future and your soul and you will always be at peace.

God Bless,

 

 

Don’t Numb The Pain – You Have A Choice!

Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

One of the greatest things I’ve done in life was sit through the pain. I didn’t run away, didn’t rationalize, didn’t find unhealthy ways to cope. I dropped everything and sat in my anger, shame and pain.

I sat there and embraced it, completely.

It was in my pain that I saw a loving God and the strength he has given me. In that lonely and painful time, it was then, that I realized that I am in full control over my decisions and actions. I decided, that the greatest power I have, is wielding my faith and holding on to my integrity. All the pain:  self-inflicted or caused by others, was not going to make me into a horrible  person.

I knew I ready won. No one can take God or my integrity away from me.

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

I can do good and be good.

I can rise above the pain of life.

I can hold on to what I truly believe in.

I can explore life with faith.

I also accepted that I knew nothing about the promises of God. It’s not enough to do good deeds, we need to know why we do them.

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

We do good to off balance evil.

We do good to help others.

We do good to glorify God

We do good for our own future – storing up treasures in heaven that never rot or decay.

Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

The sight of heaven and being with God as a reward, made it easier for me to press on. Our mistakes and failures are meaningless under grace. We have a choice, every new day, to chase after God and his ways. We must be willing to throw out human opinion and fear of man to rise up. We will be misunderstood, hated and suffer all kinds of things when we decide to follow God. But, don’t focus on that. Focus on God and what he tells you to do. No one can make you do anything or be anything. No one has that power unless you give it to them.

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash

It’s a choice that affects every other choice you make.

Always aim to choose wisely.

How God Used Web Development To Prune Me

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

It’s about time I talk about my journey in Web Development. If you follow me on twitter, you will see tweets about events I’ve attended, splashed here and there.

My journey started in late 2017. I learned HTML, CSS and JavaScript fundamentals in a class setting. It was an amazing experience. I fell in love with code: mainly design (JavaScript kicks my butt, but I haven’t given up) and I’m now learning WordPress and PHP.

I learned so much over the span of this experience. It was difficult. At first, it was like a dream. I was excited and dedicated. Then life hit me, and I had to make decisions that challenged my faith.

I mentioned in a previous post about attending a Boot Camp. Well, that was an eye opening experience in itself. I want to start of by saying that the aim of this post is to serve as a source of  encouragement and also a teaching lesson. I almost lost everything – including my life – BUT it was all God’s plan and it was only at this moment that I could fully accept this as truth.

You might remember my angry posts. My posts about not being happy and losing joy. I was in a very dark place. I was worried I lost everything – all that God had given me – over something so stupid.

I won’t get into details over what that thing was but the root of it was – I wasn’t solid in my understanding of who God is. This was a teaching moment for me and God was going to let me fall on my face so I could understand.

We must be rooted in God’s love for us. My greatest fear happened to me and I was thrown off course. I was upset – I questioned God. How could He allow the very thing I was trying to avoid. I was content with where I was and where I was going. I was content with the future I had planned out for myself. It was as if God led me right into my fears and then left me alone to see how I would respond. Prayers were not answered: I ran to and fro to anyone that could give me counsel. I was embarrassed and ashamed.

by: Tim Mossholder

by: Tim Mossholder

I began to doubt God’s love for me and my heart grew dark. I was angry with God. I wanted to shut down my blog – I felt as if I was living a lie. How could I write about joy when my joy is gone? I knew I had to be honest. I knew I couldn’t lie about how I was feeling.

The boot-camp was not the thing that made me angry with God, but because I was angry, I couldn’t hear God’s voice. God’s voice leads us in our choices in life. Well, my spiritual ears were blocked so I couldn’t hear or recognize that God was telling me not to go.

