Tag Archives: Surrender

Teacher – I Have A Question!

Photo by Marcos Luiz Photograph on Unsplash

Photo by Marcos Luiz Photograph on Unsplash

I’m stumped! I have no advice to give you, maybe some words of encouragement but here is just a glimpse of a mind full of questions.

What do you do when a situation makes absolutely no sense. It makes sense based on patterns, human nature and folly, wickedness, sin, and just simply life. But, I hear all the time Christian leaders tell us to have expectation, to speak to our situation etc.

If God is sovereign, if his ways are higher than ours, if his wisdom is meant to confuse the wisest of men, what are we to expect? What about those that are martyred for the faith? Those that lose everything? What about people that die despite trusting God?

I remember, last year, I was sick and I told God that I loved him. I washed my face, fixed my hair and got dressed. I set out to live my best life , sick and poor.

I am simply going to make that same confession: God, I love you. You healed me last year and even though things are not exactly how I want them, I am going to fix my hair, wash my face and get dressed. I am going to serve you afraid. I will serve you confused. I will serve you as I am, where I am and with what I have.

I have no answers. I cannot put the puzzle pieces together. I don’t even know what the puzzle looks like. I have no clue what God is doing but all I do know is that I love him. He has done more than enough for me. He is my strength, even now.

All I can expect in this life are two things: Human suffering and that Christ died and rose for me. Because of what He did, I have eternal life. That is the only guarantee in life. I could lose my life, all my material possessions, friends and family but the only thing that remains is my faith and the hope of salvation.

How God chooses to help me, if he even helps me – is his business. I won’t complain or tell him what to do.

The greatest peace I had was waking up and going on with life with the goal of living! I will not just survive, I will strive. I will utilize all that I am and all that I have.

I am thankful. He gave me everything I needed to face the unknown storm heading my way.

It’s like reaching new levels in a game. After winning each level you gain new skills, higher XP and learn better strategies to overcome. Each level makes you stronger.

Daniel 3:16-28(NKJV)

16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. 17 If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. 18 But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.”

Read the rest from the link above…

To those that lost everything or might lose everything, to those that are suffering in different ways, and those that were taught to speak to their situations and to believe in the false doctrine of the Law of Attraction, hear me:

Trusting in God does not mean bad things won’t happen. Trusting in God doesn’t mean you can speak to a situation and change it. God decides in the end when and how things will end. You must reach a place where you are willing to lose everything for Christ. To accept that persecution and troubles are part of life and especially the Christian life. We are not promised riches, fame or anything these false prophets have shoved down our throats.

Photo by Joshua Hanks on Unsplash

Photo by Joshua Hanks on Unsplash

Our goal is sanctification – pruning and refinement. To become virtuous – humble, meek, gentle and kind. To have great faith and to walk in holiness. These things will never fade away.

God has the power to save us from all trouble but we must learn and be willing to learn. It isn’t always about our comfort. God is not a genie. But He did say he is our friend, our comforter and guide. We don’t know what kind of life God has planned for us, but all I know is that whatever it is, it is ultimately for our good and the good of those around us.

Keep the faith,


The Seed Is the WORD OF GOD

The seed of faith is the word of God not money. There is a lot of deception floating around about money being a seed. A lot of well meaning people fall into this farce but plain and simple the seed of faith is the word of God and it is planted in our hearts and produces the harvest of the fruit of the Spirit.

The greatest scheme of the enemy is to get us to distort the word of God because the word of God is what produces our harvest. We are to store treasures in heaven not bribe God with money to get a blessing. I hold on to this truth because it is the word of God that will bring my deliverance in all areas of life.

It’s not good works, it’s not going to church every Sunday, it’s not looking the part and saying the right things, but diligently depositing the word of God into the temple and believing that God will produce the increase!

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Wholeness is what God wants for us. He wants to make us whole! This means producing fruit in all areas of our lives. Whether it be self-control or showing love towards self and others, or having peace despite all circumstances, etc. These are the things God wants for us.

Another point I want to make is, we must work on ourselves before we can ever minister to others. We must allow the Holy Spirit to minister to us in this way first, being kind to ourselves first before we can ever do so for others. Sometimes God will enable us to help others along the way, but ultimately a relationship with God comes before ministry!

