Tag Archives: wisdom

Don’t Numb The Pain – You Have A Choice!

Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

One of the greatest things I’ve done in life was sit through the pain. I didn’t run away, didn’t rationalize, didn’t find unhealthy ways to cope. I dropped everything and sat in my anger, shame and pain.

I sat there and embraced it, completely.

It was in my pain that I saw a loving God and the strength he has given me. In that lonely and painful time, it was then, that I realized that I am in full control over my decisions and actions. I decided, that the greatest power I have, is wielding my faith and holding on to my integrity. All the pain:  self-inflicted or caused by others, was not going to make me into a horrible  person.

I knew I ready won. No one can take God or my integrity away from me.

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

I can do good and be good.

I can rise above the pain of life.

I can hold on to what I truly believe in.

I can explore life with faith.

I also accepted that I knew nothing about the promises of God. It’s not enough to do good deeds, we need to know why we do them.

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

We do good to off balance evil.

We do good to help others.

We do good to glorify God

We do good for our own future – storing up treasures in heaven that never rot or decay.

Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

The sight of heaven and being with God as a reward, made it easier for me to press on. Our mistakes and failures are meaningless under grace. We have a choice, every new day, to chase after God and his ways. We must be willing to throw out human opinion and fear of man to rise up. We will be misunderstood, hated and suffer all kinds of things when we decide to follow God. But, don’t focus on that. Focus on God and what he tells you to do. No one can make you do anything or be anything. No one has that power unless you give it to them.

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash

It’s a choice that affects every other choice you make.

Always aim to choose wisely.

Friend or Foe?

Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash

Photo by Edwin Andrade on Unsplash

Man oh man!

I’m sorry but excuse me? How did I not see this coming? It’s okay though,  I understand now.

CYCLES! History constantly repeats itself until you get it!

Step 1: Identify your weak points and discipline yourself to strengthen them!

That means removing triggers, being aware and slowing down when making decisions!

Step 2: Identify those that undermine you and by all means throw them in the trash!

You are not strong! Don’t try to put up with it, rationalize it out of existence or make excuses for this person. Get rid of them at all cost. There is no negotiating or pleading with these people. Feelings don’t change overnight. You will know a malicious person, set to undermine you when:

1. They put you down whether overtly or covertly through insults, comparisons, or dismissive behavior.

2. You notice you become confused, sad, resentful and private.

Why? Because their aim is to make you feel WORTHLESS!

3. This will happen for the rest of your life so get use to it.

4. Slowly build a support system that will surround you and uplift you during your times in need.

By all means shun every single church, or person that doesn’t fit this qualification. There are churches out there that will make you paranoid, zap you of your life and vitality and make you walk around with constant guilt. Be patient and take your time creating this circle. State what you expect ahead of time and watch people carefully. Circumstances and situations will expose a person.

You deserve to be loved and honored. Don’t settle for less than that! Your inner circle should be people that would even lay their lives down for you and vise versa. Not people that just want to be around you and have a good time, or hear your woes but don’t actually want to root for you and uplift you as a person. This means a lot especially when you are low.  No one will always be happy and full of joy and on cloud 9, 10 and 11, so you need a system of people that will encourage and push you forward. Job had horrible friends. God knew that too and Job had to pray for them, so God would forgive them for judging him and speaking falsely on God’s behalf. But then we see Jonathan, who was not only willing to give up all he had for David, for He understood the calling on David’s life, but was supportive and spoiled the plans of his father Saul to protect his friend. Your friends are LOYAL to you and do not want to see you harmed.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get this right, right way. I wanted to feel guilty for allowing certain people in my life but what will guilt do? Guilt just robs you of your vitality and hinders you from growing and learning. For some, this comes naturally, for others, not so much.

Be willing to walk alone for a season until you find those that will surround you with the love you deserve and help you reach your goals in life. We need each other, but we need the right people!

Until next time,

 

 

 

 

Knowledge, Understanding and Wisdom

I use to believe that title, prestige, high recommendations and being plastered everywhere, was a sign that a school, institution, store, product or service would be the best in it’s field.

However, this time around, my perspective has changed somewhat. After living life a little, I’ve seen people go to prestigious schools but end up with nothing to show for it and other people, who started off in a not so glamorous way, finding hidden resources and having the wisdom to use it effectively in their own life.

One size does not fit all. Just because the masses agree, doesn’t mean it’s for you. Knowledge is meaningless without understanding and wisdom. We need more than just knowing something, we must process this knowledge, comprehend it and then find ways to utilize this knowledge, implementing it in our daily lives so we can reach our goals and full potential. Knowledge without wisdom a waste of time.  You can go to Harvard, complete all the fancy courses and still come out as empty as you started. You had no plan, no strategy. You didn’t know how to use the resources available to you, and you didn’t know what you wanted to use them for.

You must be completely aware and present at all times. In the quest for knowledge, we sometimes go through the motions, following what our instructors or peers recommend without asking ourselves what we want and where we need to go.