I worked so hard for this opportunity. Every door slammed in my face during admissions. I finally made it to the end and awaited judgement. Verdict: access denied. I was so upset. I worked so hard just to push down every door that closed in my face. I received a call back, saying a spot was opened that I can fill. I accepted but I wasn’t able to celebrate with sincerity. Honestly, at this point, I was so upset with God that I threw everything out the window. I stopped praying, etc and I was beginning to revert to a part of me I didn’t like. I tried to tell myself this was a miracle – but deep down I wasn’t so sure this was God opening a door for me. It felt more like He gave me what I wanted because I threw a horrible tantrum.

Everything was fine in the beginning. I had this major distraction in my life. It was a person. I realized that every time I’m about to do something important in life – a distraction comes my way in the form of a person. This person undermined everything I sought out to accomplish. At first, person was nice and sweet but over time, person began to chip away at my core beliefs. Person tore me down. I made excuses for person. I thought person was my friend and had my back. I want to warn you: be cautious of who you allow in your inner circle. Be cautious of who you share your inner thoughts and feelings. Some people may appear to be kind and loving but their agenda is to destroy you. They might not even know that they are doing it. Remember, we are fighting a spiritual battle. Sampson , a mighty Judge , was cut down and his destiny cut short because he allowed Delilah to wear him down and expose his weakness. Our enemy is Satan. He sends people – like the Philistines sent Delilah – to uncover your weaknesses. They pose as a friend or a lover – someone you should trust.

Everything became chaotic in my life. It has always been chaotic but because I had lost sight of Christ, the chaos began to affect me. Let’s just say I was a mess. At this point, I wanted to give up on life. I had reached my limit and I was tired. It felt as if all of heaven and earth was against me and I was fighting to survive. Desperate – but cautious – I visited a local church because people were nagging me to fellowship with other Christians. This too was another distraction. You might say : but isn’t fellowship with other Christians a good thing? Not always. Again, not all people that say they are Christians, really are. Christians are also human beings that struggle with sin tenancies, some that are not too pleasant to be around. Then there are others that believe in false doctrine.

Honestly, I believe what happened to me was for a reason. I had to see first hand a lie that is floating around in the Body of Christ and allow God to show me the truth in his word. Some churches are so focused on hyper spirituality that they forget to serve the people. Assembly line prayers – I reached out for prayer and all I got was judgement. Prayer full of judgement and when I sought out a listening ear I was told that I needed to sit down because I was already prayed for. I was appalled. I left the building with a sense of emptiness. It was then that I grit my teeth and said to myself : WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!

I got really quiet in my spirit and started cutting people out of my life – again. One by one, I closed the door without a word. I did not care who was confused or upset. I was not concerned with pleasing others – I was focused on getting better. While I was cutting people out, I dropped out of the boot-camp. At the time, I was very sad but I knew I had to. It was the best decision I made that year. I spent 2 months recovering – I stopped coding, tended to my weary body and started praying again. It was a painful process – I was very run down.

God began to speak again, or rather, I was able to hear his voice. He comforted me in ways no one else could. When I opened my heart to see the filth inside of it, God cleaned it up and then told me what He was doing. You see, it was his plan the whole time. I had a lot of inner issues I needed to deal with. I realized I had a lot of beliefs that were not really my own. I just accepted them because I accepted the label of Christianity. I learned about the bondage of guilt and shame and that Christ died to get rid of that. He doesn’t want us walking around with guilt and shame. He doesn’t want us to repay for our sins – he already paid for it. But I was walking around with so much baggage – trying to live holy, not because It truly came from my heart, but because I thought it would compensate for my short comings. I also allowed people to heap on burdens on me. I allowed people to wear me down. God held up a mirror and showed me my true identity, outside of the garbage people kept dumping on me. It was then that I knew what He wanted me to do. The vision of my life became clear and my joy returned.

Photo by Sushobhan Badhai on Unsplash

Photo by Sushobhan Badhai on Unsplash

Now my joy is rooted and grounded even more in God’s love. God was pruning me. It is an unpleasant experience but don’t give up. God showed me my growth: instead of completely running away from him, I told him that I would wait for him in my anger. I had to go through the pain and turmoil of my negative emotions. I didn’t run away.