I am at a place where I am allowing God to minster to me. To bring me to a place of wholeness in Him and to rely solely on his Word alone.

This means more to me than any material goals I have. It means more to me than any other relationship I have. Because true peace comes from inside of us not the outside.

No one and no thing can fill the void in our hearts like God can. It is truly the Word of God that sets us free, every single day, step by step. A process we go through every day of our lives.

I learned something important. Sin can be conquered, Jesus told us he already did that. We do not fight sin as believers but TEMPTATION. There is a different. Sin leads to death and is a state. After we are delivered from a sin or a lifestyle/habit of disobedience, we are now walking in obedience and righteousness. We must now preserve this righteous state by resisting the devil aka temptation through prayer and feeding the spirit with God’s word. This is the example that Jesus gave is in the desert. He didn’t allow circumstances : being hungry and tired, deter him from his state of righteousness. He didn’t give into his flesh: literally his natural needs. We too can be like Christ because this he promised us! Cling to the promises of Christ! All that he has done, is freely given to us! What a mighty God we serve!

Money and the lust of the flesh will lead us astray if we put our confidence in that and twist the word for own selfish gain. Being a christian is rewarding, freeing and truly life changing but it comes with a price. It means we give up everything we once knew and take up the cross of Jesus. It means not always having our own way but submitting to a holy God. In time, this becomes our own nature. We feel joy in the things of God and are disgusted by things that God hates. But we must be willing to crucify, kill, destroy, annihilate the flesh. We must resurrect Godly boundaries and walk in humility and God given authority to speak, confess and believe what God promised. We will offend many because we no longer please the world but please God. They will never understand but we must be like Jesus and say ” I’m about my Father’s business.”

Source: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+5%3A22-23

The Body Is The Temple Of The HOLY SPIRIT.

This will be the first out of two posts about my weight. The reason  I am limiting the amount of posts is because it can easily become a whining session full of bitterness, confusion and defeat. However, I just wanted to share something I’ve learned

It is common knowledge that the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. If you believe in Jesus Christ you basically have God living inside of you. As a christian our walk with God is not just spiritual but physical and mental too. We need God to help change our attitudes. The way we see ourselves and others. The way we see him needs to change as well. There is always constant growth, or should be. A part of this process comes from throwing down idols. We throw down idols through confession. Specific confession followed by removing said idol. For example: food and body image or your past of being bullied because of your weight. I had a wake up call. God is showing me that I am sensitive in this area. I keep lying to myself thinking I’m strong and nothing affects me but it does. Words hurt. Being mistreated for wanting good things in your life is confusing. So in subconscious ways I sell myself short for comfort. I deep down don’t want to be hated. I don’t like the sly comments or the harsh words. But at the same time selling myself short is affecting my relationship with God. I  am not treating myself correctly. I am not allowing God to be honored by how I treat myself. We are all worthy of love. Not because of what we have done or have to contribute but because we all are created in the image of God. When we lose our identity we become ineffective. We cannot do the will of God because we won’t have the confidence to seek him for it. We also open ourselves up to sin because of a lack of self disciple and boundaries. Its a form of self hate. A reflection of how we see ourselves. And how can we truly love our neighbor if we don’t love ourselves. We must first seek God with all we are and patiently wait as he molds us and removes all the baggage.

This is my current place. And at this point in Time I’m feeling the need to introspect. Not with my own eyes but through God’s eyes. He knows where to look and how to perceive. He knows exactly how to fix and enhance. He knows how to eraticate and heal.

No more dishonoring and abusing this temple of the Holy Spirit.