Your choices may not look like anyone’s, but are you ready to make the best out of every decision in your life? Taking the good and bad and using them as stepping stones to get to where you need to be?

When one door closes, another one opens.  Never cry over closed doors and missed opportunities. If you are alive, you have more than enough to keep striving and moving forward.

Having a hammer but not knowing how to use it is pointless. It’s the same with everyday life and learning. Don’t allow people, your insecurities or whatever distraction/pressure, deter you from making the best out of every situation and gleaning what you need from it.

Make the best of it all. Use all your resources wisely and never give up.

 

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The Annoying Nag

Word of the day
to find fault or complain in an irritating, wearisome, or relentless manner.
          I learned that when we nag people who will never change, or people who do not live up to our preconceived notions, all it does is cause tension, stress and animosity. Nagging conveys the subtle message that you are displeased because you cannot get what you want.
         I’ve learned, that If I speak twice and no one is listening, then I simply stop talking and move on. I remove every trace of myself from the situation. I work around it, finding solutions that will bring me peace.
         There are countless articles on how to communicate with people to get what you want, but they fail to realize that everyone has their own mind and will. People will choose what they want to listen to and how they want to respond. We cannot control anyone. However, their response dictates what sections and circles we place them in. A lazy, self-absorbed person will not be in your inner circle. A person that dismisses your feelings will not be in your inner circle. People show their true selves all the time. We simply choose to ignore the signs. Sometimes people nag for no reason at all. They just like to control people, have a sense of superiority and feel as if everyone must do as they say and NOW.
           No one wants to be around a nag and everyone, at some point in their lives, nagged someone or been a victim to nagging. We must be slow to speak ( hard, I know) but if we do speak, speak with integrity and respect.
           Lesson I learned leaving 2016: If someone constantly tries to make me angry, puts me down, treats me like a child and never respects me, I have the power and the freedom to stop talking or listening to them. So many times we are guilt tripped as believers and humans in this society to allow draining people in our space. If we do not care for our emotional health, how can we better serve others? Only the Holy Spirit can change hearts, all we are called to do is love one another.

The Seed Is the WORD OF GOD

The seed of faith is the word of God not money. There is a lot of deception floating around about money being a seed. A lot of well meaning people fall into this farce but plain and simple the seed of faith is the word of God and it is planted in our hearts and produces the harvest of the fruit of the Spirit.

The greatest scheme of the enemy is to get us to distort the word of God because the word of God is what produces our harvest. We are to store treasures in heaven not bribe God with money to get a blessing. I hold on to this truth because it is the word of God that will bring my deliverance in all areas of life.

It’s not good works, it’s not going to church every Sunday, it’s not looking the part and saying the right things, but diligently depositing the word of God into the temple and believing that God will produce the increase!

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

Wholeness is what God wants for us. He wants to make us whole! This means producing fruit in all areas of our lives. Whether it be self-control or showing love towards self and others, or having peace despite all circumstances, etc. These are the things God wants for us.

Another point I want to make is, we must work on ourselves before we can ever minister to others. We must allow the Holy Spirit to minister to us in this way first, being kind to ourselves first before we can ever do so for others. Sometimes God will enable us to help others along the way, but ultimately a relationship with God comes before ministry!

I am at a place where I am allowing God to minster to me. To bring me to a place of wholeness in Him and to rely solely on his Word alone.

This means more to me than any material goals I have. It means more to me than any other relationship I have. Because true peace comes from inside of us not the outside.

No one and no thing can fill the void in our hearts like God can. It is truly the Word of God that sets us free, every single day, step by step. A process we go through every day of our lives.

I learned something important. Sin can be conquered, Jesus told us he already did that. We do not fight sin as believers but TEMPTATION. There is a different. Sin leads to death and is a state. After we are delivered from a sin or a lifestyle/habit of disobedience, we are now walking in obedience and righteousness. We must now preserve this righteous state by resisting the devil aka temptation through prayer and feeding the spirit with God’s word. This is the example that Jesus gave is in the desert. He didn’t allow circumstances : being hungry and tired, deter him from his state of righteousness. He didn’t give into his flesh: literally his natural needs. We too can be like Christ because this he promised us! Cling to the promises of Christ! All that he has done, is freely given to us! What a mighty God we serve!

Money and the lust of the flesh will lead us astray if we put our confidence in that and twist the word for own selfish gain. Being a christian is rewarding, freeing and truly life changing but it comes with a price. It means we give up everything we once knew and take up the cross of Jesus. It means not always having our own way but submitting to a holy God. In time, this becomes our own nature. We feel joy in the things of God and are disgusted by things that God hates. But we must be willing to crucify, kill, destroy, annihilate the flesh. We must resurrect Godly boundaries and walk in humility and God given authority to speak, confess and believe what God promised. We will offend many because we no longer please the world but please God. They will never understand but we must be like Jesus and say ” I’m about my Father’s business.”