I can now share this experience with the hope of encouraging you to keep the faith. Embrace the pain, the frustration, the anger and the confusion. Like David said ” wait on the Lord.” Sometimes you do everything a good christian is suppose to do and it’s not enough. We cannot manipulate the situation – all we can do is wait on God to teach us and renew us in time.

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

God is refining us. I am no longer bound by the garbage people try to throw at me. I am no longer bound by my preconceived notions about how my life should be – I’m free to accept every good blessing from God. I am free to be myself without shame. I was willing to lose everything I worked hard for to have God and he turned around and gave me so much more.

Love, peace and joy are worth so much more than money and prestige. It’s worth more than any earthly relationship and it’s a true blessing from God. Seek after it with all you have and you will have all that you need.

Please let me know in the comments of how God has pruned you? What did you learn?

Until next time,

Established in Faith: What Do You Truly Know About God?

nikko-macaspac-263785

Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

It’s way too easy to lose your way…

A subtlety in your heart…

It’s funny because you won’t even know it’s there, or if you do know, you will try to rationalize it away.

Then one day you wake up and find yourself in a big mess and wonder how you got there.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat race. It’s easy to get caught up in things that will someday fade away.

God told me yesterday : remember when I healed you? How you walked with me day by day, moment by moment? How you asked ME for help and strength to get through the day. But now you say ” How am I going to do this?”

It was obvious now, I had slowly pushed God out of the way and relied on my own strength. In turn, I have grown very tired in every area of my life.

It was a slow thing. I became busy and spent less time in prayer and bible study. I said, I’ll do it tomorrow but when tomorrow came, I was again, too busy.

Then a stumbling block presented itself: my own heart. I was defenseless but God kept telling me what to do. I prayed so hard but my own heart was hardening. My view of God was inaccurate. I felt He was playing a cruel joke on me. “Why is this happening to me”, I asked.

I prayed and sought help but more and more the rage and bitterness in my heart grew. I was warned that this was not the way to go. I was mad at God. I prayed, I sought him, I asked him to protect me but he didn’t. I felt let down and It was then that I no longer wanted to trust that he cared and loved me.

I found myself in a mess. When my heart grew dark and cold, my joy and peace were the first to leave. I tried so many remedies but not even prayer worked.

Then to make matters worse, something I was working very hard for, failed. I was devastated. It was the final straw. God truly let me down. I shut down. I was numb, full of anger. Fear crept in and clouded my mind and judgement.

At the end, I decided that I wanted to talk to God. I missed him. I didn’t feel like myself – this is not who I am. So I prayed. It was then that I remembered the word established.

nathan-dumlao-553957

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

I looked up established in faith:

There are two ways to stay established or committed to God: Prayer and Bible study.

The very things that I stopped doing from the beginning. I was too busy to put God first.

It was then, when I decided to let go of that thing I held on to, that I experienced peace. I remembered that when I told God that I accept being sick and will serve Him with my life – that’s when He healed me. I was prepared: washed my face, fixed my hair. I was determined to serve God for the rest of my life sick , but He healed me instead.

Honestly, I do not take that for granted. It bothered me, in my anger towards God, why I couldn’t let that miracle remind me of the goodness of God. I wanted this thing so badly, not realizing that God is sovereign and in complete control. He is my provider – He will sustain me. He gives me favor even if I am unqualified, for his glory and purpose. I relied on this thing and my effort and not him. He is showing me, through miracles, that He is God with all power, wisdom and knowledge.

In the midst of my sin, He comforted me. He said he isn’t judging me. He said he loves me. He asked me to come back to him and bare my heart to him. I must guard my heart from anger and bitter emotions, but I must also guard my mind from false opinion of God. He is full of grace, gentle and kind. In this, I realized that I was judging myself, worrying what other people would think of me, instead of knowing and trusting how God sees me.

I learned that I could’ve died in my sin – chasing after things that , in the long – term, means nothing. Don’t allow people, status, a career, or an opportunity, rob you of  your salvation and eternal life. Don’t allow these things to trip up your walk with God.