One Day At a Time Little One

Mathew 7: 21-23
True Disciples
“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’
I keep having reoccurring themed dreams about my university. I truly feel at this point in time, my heart is opening up to the idea of using the rest of my life, energy and talents for investing in the Kingdom of God.
However, there are many times where I feel confused about which talent I should invest in, which direction to go and how to even get started. There are days the confusion weighs heavy on my heart and there are days I feel I can’t do anything.
 I do know the urgency of walking in the will of God but I have no understanding of timing.
 What does this have to do with the scripture you ask? Well, I truly feel that doubt, fear and anxiety are not of God and reflects a lack of trust in him. I have to keep telling myself that he will show me everything at the right time, all I have to do is let him fix me, mold me and purge me into the woman I am to be.
 However, while investing too much into fixing the world and using my so called God given talents and gifts, I don’t ever want to lose my way. I don’t ever want to get so caught up that I forget to keep the law of God. I love the law of God. I love it because I know it’s for my benefit and those around me. I also know it brings joy to God because he is the pure essence of love and holiness. So, instead of focusing on something that is in many ways out of my control , at this time, I will use my energy to seek the face of God. Search for understanding: of him and my role in his master plan of salvation for the world. Because this is HIS SHOW, not mine. All I can do is walk with him in purity.
Mattthew 6:33-34
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
 Sources: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A33&version=ESV


Joy In Surrender through Faith in Christ

I am like the Israelites, always forgetting who God is and who I am in Christ. There are times I get so caught up in my own ways that I start to turn away from the Bible. The Bible holds all the answers to this life. It points us to Christ and the struggles of his people throughout their lives. 


It’s beautiful and humbling how God never leaves me. He watches over me patiently while I slip up and trip up and run away. He will gently call out to me and I’ll glance over and he’ll wait. Then one day I’ll come running back and he’ll embrace me lovingly.  

I will always cherish the love my God has shown me throughout my life. I find joy in his never ending mercy. I find joy in his gentleness. He has always been gentle and kind to me, a very contrasting difference with the way I’ve been treated by most people in my life. He shows me exactly what love looks like. 

I’ve noticed a pattern within the last 10 years of my life and decided I needed to put an end to it. All it takes to break a pattern is to surrender. Surrendering your mind, heart, and soul to God. Letting him do his work is hard for someone who struggles with pride and is a self proclaimed busy body. 

Anyways, finding joy in surrender. Knowing all my burdens are lifted and it’s by my faith that I’m whole. Praise God!

Much Love.



Who am I?

In pain I can find joy. To see my humanity and  finally admit that I am nothing without the Almighty.

Who am I? Who am I in a world that is not my home? Who am I in a crowd that forsakes the ONE?

It’s so easy to get caught up in a lie. Easy to believe a lie. To believe that you will always stay in a rut, that no one loves you, that you’re not good enough, that you have something to prove. God’s love is unconditional. His love covers our sins and our short comings. His love will take us out of the pit and place us in his heavenly home. His love completed everything so we have nothing to prove.

True Joy comes from identity in Christ. Becoming more and more Christ-like everyday. The devil is real and he sends people, circumstances etc to distract us. We also wrestle with our flesh and it’s desires. The price was already paid and we are already heaven bound from the moment we repented and accepted Christ as our savior. However, we must restate our allegiance daily. We must keep focused on our destination: heaven. We don’t have to fight but just STAND. Stand with the armor of God. If we are overcome with too much, continue to stand and hide under the protection of God.

It’s so easy to forget who we are in a world that is not our home. It’s so easy to run away from God because we are afraid or want a faster solution. I am willing to admit that as a Christian I fall short daily and I fall short miserably. However, by the Grace of God I can run to him and ask for forgiveness. I can press the reset button and keep moving. It is by diligence and perseverance that we can see the face of God.

So today, I challenge myself and those reading to claim their inheritance and identity everyday. Say out loud ” I am a child of God. Christ has forgiven me and I have a new identity in him.” Don’t be afraid of anything. Be courageous!


A New Beginning/Answered Prayer.

I didn’t expect that God would answer my prayers so swiftly but it came in the form of a man. He came to me with a message that was meant to set my heart free.

I didn’t expect God to surprise me, turn my world upside down and put me on my head, blood rushing to my brain. I didn’t expect it to feel so good but hurt so much at the same time. I didn’t think such a time for introspection was needed. I thought i was headed in the right direction. Well, as I mentioned in my previous blog posts, something bigger than me was unfolding in front of me. Questions I’ve never thought i’d care about were bombarding my thoughts. For so long I didn’t realize i was running from my own fears. As soon as I opened my heart to speak God came swiftly with an answer. However, it came in the least likely way. At first, I was in doubt. I couldn’t believe it.