Source: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+5%3A22-23

Trusting in The Voice of the LORD

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not depend on your own understanding. Thank you Lord for your word.

The point and purpose of this blog post is to encourage everyone to use discernment and at the end of the day, listen to the voice of the LORD.

Don’t be a fool. Don’t keep doing the same things over and over again and call yourself sane. [insert laugh here].

Listen to the voice of God. Yes, test all Spirits but please, reach a place where you can safely say I hear and trust in the voice of the LORD. He is the one that protects us even when we cannot see overtly what is going on.

People may smile in your face, even say they wish you well but constantly, their actions speak louder. When situations get rough, are they uplifting or making things worse? Even still, they might not be doing anything at all, but the LORD will show us the person’s intentions. Only God knows  the fullest extent, but he is merciful to show us exactly where someone stands. This is not an excuse to retaliate but to use discretion and wisdom. As my leaders would always say ” Don’t fight against the prick.” Godly love doesn’t mean sitting in the presence of those that are going to cause you to sin or be lead astray, slander you, get you out of the will of God, etc. Did Jesus sit around with the Pharisees? He knew, ( yes he is God) but he knew just what their intentions were every time, even though on the surface many people would justify their actions. This is the same thing God can do for us too.

In all things we must glorify God and obedience is one of them. Everything God says to us is for our own good. So obey the LORD, don’t trust in your own understanding especially when things look dandy and well on the surface. Be wise!

Lesson of the week

I learned a lesson recently and want to share it with everyone.

 

Last week friday I had my last two wisdom teeth removed. The surgery was mostly painless and I actually was asleep for most of the procedure. The previous one in Novemeber of last year was difficult. I spent a week stressing and googling every article I could find and I woke up during surgery from excruciating jaw pain while they were sawing away. Recovery wasn’t too bad though. However, this time around I’m not too sure. I prayed to God for mercy and help. I heard that my surgery would be ok and I’ll recover faster than last time. I was also warned to protect my emotions because I’ll be feeling really low and sad this week.

After surgery, the whole week I felt tired, weak and sore. I wanted to stop taking the painkillers but the jaw pain was so persistent that I couldn’t sleep. I began to look up articles again.  Re-reading the same ones over and over. It didn’t make me feel any better, sometimes even more afraid. Everytime I told myself to have faith, I’ll get angry.  Past medical issues were my concern and I didn’t want another flare from the pain medication. My faith was not strong. My emotions were all over the place. I was so distraught. I felt guilty for so many things, not even using this time to relax and recover. Just a big fat mess in my mind.

 

Today is Friday and I have no idea what to expect for the day but what I learned was that all that stressing changed nothing! Fixed nothing, did nothing but made me feel sick! That’s not faith at all and probably turned what could’ve been a relaxing recovery week into a ball of emotions. Today is a new day, why stress? Believing means expecting, not yeah ok I’ll listen but then freak out anytime something seems to not bring me immediate comfort. On the good side I have no infection, my wound is healing well and I don’t have to go through this ever again.

 

Lesson learned.

 

 

Random Love.

Never be a martyr or a people pleaser. Someone who makes the people around you comfortable before you are even comfortable. You will become a target for various kinds of people simply because you have no boundaries. Like I mentioned before in another post, those that love you will not exhaust you. They won’t use or deplete you. As you invest in them, they will invest in you. Be mindful of their words and actions. Be sure that they line up.

Don’t put too much emotion or trust in those who do not even give you an explanation or make any effort in helping you understand what they want. Communication is the foundation to every healthy relationship. Someone that loves you would WANT to communicate and come to a conclusion.

In our world, love is scarce. It’s not something human beings naturally have. Parents are usually love-less and then those traits are passed down to their children. It takes just one person open and willing to learn and acquire love to change their environment. Before we can change our world we must allow God to change us first. We need to take the time to grow in love. Growing in love is painful. We start seeing our flaws. We begin to see the flaws in others. We begin to see what doesn’t work. We begin to feel. However, there is a flip side. We also begin to see our own transformations. We learn how to interact with others or when not to interact with others. We stop caring so much about the silly things and start investing in meaningful things. We learn how to celebrate others. We learn how to keep our dignity. We become people of integrity.

We are all imperfect but once we start seeking change, it will come. I’m learning to accept that some of us are learning and some of us will always be in a rut. Surround yourself with people who are learning. Help those who are learning. And yes, remove the rut dwellers. Maybe or may not they will find that spark that will ignite their passion for learning. If not, that is their own problem to fix. Accept that only God can change people, NOT US. We are only called to understand.

Love starts from the inside out. God said, love your neighbor AS yourself. Not more or less. Most of all love God with everything we have. Without that, we won’t even know where to start on our quest towards love.

Forgive yourself and others. Seek God for ultimate forgiveness. Always remind yourself of who you are and who you will become.

Be joyful always!