Put God first in all you do. Stay connected to God and bare your heart to him. Faith produces patience to wait on God, even if it seems like he is taking forever. Remember what he as done for you in the past and search the scriptures for examples of how God acts on the behalf of his people.

I can say now, with confidence that I am restored. My blessing will follow as such: a double portion of joy, peace, hope and faith. These are the things my heart now longs for but most of all I am just happy that I have my Christ back.

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Never Thirst Again!

Photo by: Qang Jaka on Unsplash.

During my time in worship, I was led to read John 4 starting from verse 4 – the story of the Samaritan woman at the well.

How many of us use people, things, everything and anything to fill up the void in our hearts? In essence, humans were made to worship. We were created for that. However, Jesus points out to us the kind of worship he is looking for, reading from the MSG translation:

(background verses) 21-23 “Believe me, woman, the time is coming when you Samaritans will worship the Father neither here at this mountain nor there in Jerusalem. You worship guessing in the dark; we Jews worship in the clear light of day. God’s way of salvation is made available through the Jews. But the time is coming—it has, in fact, come—when what you’re called will not matter and where you go to worship will not matter.

23-24 “It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.”

The Samaritan woman had 5 husbands and currently living with a man she wasn’t married to. Sounds familiar? Sounds exactly like our world today. It’s a small section of the passage but it is very important.

Jesus presented himself as the cure to her sin. He didn’t condemn her, he simply implied: drink from my well and you will never have to settle for anything that is not good for you.

Like I mentioned in all my previous posts, don’t hide from God like Adam and Eve in the garden! Run and fall down before God and pour out your whole heart, everything to him. He is not judging you. He already knows! The Samaritan woman thought Jesus was a prophet because he knew she had 5 husbands and living with a man. Point proven, God knows ALL.

Go to him believing He is the solution and cure for all your deficiencies! You don’t need to go to a church building, or a temple. If you look for him, you will find him right where you are.

Let him quench your thirst forever. Drink from the well of his Spirit. He is the source of life. He IS LIFE. He came to give us LIFE.

Be free to be yourself. You do not have to play church, know church doctrine, know every bible verse. Be free! Just have an open heart before JESUS.

God is truly intentional. In my time of waiting on him, he gave me the answer I was looking for. God is in the business of healing deep wounds. He has his timing but when he is ready, he doesn’t care what you are doing and where you are. He will bring it all up to the surface. He will shine his operation light on all of your wounds and disease. He will draw them out with his loving power. He will give you a new heart …look here…

Ezekiel 36:26-28(MSG)

24-28 “‘For here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to take you out of these countries, gather you from all over, and bring you back to your own land. I’ll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed. I’ll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. You’ll once again live in the land I gave your ancestors. You’ll be my people! I’ll be your God!

Jesus fulfilled the words of the prophets of old. Jesus is the word, every word from the prophets were fulfilled in the person of Christ. Find him and you will find life.

Be Well,

I AM Truly Happy!

The strangest thing has been happening to me within the last couple of days.

I’ve been feeling happy and joyful. Extremely happy and joyful! The happiest I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve honestly never been happy before. There were days I’ve felt really really low and my somewhat good days were when I felt numb. I was that girl that got her work done, laughed with friends but deep inside I was sad.

One day recently, I just stopped and noticed that I no longer felt sad, numb or worried. I enjoy living in the moment and any turbulence in my life is met with prayer. I think that was the turning point in my life, when I turned to God in prayer. I prayed for most of my life, but my prayer life has changed drastically when I realized these few things:

  1. God is sovereign: He is in complete control.
  2. God is loving and kind: seriously, He really loves us!
  3. I no longer had to hide away from Him in anyway: intimacy was something I always wanted but then I realized that true intimacy starts with God; baring my whole heart to Him without fear.
  4. I stopped subconsciously trusting people. I was always cynical by nature but even cynical people deep down are afraid of being hurt. While, I am wiser now and enforce proper boundaries with people, I hold everyone and everything loosely.
  5. I enjoy people for who they are, right now. Not who I want them to be or who I think they are and not fearing if they will hurt me in the future. Guess what, they will and might but I’ll be okay.
  6. Take everything to God in prayer: take ALL of your concerns to God. Every single one of them, including the small ones. I tell Him everything and I pray at all times.
  7. I forgive: this is a big one. People have forgiveness all wrong. They think forgiveness means hanging out with said offender. Uhm, no. Some people are just too toxic and dangerous for that. Forgiveness is something God strengths us to do. Just because it’s a command in the Bible, doesn’t mean it’s something we produce in our own strength. Remember, if we abide in Christ, who is the Vine, He will abide in us and we will produce good fruit. When I pray for my enemies, it opens my heart for the power of God to transform it. I have come to the place where I do not want anyone or anything to come between me and my God.
  8. There’s more but I cannot think of them at the moment. (HA HA)

I’ve been feeling so happy lately that it makes no sense. It leaves me feeling very uncomfortable at times. I’ve gotten so use to being sad that now when I’m happy, I have no idea how to behave.

However, I am excited about my future. I try not to look too far ahead but as I am enjoying my life, day to day, I have come to accept that everyday is a step towards a brighter future.

Depression is a real struggle. It’s a battle for your LIFE. Not just your mind or your emotions, not even your body, but your LIFE. Satan wants to snuff you out! It doesn’t matter if you are a Christian or not, Satan’s goal is to destroy as many people as He can before His time is up. Literally, the personification of “misery loves company.”

He will try to mess with your mind: there are many influences out there that are anti-God and anti-Christ that has even seeped into the Church. He will use your childhood experiences, your failures, hurts and pains to make you feel utterly hopeless.

The moment I decided that I hated Satan, God’s enemy, was the day my life changed. What does this mean you ask? Well, I began to see the commands of God differently. I see holiness as security and protection. I saw it as worship to God. I now see holiness as my weapon of mass destruction against Satan’s kingdom. I start seeing obedience as worship to a God that I love. When I focus on God, Satan cannot win. The righteousness of God transforms me and allows me to be an agent of peace wherever I go. Then the love of God will spread to everyone I meet. It will touch someone. I might not know I am touching someone’s life, but God knows.

You see, I am not an active witness and I don’t plan to be unless God says otherwise. And I’ve come to accept that it’s okay to be exactly who I am. I am my best being simply who I am.

I guess I’m done, have a great weekend! ♥

Being Vulnerable Isn’t The Answer.

While I understand the idea of being vulnerable, something about this way of living doesn’t seem right to me. I don’t want to be vulnerable. Let’s look at the definition of vulnerability:

adjective
1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon:

a vulnerable part of the body.
2. open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.:

an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.
3. (of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend:

a vulnerable bridge.
It basically means being open to attack, criticism and emotional wounds. Now excuse me for a moment but what is so noble about that? I had to take a step back and assess a really well meaning statement from someone but it didn’t sit right with me. I do not follow the crowd or go with what everyone wants to preach nowadays. I conducted a google search, to see if I find any sermons on vulnerability. I did, but I also found psychology articles as well.
The heart is a tender organ. It is also a place where we store our feelings. I keep going back to what Proverbs 4:23 (KJV) : Above all else, guard your heart for out of it flow the issues of life. What are we guarding our hearts from?

Let’s go back to the definition :

  • Moral Attack
  • Criticism
  • Temptation to sin
  • Emotional wounds

When we have a wounded heart, we start living out our wounds. The wounds become sores of bitterness that clouds our judgement and makes it easier for us to sin.

This is why the company we keep is so important. This is why we must deal with the wounds of our hearts from early childhood and continuously in our daily lives.

How does one guard their heart? Great question! This is not something we do in our own power. Time does not heal wounds. Time and complete avoidance also doesn’t protect us. Yes, we must wisely shun temptation and bad influences in every form but for events and circumstances outside of our control, we must have a deep and active relationship with God. We must present our cares, concerns, feelings and wounds to Him. We must be open to Him alone! We must not put our trust in other human beings that have limited knowledge and resources but in the Almighty God who is sovereign: all powerful and all knowing. By the power of His Spirit will He enable us to truly forgive and live freely. In Christ, we have the ability to live godly lives with a PURE HEART. A pure heart is not a wounded one. A wounded heart will eventually seek revenge but a pure heart seeks God. A pure heart accepts God for who He is : A strong tower, a place of refuge and safety.