It amazes me how much God loves us. He doesn’t leave us hanging and has perfect timing. He was preparing me for this time. Change doesn’t happen over night but I know for a fact that he’s caught my attention.

To completely surrender brings true freedom. Easier said than done right? Well, maybe. But surrendering means just that: stop resisting. I suppose i’m a natural fighter? Or maybe a natural runner ( lol).  Either way, my point is this: God can bless us while teaching us a lesson. Surrender to him. It’s to draw us closer to him. Pay attention to all the cues and signs that God gives us when he is about to do something in our lives. Had I paid more attention, i’d be better prepared.

While on the path of righteousness, God will stop us dead in our tracks-knowing it’s time for the next level. He will prepare us for the pain and the labor, but if we miss it, we will flap around like fish out of water. Nothing in this life is perfect. Nothing is guaranteed to be pain free.

I’ve learned a lesson about true friendship and even love : Being defensive keeps us away from love. When we are so caught up in protecting ourselves we are incapable of expressing love. We become selfish. My relationships are changing. I am beginning to see the beauty in everything around me. There is a sense of freedom that I haven’t truly experienced before. I will continue to learn as God continues to remove the thick walls around my heart.

There is Joy in every painful experience. There is peace in every new beginning.

Finding Joy In His Love

God’s grace is a demonstration of his love.

John 3:16-18

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Sometimes, I have trouble accepting his love completely. I do not doubt that he loves me or the world but there are times when I cannot accept his love. I have been so conditioned  by life to expect that love comes with a price. This notion is something I struggle with constantly. I figure it might be something I struggle with for a while until I allow the walls I’ve put up over the years to crumble.

It is not I that should put walls around me but God. He should be my wall of protection. If I cannot reach a place where this is the case, I will never come to fully accept his love for me. This constant wanting to please in my own strength has set me up for many set backs in  my walk with Christ.

In my last post I questioned the true definition of surrender and repentance:

According to Webster surrender means :

  1. to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., because you know that you will not win or succeed
  2. to give the control or use of (something) to someone else
  3.  to allow something (such as a habit or desire) to influence or control you

With the first definition, If I keep hiding and fighting my way to my own idea of salvation without giving up and just accepting God’s love for me, I will be DOOMED to a life of hardships, pain and eventually spiritual death ( ruin).

Jonah was resistant from God’s order and fled from his duties. He was also hiding from what he was called to do. He had his own personal hang ups, he didn’t want God to forgive a nation because of his own personal grudge. However, God’s love and mercy extended even past Jonah. Sometimes our stubbornness can affect those around us, but that’s another story.

Like Jonah, I am hiding. You know, some people will say ” This person treats me so well and thus I don’t know what to do with myself. How should I respond? Feel?” Instead of just letting go and experiencing true freedom from Grace, I feel I must do everything in my power to keep it in my life.

The idea of something being free is incomprehensible. Is anything TRULY free in this life? But the more I hide or run away, the more I feel the burden of  separation and desperation. Desperate to find the love I’m hiding from.

We all have habits that we cling to. Deep rooted habits that we sometimes think are gone but when something happens we soon realize they never really left.

I warn everyone : Don’t ask God for anything you are not ready for. When I asked God to reveal every ounce of filth in my life, he readily did so. It was the scariest revelation in my life.

When you are so puffed up and not humble, you think you have all the answers and all the tools to serve God when in all honesty you don’t!

We don’t have anything that pleases God in us. We are dirty, filthy and fall short. We cannot do good. However, We can choose to surrender DAILY and accept God’s love.

The many characters in the bible all had something they struggle with and I admit that mine is accepting God’s love freely.

To enjoy the Joy of Grace we must let go and let God love us freely.

Luke 10:38-42

At the Home of Martha and Mary

 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.

She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,

but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

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Have you ever pondered the true meaning of friendship? Lately, that’s all I think about and I can not find a real, honest and pure meaning of the word.

What about the meaning of surrender? When they say SURRENDER and REPENT. What does that REALLY mean? Do I even know?

Sometimes I wonder If I, or anyone, REALLY know what anything means.

What does it mean that I’m even thinking about these things?

Endless sea of questions but I think I might be opening the door to something bigger than myself.