I learned that the best thing to do is to run to God first. In many cases, God was the only one I could run to. No one understood what I was going through, others didn’t care, and honestly, no one can fix me.

No one can fix us. No one can heal us. No one can deliver us. No one can protect us but God alone. Yes, God sends people into our lives to minister to us but we must always put people in their proper place, giving praise to God alone and allowing it to point back to Him. Anyone or anything that tries to override God’s place in your life is a false god.

Guard your heart, be wise and trust God.

Freedom In Christ

Freedom is a mentality not a condition. How do I know this? Well, the Bible touches on many points about faith and belief in God. We are not putting our mental focus on ourselves, capabilities, or circumstances but we put our faith, hope and trust in Christ who saves us from sin and the sting of death. This brings healing and freedom that self-effort cannot.

It took me two years to become who I am today. We all know that I have been alive for a couple years now (Laugh ) but what I mean is, the transformed person I am today took two years. It was a grueling process of God exposing things in my heart and then making a decision to seek God for help. At first it was hard and confusing. It was unbearable and I found myself running away from God or hiding from Him. Other times I’d get angry, throw a tantrum and say I’m doing my own thing. Lately, I have seen a big change in my response to God. I don’t hide, I don’t run and I don’t throw tantrums. I have learned the seriousness of falling on my face and seeking the Lord for guidance and healing. My mind has changed. No longer do I see things how I use to. In the past, I would be anxious and flighty. Wanting everything to be perfect and instant. But today, I understand the importance of waiting on God and perseverance. Paul says we must run the good race and fight the good fight. David encourages the saints to wait PATIENTLY on God. I have learned that blessings aren’t necessarily material like people want to force feed us today. Blessings are wrapped up in the gift of a relationship with God through Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. Blessings are the fruit we produce as we stay connected to the vine (Christ). Blessings can be found in the little daily provisions and the little hands and feet God sends to minister to us. It’s not always about wealth, power and success. It is not about being the best or a know-it-all. It is about receiving God, walking with God and being transformed by God.

Freedom is not a condition. I’m quite sure the same people that made me feel bad for not attaining a certain status or place in life, would have the same thing to say now. Back then, I was very distraught over these things. I would try to work harder and better only to fall right back on my face. But the me now doesn’t care. Say what you want but I am where I need to be. I may not be rich, I may not have flashy things and I may not have much BUT I AM NOT THE SAME! I have changed! The Lord brought me out of my mental Egypt, took the shackles off my mind and melted the cold ice from around my heart. He dried up tears and touched my aching body. So it would be offensive and disrespectful to throw it all in God’s face because of things people say to me. It would be so offensive to throw it all in God’s face when in my mind and spirit I am at peace. I would not trade this for any amount of riches in this world. I have something…a treasure…that no one can take away! I am an asset not a liability.

I hope this encourages you, reader, to accept and have hope. If you are poor and struggling, sick and discouraged; if you feel hurt and betrayed etc. turn your focus on God. Tell Him all that bothers you. Throw your tantrums, cry, scream and yell but whatever you do, don’t turn away. God will meet you where you are and He will help you. That is a promise. Jesus said He is the bread of life and the living waters. He will quench and satisfy the longings of our soul. He will build you up and make you like a strong tree.

One day you will wake up and be at total peace. Nothing on the outside might have changed but YOU CHANGED. Don’t cling to God for material blessings. Christ is more than enough. You must be so in love with Christ that even the threat of death will not turn you away. You must be able to walk away from anything that will come between you and God. That is true freedom!

Obey The Voice of The Lord

I’m not sure what to title this post. I’m not even sure this post will have a specific, main point but I have a few things I need to share for future reference.

  • Disobedience: It is costly. It can cost us our joy, peace, well-being, health, and life both spiritually and physically. It may seem trivial, the things God tells us to do, but He knows why we must do it.
  • Responsibility:  We are responsible for taking care of ourselves and making sure that our spirit and physical bodies are nourished. We are responsible for always being alert and on guard, knowing how to respond in all situations.

Don’t get caught up in petty foolishness. Some times we are tempted to let our guards down. But some conversations are costly. Some conversations can rob us of our peace. We must be picky and choosy about who we spend our time with, the shows we watch, where we go, etc. And if we steer off, run to Jesus and ask Him For forgiveness and help. Honestly, none of these things are possible without Christ. We cannot do anything right without Him. I no longer try to do good because I fail.

But lately my prayers have changed. I ask God to give me strength. I ask God for direction. I ask God for peace. I ask God what to do. I ask God to make me kind and loving. I ask God for all the promises in His word. And then in faith, going about my life…knowing He is faithful to do those things. Even as events are happening in my life, I am whispering a prayer.

When you are in constant prayer, you slow down and are mindful of your surroundings and your own internal feelings. You lift it all up to God and He tells you how to respond.

Disobedience is costly. I take full responsibility for how I am feeling right now. While I have so much to be thankful for, because of my disobedience, I am dealing with trivial feelings that could’ve been avoided. Instead of being thankful with all my heart, my mind is replaying what was meant as a distraction and of no significant purpose.

Guard your heart…..truly…guard it. Protect your heart and mind from everything and anything that will pull you away from the Joy of God.

It is MY responsibility to do so. I know in my heart that today is the LAST DAY that I am dealing with this issue. By faith I believe that God will give me the strength to walk away from pettiness and toxic conversations. It is not my duty to do anything but obey the voice of the LORD.

 

I guess I found a title after all…”Obey The voice of the Lord”.

Do Not Hide

During my time talking to my Heavenly Father, I said something that really got me thinking. I said ” Lord, I will run to you and not hide like Adam did in the garden.”

The “me” from a few years ago, would hide from God. I would not pray, I would not seek him. I would not want to even hear him. I tried to hide ( and I learned very quickly that you cannot hide from God). I just didn’t want to be bothered. I couldn’t open up. I was confined to the borders of my mind and inner world.

That prayer allowed me to see just how much I’ve grown closer to God. I am naturally a private and quiet person but there is something comforting in being open and bare before the LORD.

Because of that prayer and confession, I was able to do what I am not able to do through my own effort. Trust me, it was effortless and came without regret, but my natural self wouldn’t normally do it. I rose above a seemingly annoying situation and can rest knowing that God gets the glory in the end.

There was a reason David was called a man after God’s heart. He was by no means perfect ( I am not condoning sin), but he ran to God for everything. He believed that God would not just hear him, but do something. He believed God would soothe the sting of sin in his life. He believed God could save him from his enemies. He believed it all and ran to God first, unlike Adam, who hid behind the bushes when God visited him and his wife. They hid from God. They tried to cover their shame from God. God never assumes anything even though he knows all and can give his judgement without our input. But God loves talk to us. Communication is the basis of our relationships. He asked Adam: ” where are you”, “who told you?” , and “did you?” God asked questions so we may give him answers. So we may express what is in us. They could’ve said ” God , help us. We disobeyed, save us from our poor decision!” The mercy of God would probably have been there to embrace them. But thank you God that your mercy was prepared before they were even created.

Mercy is wrapped up in a beautiful package. That package came to earth in the form of Jesus. Jesus reminds me daily of what God’s mercy looks like. I don’t have to do anything but run into my Father’s arms and snuggle close to him and say thank you. It is in his love that we find all that we need. Spiritual needs that outweigh everything else. The best part is, God can meet ALL of our needs too…just how he sees fit, as we know what he does is always best for us.

I guess all I wanted to say is that I will approach God boldly, without reserve and without fear. No fear because God is love. No fear because there is no condemnation to those that love Christ.